Mormon Life - Tips tag

{Lifestyle} Out of Gift Ideas? Try This.

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:03:00 -0700

by Connie Sokol
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Choose something a tad more personal to give for Christmas this year and really enjoy giving it, instead of crossing it off the old list.

Despite our lack of time, energy, or planning (perhaps you’ve put off holiday shopping as long as I have), giving a meaningful gift doesn’t have to be stressful or time-consuming. It’s about sharing the real you or blessing someone’s life with a simple act. It’s the gifts of forgiveness, love, or peace (or not sending that sequined cowboy hat).

In the book Becoming a Better You, author Joel Osteen shares the experience of a woman driving a new car when she gets in an accident. Afterwards, in tears, she explains that her car was a gift from her husband. As she reaches into the glove compartment, she sees attached to the insurance information a note that says, "Honey, just in case you ever have an accident, please remember I love you and not the car."

These kinds of thoughtful, gentle gifts are priceless and lasting. A few years ago when I came down with pneumonia, a neighbor brought by a grocery bag full of chick flicks and a book series. But what made this more poignant is that she had been sick too—she knew, as a woman, what I would want: quiet, soothing, lovely images to distract me from the daily reality. That book series saw me through an intensely difficult time and has become a personal favorite.

Personal gifts share a bit of who you are: your tastes, your joys, your talents. One lady chose to type and bind some of her favorite recipes and give them as gifts. Before everyone had cell phones (truly back in the day), my husband bought gift phone cards for his family—that way he could call them whenever he wanted throughout the year. Another Christmas I hand painted ornaments for family, but I did it the smart way. I went on an overnighter at a very comfy hotel and painted while watching all six episodes of Pride and Prejudice and eating tasty vittles. Ahhh, that was a meaningful Christmas gift.

You’ll often find that a heartfelt gift doesn't need to involve things. Is there a friend you haven’t spoken to because of unhealed differences? A family member you avoid or a co-worker you can’t stand? Perhaps this year, for just one month, you can give them the gift of love. Each time you see them, say a silent “I love you” in your mind. Even if you don’t feel it. Even if just being in the same square footage makes you want to reach in and pull out their larynx. We can do anything for 30 days. Give it a try.

Meaningful gifts take a little thought and a bit of sacrifice, but that’s exactly what makes them so meaningful. Mary Ellen Edmunds shares in her book, Love is a Verb, about being asked as a child to take her prized numbers game to a sick girl in her sixth grade class. Mary Ellen says that “It was not with a burning sense of charity that I put that numbers game in the sack.” They drove to the girl’s small house where nine children lived, including small, pale Beatrice. As Mary Ellen handed her the game, Beatrice immediately lit up and began playing with it. Mary Ellen recalls, “Something happened inside of me at that moment—something significant. I was too tough to let it show on the outside, but in my heart something very important and good was happening. I felt happy. I felt I’d done something that mattered.”

Choose to give something that matters this season, even if it’s just one offering. Whether it’s about a fender bender, forgiving someone, or sacrificing something important, perhaps our greatest joy this season could be giving the meaningful gift.

Connie Sokol is a mother of six—expecting her seventh—and a presenter, former TV and radio host, and author of several books, including Faithful, Fit & Fabulous. For tips, podcasts, columns, and books visit 8basics.com.

Preparing by Developing Your Skills

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:09:00 -0600

by Emergency Essentials
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Developing your emergency and self reliance skills (like cutting hair) will go a long way towards preparing you to be self sufficient. Consider this thought for a moment: "You can become your own best resource in an emergency situation if you’ve prepared yourself ahead of time." This is done by learning some basic and needful skills. Keep in mind that not all emergencies are major natural disasters. Smaller but significant personal difficulties such as job-loss, greatly reduced income, loss of transportation, being snowed in, having a broken-down washing machine, loss of electrical power, and having a health need when far from medical care are just a few examples of emergencies that many of us face at one time or another. How helpful would it be if you knew how to do the following?

    1.    Wash your clothes by hand
    2.    Bake your own bread
    3.    Cut hair
    4.    Perform the Heimlich maneuver
    5.    Make basic clothing for your family
    6.    Build a fire
    7.    Entertain your children without TV or Computers
    8.    Perform CPR
    9.    Use cloth diapers
    10.    Light or heat your home without electricity
    11.    Grow a garden and preserve its produce
    12.    Change a flat tire
    13.    Cook a meal outdoors
    14.    Purify water
    15.    Set up a tent
    16.    Perform basic first aid
    17.    Assembling various preparedness and camping gear

How do your skills measure up when you look at the above list? If you feel helpless and horrified at the idea of needing to use these skills, how can you begin to develop and perfect such skills? What resources are available? Fortunately there are several cookbooks and preparedness manuals available. It would be a wise investement to collect a small library of these helpful books.

If you are fortunate enough to live in an area where you’re acquainted with your neighbors or if you have interested friends, club or church members, you may want to consider developing a reciprocal or bartering system—trading goods and services back and forth such as trading a couple of hours of babysitting for the children of a hairdresser who will in turn give your family haircuts, or preparing meals for a woman who loves to sew and will trade her skills for yours. If you develop this sort of network ahead of time it will seem natural for it to continue to function in times of stress. You can network to learn from each other as well, with a trained person teaching emergency medical skills.

Excellent free articles are available at www.beprepared.com/Insight, also found at www.preparednesspantry.blogspot.com. Another wonderful way to begin to educate yourself is by watching videos online. Emergency Essentials has its own YouTube channel with these types of videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/EmergencyEssentials.

5 Easy Ways to Make Your Marriage a Priority

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 00:05:00 -0600

by Jonathan Swinton, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
source: MormonLife.com

Does it ever feel difficult to find time to nurture your marriage amidst the hustle and bustle of life? You are not alone. The trend in our society seems to be moving toward adding more and more things to our schedules. Whether it is taking care of the kids, work commitments, driving the kids to the sports practices and music lessons, church responsibilities, or school, just thinking about it all makes me tired!

So how do we make marriage a priority while not neglecting our other responsibilities? Dr. William Doherty, a well-known marriage researcher, suggests daily couple rituals as a simple means to make each other a priority in a marriage relationship. I suggest them to couples I work with in counseling all the time because they improve the emotional connection in a marriage. Couple rituals are social interactions that are repeated, coordinated, and significant for both of you. They may not be convenient, but they are essential for a healthy, emotional connection. Here are 5 simple rituals:

   1. Talk rituals. Set aside 15 minutes each day for uninterrupted talking time. Let the kids know that it is mom and dad time, and unless they are bleeding profusely, don't let them interrupt. It can actually be very healthy for kids to see their parents having meaningful communication. Make sure you are not folding laundry, checking emails, or anything else that would distract you from paying attention to each other. Don't talk about logistical issues such as who will take the kids to soccer practice tomorrow. Think about the type of things you talked about when you first got together--talk like that. I recommend you set a specific time (right after dinner, after you put the kids to bed, etc.) to ensure that it happens every day. If one of you travels for work, talk by phone.

   2. Greeting rituals. Stop what you are doing anytime one of you returns from being gone for more than an hour or two and give each other a hug and a kiss, and tell each other it's great to see you. It won't take more than 10 or 15 seconds, but it will help nurture your relationship. If you need ideas, think of how dogs reacts when you come home. They stamp their feet and spin in circles. You have no doubt the dog is happy to see you. Wouldn't it be great if you got that excited to see each other?

   3. Departure rituals. Make sure you always say goodbye with affection. This is similar to the greeting rituals. Shouldn't we all be sad to say goodbye to our spouse? Show it. Tell them you love them.

   4. Message rituals. Send some kind of nice message to each other every day. You could leave notes for each other, text each other, send cute emails, write on each other’s Facebook page, etc. Be creative.

   5. Sleep rituals. Go to bed at the same time. This is not the same as going to sleep at the same time. I bring that up because couples are always using the excuse that one likes to go to bed later than the other, or one works the night shift. If one of you wants to stay up after the ritual, that is fine. It is healthy for a relationship to have a ritual that ends the day together. It could be as simple as having five minutes to connect again at the end of the day, giving each other a hug and a kiss, having a prayer together, and letting each other know you love each other.

If you are not doing these things at present it may feel a bit contrived at first, but that's okay. Give it time and it will start to feel natural. Doing all of these things will only take a total of about 30 minutes a day. They will be 30 minutes that really count for your relationship because you will be making your relationship a priority. If you don't think you have the time, make it. It will be worth it in the end.

Relationship expert Jonathan Swinton is a practicing Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Swinton Counseling in Utah: 801-647-9951, www.swintoncounseling.com.

Day 10: Plan A Christmas Outing

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 00:06:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Family activities to make your season merry and bright.

(For all other days, click here.) Get out of the house and enjoy one of these fun, holiday family activities.

Ride the Polar Express

“The Polar Express” is one of the most famous and beloved children’s books around on the Christmas theme. There are lots of train rides that provide caroling, hot chocolate, treats and, of course, a meeting with Santa. Here are the five best polar expresses of the west:

Heber Valley Railroad (UT). According to their website, “Passengers enjoy hot cocoa and cookies while caroling and hearing a traditional, holiday story. Santa joins the audience to meet each child and present them with a special gift.”

Grand Canyon Railway (AZ). In addition to their polar express rides through November and December, they also provide a special Christmas Eve ride.

Royal Gorge Route (CO). This Santa express is a place where “children are encouraged to wear cozy pajamas and relax with family and friends while they sip homemade cocoa and listen to classic holiday stories read by Santa’s elves.”

Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad (CO). All the fixings: reading “The Polar Express,” caroling, eating treats and drinking hot chocolate, and receiving gifts from Santa.

Mount Hood Railroad (OR). All children receive their own bell and a picture with Santa. According to their site, “This is a magical trip for the whole family and one you will want to ‘BELIEVE’ in.”

Don’t live close to any of these? Find your state here to see if there are any other polar express rides available. Or make your own, by bringing cookies and a thermos along on the trains or subway or other sorts of public transportation available, and read the story together as a family.

See the Nutcracker ballet

Tchaikovsky’s famous classical suite comes to life across the country and the world in ballet theaters everywhere. If you live in Utah, Ballet West is showing a traditional version of the Nutcracker ballet as well as a fun “Nutty” Nutcracker version. You can see one or both by purchasing tickets here.

Visit your local zoo

Many zoos provide special Christmas activities during December, and some of them do so for free. The Oakland, CA, zoo is famous for their ZooLights show where visitors can see the light show, “enjoy a fantasyland of giant toy soldiers with over-sized candy canes, lollipops, and gingerbread cookies in the rides area,” and “mingle among hundreds of thousands of energy-efficient LED lights” while listening to Christmas music. Zoo Boise provides a day of free admission with a visit from Santa and special animal enrichment activities. Call your zoo or look them up online to find out if they have any seasonal events scheduled.

Provide service

    1.    Go caroling through your neighborhood, especially visiting those that are elderly or ill.
    2.    Visit your local hospital or nursing center (but make sure to arrange the visit ahead of time) and just visit with the patients or put on a musical recital or Christmas family home evening for them.
    3.    Work at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. You can find homeless shelters in your area here, or by looking them up in your phone book.

Tour Christmas lights

Take a drive as a family to view all the Christmas lights and decorations in your neighborhood. Many cities have areas and neighborhoods famous for their decorations, and if you’re lucky maybe you’ll even get to see a house synced to music, like this one in Lindon, Utah.

One of the most famous light displays in Mormondom is the Temple Square Christmas lights display. Even if you can't make it, share some beautiful photos with your family. (Click here to see some.)

Discussion: What is your favorite family outing during the holidays?

Day 9: Read a Christmas Message

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 00:05:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Read or watch a Christmas story with your family.

(For all other days, click here.) On a more spiritual note, here are some great resources for Christmas stories, devotionals, and even a little family history.

Missionary Christmas Stories

Missionaries, like the wisemen of old, travel afar bearing gifts. And they find that when they’re miles away from friends and family at Christmas, they grow closer to Heavenly Father and catch a glimpse of their celestial home.

The Church magazines asked readers to share with them their own experiences with Christmas in the mission field, and responses came in from all over the world. Christmas traditions, situations, and climates were different, but the overwhelming spirit of the Savior’s love was the same.

To read the missionaries’ Christmas stories, click here.

Christmas Devotional

Watch the 2010 First Presidency Christmas Devotional

To watch President Henry B. Eyring’s talk, click here.

To watch President Dieter F. Uchtdor’s talk, click here.

Or, read the talks from this year's devotional:

President Monson, "A Bright, Shining Star"
President Eyring, "The Gift of a Savior"
President Uchtdorf, "Seeing Christmas through New Eyes"

Or, read other Christmas messages from members of the First Presidency in recent years past. Here are some we like:

President Thomas S. Monson, "Christmas Gifts, Christmas Blessings"
Presdent Gordon B. Hinckley, "The Wondrous and True Story of Christmas"
President Gordon B. Hinckley, "To Do Good Always"
President Henry B. Eyring, "Home for Christmas"
President James E. Faust, "A Christmas with No Presents"

A Christmas Carol 101

Put together your own reading of A Christmas Carol. You can print out a radio play version of A Christmas Carol and read it with your friends and family here.

Make a traditional feast as seen in A Christmas Carol!

Non-alcoholic plum pudding recipe
Roast Goose recipe
Wassail recipe

Write Your Own Christmas Stories

Have an activity where you write down some of your family's favorite Christmas stories--you can even submit them to magazines for publication or save them for competitions, like the Deseret News annual "Christmas I Remember Best" competition. Or just type them up, print them out, bind them at your local copy shop, and give copies to your family for Christmas.

Discussion: What is your favorite Christmas story?

Day 8: Pamper Yourself

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 00:06:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Relieve a little holiday stress with these pampering ideas. (For all other days, click here.) "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." ~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris

Relieve Your Holiday Stress

Christmas is known as a time of peace…and shopping lists, extended family, and kids home from school. Ever feel like you need a vacation from all the Christmas vacation? Here are some tips to help relieve a little holiday stress.

Click here to read the story.

Pampering with Peppermint

Make your home a place of peace and serenity this Christmas season by setting aside a day during to make a home day spa for yourself. Check out these recipes for homemade face masks and scrub using festive peppermint.

Peppermint Lip Scrub

Ingredients:
One pot for storage
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon caster sugar
Peppermint oil (about 1/4 tsp)
Almond oil/Vitamin E oil (about 1/4 tsp)
Glass bowl (for mixing)

Instructions:
Mix the sugar and oils.
Dab a small amount onto lips and rub together to gently exfoliate.
You can then lick off the scrub or wipe off with a cloth. This product can be stored at room temperature.

For more info about this recipe, click here.

Peppermint Foot Scrub

Ingredients:
1 cup of Epsom salt
1/2 cup of cold water
2 drops of peppermint essential oil

Instructions:
Combine Epsom salt and peppermint oil.
Add water gradually. The mass should resemble a paste. It shouldn't be too soft or too hard.
Rub feet and soles in circular motion.
Rinse off with warm water.

For more info about this recipe, click here.

Peppermint Face Tea Toner

Ingredients:
1 cup water
Peppermint tea bag

Instructions:
Boil water and steep peppermint tea bag for 10 minutes.
Remove tea bag and let cool.
Apply liquid to face and neck with cotton ball or pad.

Make a Holiday Gratitude Journal

The stress associated with making the holidays perfect may sometimes cause us to forget what the holidays are truly about—a time to be grateful for our blessing. At the end of each day during the holiday season take a moment to write in your holiday gratitude journal.

Discussion:

What’s your favorite “me time” activity?

Relieve Your Holiday Stress

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 00:01:00 -0700

by Angela Lankford
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Tips for a (mostly) stress-free holiday season! Christmas is known as a time of peace...and shopping lists, extended family, and kids home from school. Ever feel like you need a vacation from all the Christmas vacation? Here are some tips to help relieve a little holiday stress.

1. Be selective about your holiday traditions. You don't have to do every single tradition from your childhood to adult life. Instead, select a few traditions to do this holiday season and save the others ones for next year. Rotating your traditions yearly will relieve your stress and also allow you to hold on to the traditions you love.   

2. Stop searching for the perfect gift. Trying to find the perfect gift for a loved one, along with budgeting and affording those gifts, can be one of the most stressful parts of the holiday. Shop online to save time or consider getting gift cards for your teens and tweens so that they can then go and pick out the perfect gift for themselves.   

3. Keep a gift closet. Shop year-round for gifts to save yourself some stress during the holiday season. If you see a toy or item that your child could grow into in a year, buy it and save it in your gift closet. The gift closet is not only effective for Christmas time, but also for birthdays and other gift-giving occasions.   

4. Do a Secret Santa amongst your family members so that you won’t feel overwhelmed trying to buy gifts for everyone. Secret Santa delegates who gives gifts to whom and ensures that no one is forgotten.

5. Do service for others. When you get outside of yourself to help those in need, you are better able to forget your own stress. Helping those in need to have a wonderful holiday season will also help to brighten your own. Consider caroling to neighbors or baking Christmas cookies to leave at someone's door.

6. Eat well and exercise throughout the holiday season instead of just making a New Year’s resolution to do better after the holidays. As you get your body moving through exercise, your whole being will feel more relaxed.

7. Remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas and the Savior’s birth. This will help you feel less stressed about the commercialism of the holidays and traditions that you feel obligated to keep up with.

Day 7: Perform A Small Act of Service

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 00:06:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: The true spirit of Christmas is about giving. Take a few moments to perform an act of service this season.

(For all other days, click here.) "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6

Simple Acts

Simpleact.lds.org is a church-sponsored website that provides access to volunteer service opportunities for the LDS Church. Volunteer opportunities include providing translations for Church publications that are distributed online and around the world. Or maybe you want to transcribe historical records to make them available online in a searchable format.

To learn more about Simple Acts, visit simpleacts.lds.org.

"The Best Christmas Ever"

This talk given by President Thomas S. Monson is a beautiful Christmas story of one family's act of service:

In the early 1930s, Margaret Kisilevich and her sister Nellie gave a Christmas gift to their neighbors, the Kozicki family, which was remembered by them all their lives and which has become an inspiration to their families.

Home to Margaret back then was Two Hills, Alberta, Canada—a farming community populated largely by Ukrainian and Polish immigrants who generally had large families and were very poor. It was the time of the Great Depression.

Margaret’s family consisted of her mother and father and their 15 children. Margaret’s mother was industrious and her father was enterprising—and with all those children, they had a built-in labor force. Consequently, their home was always warm, and despite their humble circumstances, they were never hungry. In the summer they grew an enormous garden, made sauerkraut, cottage cheese, sour cream, and dill pickles for barter. They also raised chickens, pigs, and beef cattle. They had very little cash, but these goods could be exchanged for other commodities they could not produce themselves.

To read the full story, click here.

12 Days of Christmas Service

This “Twelve Days of Christmas” project is designed for a very special family in your neighborhood or area that you’ve discovered has fallen on hard times this season. It may take a little more time and creativity, but it’s sure to be one both families will eagerly await throughout each of the twelve days.

For a list of twelve themed ideas you can give your chosen family to accompany the familiar Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” click here.

Video: Have I Done Any Good In the World Today?

Watch this Mormon Messages video on Service.

What is the most memorable act of service you have ever received? Leave a comment below.

Day 5: Discover New Holiday Music

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 00:06:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: On the fifth day of Christmas, LDS Living gave to me...new holiday music all for free!(For all other days, click here.) “Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.” ~ E.Y. Harburg

Create a Christmas Playlist

Discover a new favorite Christmas song/rendition. Go to Pandora.com and Genius will generate a customized playlist full of Christmas classics and new releases. And the best part, it's free!

Handel's Messiah

Even though it was first written for Easter in April 1742, Handel's Messiah has become essential to the Christmas season. To listen to the full two-hour masterpiece performed by the "Fabulous Philadelphians" — one of the world's great orchestras -- and the nationally-renowned Philadelphia Singers Chorale, click here.

Christmas Carol Fun Facts

Red Nose, Warm Heart, Big Bucks
There are more than 140 million recordings of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” by 500 different performers. Gene Autry’s version has sold 12 million copies, making “Rudolph” the second biggest selling Christmas song. Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” is #1.

Too Cool to Be Hot
“A Christmas Song” was written in 1944 by Mel Torme and Robert Wells on a sweltering summer day by the pool. Similarly, Leroy Anderson wrote “Sleigh Ride” during a heat wave in August of 1948.

Downer, Dude!
"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” was made famous by Judy Garland in 1944. The original version began grimly with, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last." She hated those five words, so the lyrics were changed to, "let your heart be light." The Garland version also contains the line “but ‘till then we’ll have to muddle through some how,” which in all later versions of the song was changed to “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”

For more Christmas carol facts, please visit caroloke.com.

Free Christmas Download

Three lovely ladies met while singing in a fireside and have since become the musical trio Mercy River. Click here to enjoy a free download of one of their Christmas songs.

After all this talk of new Christmas music,
What is your all-time favorite Christmas song, and by which artist? Leave a comment below.

Day 4: Simple Gift Ideas

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:05:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Here's a cheat sheet for your Christmas gift shopping. (For all other days, click here.) Need a last minute gift for that co-worker you forgot about, or maybe you're struggling to find the "perfect" gift? Fear no more! Here are some ideas for those hard-to-buy-for people, gifts ideas for neighbors, and a little holiday gift humor.

Gifts that focus on the Savior

The guiding rule for choosing gifts is that they must focus on the Savior. They can be directly linked to Christmas and the birth of Christ, or they can simply be Christ-centered. For a list of gift ideas, click here.

10 Gifts Under $10

Shopping for people who already have everything doesn't have to be a challenge. For some unique gift ideas, click here.

Easy Gift How-to's

“Christmas” doesn't have to mean spending $15 on each of your friends, or even spending hours on lavish and original homemade gifts. Instead, try these simple solutions, which can each be easily expanded to account for multiple receivers. To read the full story, click here.

Food gift ideas

Tired of giving and getting the same fudge every year for Christmas? Here are some great ideas from the lovely Kate and Sara of Our Best Bites:

1.    Peppermint bark popcorn
2.    Peppermint candy cane brownies
3.    Hot fudge sauce
4.    Easy pretzel turtles
5.    Homemade marshmallows
6.    Buttermilk syrup
7.    Iced sugar cookies
8.    Gingerbread cookies
9.    Fruity candied popcorn
10.    Sugar scrub
11.    Dipped pretzel rods
12.    Multigrain bread in a jar
13.    Peanut brittle
14.    Chocolate toffee sugar cookies
15.    Almond poppy seed bread
16.    Pie in a jar
17.    Ginger spice cookies
18.    Cinnamon bun popcorn
19.    Double chocolate waffle mix
20. Peppermint Fudge Cupcake Jar

Discussion

What is the craziest Christmas gift you have ever received or given?

Simple Gift How-to

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:02:00 -0700

by Heather Holm
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: “Christmas” doesn't have to mean spending $15 on each of your friends, or even spending hours on lavish and original homemade gifts. Instead, try these simple solutions, which can each be easily expanded to account for multiple receivers. COOKIES AND COCOA GIFT BASKET

A few years ago, a neighbor surprised me with a basketful of homemade cookies. She included a homemade cocoa mix that was absolutely delicious. I was delighted! It made my Christmas extra special that year.

If you would like to consider using this idea for a Christmas gift, feel free to use any cookie recipe, and include the cocoa mix as an added bonus.

Materials
  An attractive empty basket
  1 or 3 Mason jars with lids and rings
        (The Mason jar can be small or large, depending on the size of the recipient's family.)
  Cocoa Mix (below)
  Christmas wrapping paper or fabric
  Decorative-edged scissors
  Homemade cookies
  A bow for the handle of the basket
  Paper label
  Christmas tissue paper (optional)
  Christmas mugs (optional)

Cocoa Mix Recipe
1 cup powdered sugar
½ cup cocoa powder
½ cup non-dairy cream powder
¼ tsp. salt
2 ¾ cups instant nonfat powdered milk
1 cup miniature marshmallows, wrapped in pretty cellophane or placed in a baggie tied with a bow (optional)

Directions
Mix the dry cocoa ingredients together and pour them into one of the Mason jars. Securely place the lid and ring on the jar.

Cut a 10-inch-square piece from the Christmas wrapping paper (or fabric) and place it on the table, decorative side down. Turn the jar of cocoa mix upside down (lid first) and place it in the center of the wrapping paper. Draw the ends of the wrapping paper upward toward you. At the neck of the jar, wrap the ribbon around the wrapping paper and tie it in a pretty bow. Turn the jar right side up and place a label on it with directions on how to mix the cocoa, which is to add 3 to 4 tablespoons of the mix to 1 cup of hot water.

Bake the cookies, and when they've cooled, place them in a pretty container. You can decorate an empty Cool Whip container (or something similar), or place the cookies on a pretty, disposable plate and cover them with decorative cellophane.

Place a couple of layers of Christmas tissue in the basket. Add the cookies, marshmallows, and cocoa mix. Tie a big bow on the handle of the basket. Don't forget to include a card!
You can also combine the dry cookie ingredients and put them in a jar. Label the jar with instructions, such as necessary additional ingredients, oven temperature, how to prepare the dough, and how to bake the cookies. If you do it this way, you will have room in the basket to add inexpensive Christmas mugs for each member of the recipient's family.

ICE MELTER IN A BUCKET

My neighbors gave me one of these several Christmases ago, and I refill the bucket and reuse it every year. What a practical and thoughtful gift.

Materials
Empty gallon-sized bucket with lid (used or new)
Ice melter (to melt ice and snow on sidewalks and driveways)
Scoop (can be small and inexpensive)
Bow or other decoration
Spray paint (optional)

Directions
If your bucket is in really bad shape, you may want to spray paint it. You can also purchase a nice bucket at your local hardware store.

Fill the bucket with ice melter and bury the scoop in it so just a small portion of the handle is showing. Put the lid on the bucket. Attach a silk poinsettia or some other Christmas decoration to the top of the bucket. You'll be amazed at how appreciated this gift will be!

HEATING PAD

Everyone loves these! They are soothing on stiff joints and muscles. The heating pad needs to fit into a microwave to be warmed, so don't make it too big.

Materials
Soft hand towel (or similar material)
Rice
Sewing thread to match hand towel
Gift Tag

Directions
Fold the dish towel in half and se two of the sides closed. (Or you can double the material by folding the towel in half, twice.) Fill 2/3 full of rice. Add more rice if desired, but don't overfill; the rice needs to be loose inside of the bag. Fold the edges of the third side into the bag and hand baste it closed. On a sewing machine with a decorative stitch, sew a seam tag with instructions on how long to leave the heating pad in the microwave (usually 1 to 2 minutes on medium heat).

FAMILY COOKBOOK

Collect a favorite recipe (or two) from each of your relatives' families and combine the recipes into a simple, inexpensive cookbook. Give a copy to everyone for Christmas.

HOMEMADE CANDLES

Keep in mind that wax is flammable and can ignite at approximately 400 degrees. Adult supervision of children is necessary when making candles.

Materials
Paraffin wax for as many candles as you intend to make (This depends on the size of your molds.)
Tapered candles (or string) for wicks
Crayons for color (optional)
Double boiler pan
A clean can
Crushed ice (optional)
Wooden stick or spoon
Containers of various sizes and shapes (preferably discarded milk or cottage cheese carton, especially those coated with wax; or you can use glass containers)
Wooden stick or ruler

Directions
Put at least 2 inches of water in the bottom of the double boiler. Break or cut the paraffin wax into small pieces and place the pieces in a clean can. (You can also use the top of the double boiler if you want to take the time afterward to clean out the wax.) Put the can directly into the water in the bottom of the double boiler. For safety reasons, warm on low heat.

If you want a colored candle, cut a colored crayon into pieces and add it to the melted wax. Stir well for an even color.

Cut the tapered candle on the bottom (wide) end so that it is the same height as the mold. Anchor the taper by pouring at least ½ inch of melted wax into the bottom of the mold. Hold the taper in place a few minutes until the wax has set. If you are not using ice, fill the mold to the top with melted wax.

If you want to use string for the wick, you must attach a weight to the string to anchor it in place when you add the hot wax. To do this, tie a small decorative rock (or a clean rock from outside) to one end to the string and center the rock in the bottom of the mold.

Using masking tape, secure a stick or a wooden ruler across the top of the mold. Tie the other end of the string to the ruler. Make sure the rock and the string are centered properly before you add the melted wax. If using ice, at this point you should only add 1 inch of melted wax to the bottom of the mold to hold the rock in place. If you are not using ice, fill the mold to the top with melted wax.

If you want your candle to have a lacy appearance, you can add crushed ice to the melted wax. (Note: This will not work with glass molds because the water from the melted ice won't be able to drain from the hardened candle.) Here's how:

Once your taper (or wick) is anchored into the wax, carefully place a layer of crushed ice (or small ice cubes, depending on the desired appearance) around the taper. Add melted wax until the ice is almost completely covered. Add more ice and more wax, more ice and more wax, alternating between the two until the mold is full. You may want to experiment by remelting the wax until the desired appearance is achieved.

Because the mold will leak water as the wax cools, you will need to place it in a bowl or a pan and let it sit until the wax has hardened completely. Remove the mold by carefully tearing or peeling it off the candle. You can add decorations such as glitter, beads, or sequins to your candle, but you can't light it if you do this.

*Excerpted from Discovering the Magic of Christmas: 75 Ways to Make Your Holiday More Meaningful; Cedar Fort

Ten Gifts Under $10

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:01:00 -0700

source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: A list of ten holiday gifts that are a steal!

Wall Calendar for 12x12 scrapbook pages-blank

A fun calendar for any scrapbooker to create and share memories. The calendar grids have plenty of space for reminders and scheduling. With this calendar each page is unique and each month brings different memories.

$9.99 barnesandnoble.com      

Scrabble Slam!
A fun game you can take on the road or one for game night with the neighbors. This will make you think fast and challenge language as you know it. It is small enough for purse or bag.

$6.99 hasbro.com    

Cell Phone Holder
Your cell phone needs charging, but there are no outlets next to a desk or table. This holder will allow you to wrap your cords and charge your phone without it dangling or pulling off the wall.

$5.95 vat19.com    

Magnetic Animal Bookmarks
For the young book reader who loves animals, these farm animals will help keep their reading spot. The animals mouths will open and with a magnetic clasp close in place. Choose a chicken, pig or cow to mark their page.

$6.95 vat19.com    

Joyce bud vases-set of three
A table topper, a holiday decor or a flower display, these vases can mix and match up any day. Add colored water or rocks in each vase with your flowers and discover that the combinations are endless.

$8.85 cb2.com  

Crayola Glow Explosion Markers and Paper
Another new dimension to color and markers, glow-in-the-dark art. An activity for older children, these markers will make drawing fun. Create, design and watch it glow.

$9.04 target.com      

Crayon Rocks
Made from natural soy wax, these crayon rocks do more than color. The design of the rock helps strengthen tripod grip muscles and prepare small fingers for handwriting. Fun for the adventurous kid, who may color outside the lines.  

$7.50 thespoonsisters.com      

Great Ideas Napkin Sketchbook
Everyone knows that the best ideas are conceived on restaurant napkins. So, it follows that if you sketch out all of your ideas on napkins they should all be great, right?

$5.99 perpetualkid.com      

Streamlight 73001 nano light
An extremely small and bright light, this nano light is perfect for work, home, school, car or home. Less than two inches long, this flashlight will store on pockets, backpacks and on purses.  

$3.49-$9.10 amazon.com    

The Chef Set - Page Flags to identify recipes
So much more appetizing than torn pieces of paper to identify all those recipes you want to try, just peel off the flag and stick to the recipe page. Flags cover the entire meal: Appetizers, Meats, Seafood, Vegetables and Desserts.

$6.45 thespoonsisters.com     

Nerf N Strike Nite Finder EX-3 Blaster
With the red light beam and your target, you are set up for target night blasting. This Nerf blaster will fire up to 15 feet away. Blaster comes with three Micro Darts.  

$8.99 toysrus.com

*For more simple Christmas gift ideas, click here.

Day 3: Send a Holiday Greeting, For Free!

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 00:05:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Welcome to the third day of our 12 days of Christmas. (For all other days, click here.) Today, check out these FREE Christmas cards, e-cards, gift tags, and more! Make sure to read our poll and tell us how you handle the Christmas card tradition. Here's one less thing you'll have to spend money on this holiday season--your annual, family Christmas card. Try one of these fresh, modern, or vintage Christmas cards for free!

E-Cards

The famous "Elf Yourself": click here.
Funny E-cards featuring you (like Elf Yourself): click here.
Vintage Christmas postcards: click here.
General holiday E-cards: click here.

Printable Christmas Cards and Invitations

Hand-drawn Christmas card: click here.
Modern Christmas invitations: click here.
Modern and festive card set (card, envelope, labels): click here.
A quirky Christmas card set: click here.
General Christmas cards: click here.

Card Display

There’s never enough room for all the holiday cards on your fridge, and arranging them on the mantel is, well, boring. Be a little different this year and show off those beautiful holiday cards in a whole new way! click here.

Christmas Card 101

Here's a humorous article on Christmas card etiquette, the do's and dont's, and everything you could possible know about this dreaded Christmas "chore." click here.

Creative Card Displays

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 00:01:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Show off your holiday cards in a whole new way! There’s never enough room for all the holiday cards on your fridge, and arranging them on the mantel is, well, boring. Be a little different this year and show off those beautiful holiday cards in a whole new way!

Purchase a small Christmas tree and attach your cards on it with ribbon. If you prefer a more rustic look, clip leafless branches from your trees (about three feet long), arrange them in a pretty vase, and hang the cards from the branches.
Wrap a garland around your banister (if you have a two-story house), punch holes in the top left corner of your cards, and tie them onto the garland with ribbon.
Display them under a glass tabletop.
Find an oversized frame and use it to frame a large piece of corkboard. Pin your cards inside the frame as they come. You can either arrange them methodically or make a more artistic collage.
Hang two large pretty ribbons from the ceiling, framing a doorway or an alcove. Place a large bow at the top, then staple or pin your cards to the ribbon.

Day 1: Get Organized

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 00:05:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Welcome to the first day of our 12 days of Christmas! Over the next several days, we'll give you some fun ideas for getting into the Christmas spirit. And don't forget to participate in our daily discussions! Today, use these holiday organizing tips to help you stay ahead of the curve this season. Christmas. The season of giving. The season of love, charity, and peace. But frantic, last-minute preparation can make for a less-than-divine experience. Here’s how you can have less stress and more serenity during the most wonderful time of the year.

Create a Christmas Binder

Create a Christmas binder, preferably one that will fit into your purse (or briefcase--thanks, writerbob) so you can carry it with you at all times, to store all your gift ideas, coupons, travel itineraries, lists of presents you have bought, presents you still need to buy, and presents that have been ordered. (If you have curious children at home, you may also want to consider keeping a list of where you have hidden gifts throughout the house, and how many of which type of batteries you will need for those gifts.) Include an envelope in your binder where you can store your receipts.

This is also the place to keep recipes for the food you want to make and the instructions for holiday craft projects so you always know exactly what you need. Include a calendar where you can keep track of parties, concerts, service projects, and other festivities. (Be sure to block out time for things like shopping and party preparation, as well as some time for a little rest and relaxation. And keep in mind that the more notice you give, the more likely people will be able to attend your party.)

Set Goals

What are your goals this holiday season? A few cozy gatherings to connect with friends and family? Meaningful service opportunities? With so many great holiday ideas floating around, it’s easy to get distracted, so decide what you want most, and stay focused. Ask your family what they remember about last Christmas—what traditions they most want to keep, what you did in past years they most enjoyed, and what you should not try again! Were there any holiday disasters last year? Make note of them and take steps to avoid them.

Set Deadlines

Deadlines are an important part of accomplishing any goal, and holiday tasks are no exception. Simply determine which tasks need to be accomplished the soonest, and set your deadlines accordingly. For example, will you need a babysitter in the near future? Book her well ahead of time so another neighbor doesn’t snap her up for the same night. And plan to mail packages as quickly as possible. That way, gifts to far-away friends and family will arrive on time, and they won’t be cluttering up your house.

Budget

The stress and guilt of overspending can dampen holiday spirits in a hurry. Decide how much you can spend this season, and allot sufficient amounts to the appropriate categories, such as:

Gifts and gift wrap
Travel (gas, hotel, airplane tickets, and meals)
Decorations and tree
Family activities  
Parties  
Christmas meals
Holiday baking
Postage for Christmas cards
Shipping costs for gifts

After making your best estimates, add another 20 percent to what you’ve planned for. If you’re over budget, decide what is most important to you and start cutting everywhere else. To help stick to the budget, use cash for everything. For tips on staying out of debt during the holidays, click here.

More on page 2 >>

Take Inventory

Do you have enough wrapping paper? Ribbons? Gift tags? Christmas cards and stamps? Do you need to replace any decorations? Do you have enough serving platters for the big Christmas party you’re hosting?

What about all the food you’ll be cooking in the next few weeks? Create a list of the things you usually make, or things you would like to make, and then take an inventory of your pantry, fridge, and freezer.

Cook It Forward

Do you have things for quick dinners on the go? If you’re up to it, go ahead and freeze some doubles when you have time. You know they’ll come in handy on busy December nights.
You may also want to consider preparing that special Christmas dinner ahead of time and freezing it. For LDS Living’s delicious make-ahead menu, complete with turkey, side dishes, rolls, and desserts to serve 12 people, click here.

Set up a Wrapping Station

Find a nook or cranny with a little bit of privacy and storage space—it might be a walk-in closet, a corner of the basement, or even the laundry room. Gather all of your wrapping materials there: paper, bows, tape, scissors, bags, and ribbon. Try to wrap gifts the same day you purchase them, or set aside time for weekly wrapping sessions. That way, you won’t be feverishly wrapping presents until 2 a.m. on Christmas Eve.

Prep for Guests

Schedule a few hours for a cleaning session the day before guests arrive. Organize linens (sheets, towels, washcloths). Make sure you have supplies to accommodate any special needs, such as a gluten-free diet. By checking with guests ahead of time, you’re less likely to be taken by surprise. (“Oh, I thought you knew we were bringing our two dogs.”)

Involve Others

It’s easy to try to do everything yourself so it is done just the way you’d like. But involving family members and delegating responsibilities can make holiday planning a fun family activity that teaches kids how to organize and how to be a good host or hostess. Let them help decorate for a party, help with the cooking, or help deliver neighbor gifts. Assign your husband to make a trip to the post office.

Think Outside the Box

Look at your planning carefully and consider what could be moved. What would happen if you sent a Happy New Year letter instead of a Christmas card? Is the week before Christmas really the best time to have a party? What if you had an “after Christmas” party instead? That way you wouldn’t be competing with everyone else’s festivities. You could even hold a potluck dinner where everyone brings holiday leftovers.

Organize for Next Year

After the holidays are over and you begin taking down the decorations, look at everything with a discerning eye. Don’t let unwanted or broken ornaments find their way back into the storage bins. If you hate it, give it away. If it’s broken, throw it away. And carefully label boxes so you aren’t digging around for things next year.

Discussion

What's your biggest holiday headache, and what do you do to handle it?

Savvy Christmas Shopping: Cyber Monday

Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:06:00 -0700

by Jamie Cline
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: It’s been said, “Christmas is a race to see which gives out first: your money or your feet.” With computer-enhanced living, we are given the option of shopping online—saving your feet—but does it really save your money? There are a few things to carefully consider before clicking. Cyber Monday

Cyber Monday refers to the Monday following Thanksgiving, a day that many online retailers report a significant increase in sales. (One theory is that people are back at work but are Christmas shopping from their computers, but now there are just as many online deals on Cyber Monday to attract shoppers as there are on Black Friday.) A few simple methods will help you enjoy the perks—access to several shops at once, lower prices, specialty items—over the perils of online shopping.

Do Your Homework

Unlike stores, which we can usually count on to give reliable service, online stores can be tricky. Without a physical location, it can be harder to track down a representative if you have a concern.

Read up on the store before buying. Some online stores are trusted because we are already familiar with them, like amazon.com or overstock.com. But with smaller companies it is better to read reviews and ratings first and make sure there is contact information in case there is a problem with your purchase.

Carefully read return policies. Understanding a store’s return policy can make all the difference in a good shopping experience. The policy should be posted clearly on their website; if you have any questions you should contact the company by e-mail or phone. Check if the store will offer a refund, not just an exchange, for an item that you return. Also, find out if they pay the shipping charges for returns—if this isn’t their policy, think twice about buying something that might need to be exchanged, like clothes.

Exclusive Online Offers

Many shopping websites offer exclusive deals to attract the customers that would otherwise be hitting their local malls. On Thanksgiving night, keep your eyes open for “Night Owl Offers”—the online version of Early Bird Specials that entice you to start shopping even before Black Friday begins. Because online companies don’t have as many overhead costs, they are able to price their items lower than most stores.

By subscribing to a favorite store’s newsletter, you can also receive special previews of sales and extra coupons. If you are looking for coupons for several stores, you might want to look at websites like currentcodes.com. These sites will give you special codes to enter into the website as you make your purchase, codes which can offer anything from discounts on products to free shipping. They also offer online coupons that can sometimes be used online and in stores.

Side by Side

Don’t just fill up your shopping cart with the first “good deal” that you see. One website might offer the item for a lower price but charge a shipping fee, while another might have the same item for more but with free shipping. Some websites provide price comparisons (like shopping.com and shopzilla.com), but make sure you factor in all costs (like service fees and shipping). Also, buying at a company that doesn’t have a physical location in your state means that you avoid paying sales tax and can save 6 to 8 percent!

Escape Daunting Delivery Fees

When shopping online, people often think they’ve found a great deal—until confronted with that final page that tells them the shipping costs. However, during the holidays many companies offer attractive free shipping offers; find out how to qualify. And make sure you know all the products you want from a store before you buy! Especially at stores that have a flat shipping rate, like gap.com, it can be expensive and frustrating to make more than one order.

Pay close attention to shipping policies. Most online stores will tell you the date for the last day to use standard shipping and still have the item arrive before Christmas. If you’ve missed the date, check out our ideas for last-minute shoppers!

*Do you know of any helpful Cyber Monday tips? Leave a comment below.

Prepare Ye, Prepare Ye . . . For the Holidays!

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:02:00 -0600

by Kaela Worthen
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: We are taught in the Doctrine & Covenants “if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.” And as horrible as it is to admit, sometimes big holiday family gatherings inspire fear in the hearts of all of us, for varying reasons. So much cooking to do! Where will we fit everyone? All the mess! Will Aunt Sally and Cousin George resolve their differences or will we all walk on pins and needles? How do I keep that many people entertained? The children will destroy our (fill in the blank with anything nice or expensive you own)!

Preparing for these gatherings in advance will save you a lot of pain and may even garner you some praise. At the very least, your sanity will be preserved and you will be able to do exactly what you’re supposed to do during the holidays—enjoy them.

These tips will help you prepare for the holidays anywhere.

In your heart

These reminders will keep your internal peace that will allow you to survive any chaos that surrounds you during the hectic holiday season.

Take time to reflect. Pause for ten minutes to be still each day. Set the alarm a few minutes early and enjoy the sunrise or a cup of hot chocolate. Ten minutes of peace in the morning will set the tone for the rest of the day, and you’ll be able to carry that with you wherever you are.

Remember the season. Throughout the day, remind yourself of the true reason for the holiday. If it’s Thanksgiving, take time to give thanks for all the blessings you have. Find new ones each day. If it’s Christmas, remember all that Christ did during His life and after His death, and try to find time to focus on the values that matter most.

Write it down. Each day, write down five things that make you happy, that you are grateful for, that made your day better. Post them on your fridge where you can see them easily, or on a computer monitor, a bulletin board, wherever.

Away from the home

There are plusses to not having to worry about your dirty house and all you have to do when you’re gone for the holidays, but more stresses can be added when you realize you’re 1,000 miles from home, it’s Sunday morning, and your children only have dirty t-shirts and blue jeans to wear to church.

Make a list and check it twice. Keep a list of all the things that need to be taken with you on the trip, whether it’s across town or across the country. Begin making the list a week in advance (more or less, depending on the extent of the trip) so that you can add to it as you remember new necessities. Write them down immediately, including everything from batteries for the camera to church shoes. Save the lists so you can make sure everything gets packed home again and you don’t have a midnight crisis involving a crying child and a missing favorite stuffed animal after you return.

Don’t forget the snacks. Long car trips in cramped spaces and shuffling between flights that no longer provide free food can tax anyone’s spirits. In order to keep everyone happy, make sure you bring food along, and make sure it’s healthy. Peanut brittle the neighbors brought over last night may sound like an easy fix, but filling up on junk food will just make everyone feel worse in the end.

Bring entertainment. Our family has survived marathon car trips every year for as long as I can remember, and one thing is key: books on tape/CD/mp3 players, or whatever it is these days.

In your home

All the relatives are in one compact space and their happiness is your responsibility. Your decorating and housekeeping skills are on display. Stressful? I think so.

Delegate, delegate, delegate. No, seriously, delegate. That’s what Moses’ father-in-law told him when he got overwhelmed. And you’re not being held to higher standards than a prophet. Don’t try to do it all. Assign people to bring various dishes, if it’s a one-evening event, or to be in charge of different meals, if it’s a multi-day stay. For the longer gatherings, assign different people to be in charge of an activity each day, and divide up the cleaning as well. It will make your life easier and your family will surely be willing to help.

Cook ahead. Stick to the tried-and-true recipes you know so you don’t have to deal with any surprises, and pick ones that can be at least partially made ahead and put in the freezer. For my family’s week-long holiday gatherings, my aunt would bring all her meat pre-cooked and divided into freezer bags by meal. My mom mixed up her biscuit recipe beforehand so all she had to do was add water. Chop everything a day or two ahead and put it in storage bags in the fridge so it’s easier and quicker to dump together the day of. Slow cookers are another great option.

Anywhere

No matter where you end up for the holidays, follow these rules for everyone’s sanity and satisfaction.

Don’t expect perfection. Things will go wrong. Accidents and awkward moments happen. They are the yeast to the cinnamon roll that is a family reunion. Or at least the raisins and nuts that can only make the cinnamon roll better. Just laugh and move on, and it will become a fun story for future family reunions.

Under-schedule. Let people have time to relax and read a book, take a nap, go on an outing with a smaller group, or take a walk. Between the family home evenings, dinner events and movie nights with A Christmas Story, allow time for spontaneous games of Scrabble and talks between a young niece and an aunt with lots of good boy advice to share.

Give via games. One of the most stressful parts of the holidays can be the gifts. What to get for your mother-in-law who says she doesn’t want anything (but you know will be upset if you get her nothing)? How to avoid the dreaded re-gifting fiasco when you can’t remember who it was that gave you that dreadful gravy pot that clashes with everything you own? Make gift-giving lighthearted this season. Have a fun gag gift, white elephant-style celebration. Draw names and make it a secret Santa event. Or choose to move the gift-giving to more privacy, so there’s not a temptation to see which child can give mom and dad the better, most expensive gift and get a bigger inheritance.

Following these tips will help prepare you for the holidays and allow you to enjoy them without fear. Check out another great holiday prep article, "Enjoyable Holiday Gatherings," here.

How do you make your holiday gatherings (or just the season in general) stress-free? Leave a comment below or share your ideas on our Facebook page.

10 Phrases that Prevent Arguments

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:00:00 -0600

by Claire Thornock Brazelton
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: How many times have you tried to offer someone advice, asked for help, or simply began a friendly conversation, only to have the interaction turn into an argument neither of you anticipated? Here are ten phrases to help keep everyone comfortable. Many contentions between family, friends, and coworkers occur because of a little-understood aspect of social IQ: using language that prevents conflicts. By watching what you say and approaching a conversation at a different angle, you have the power to keep the peace between yourself and those you interact with every day.

Elizabeth Fawcett, a family therapist and a professor of marriage enhancement at Brigham Young University, says that lack of positive or nice communication is one of the reasons contentions arise in marriage and in general. "I have talked to many married couples who feel that their spouse's heart is really in the right place when they talk, but they are saying things to them in a way that is hurtful," she says.

Speaking in an offensive way, Fawcett believes, is a key trigger that brings contention into a conversation, which causes listening on either side to decrease and communication to come to a halt. "If you speak in an offensive way, it makes the other person defensive. . . . They perceive that they are under attack and then proceed to shut down," she says. "When we find ourselves in that mode, we are not capable of hearing what is being said."

Fawcett believes that good communication is a reflection of the receiver. "It's not what we say that makes good communication, it's what we are hearing from the things that are said to us, and if we can't understand what is being said, that is when the problem occurs."

To help conversations avoid the evolution to argument, Fawcett suggests using these phrases the next time you are the sender or receiver in a discussion. You might be surprised how these phrases keep the peace and harmony between you and your spouse, friends, or colleagues.

1. "This is what I am hearing you say; is it what you are trying to tell me?" When you feel that you don't fully understand what is being said, repeat back in your words what you think the other person is saying. Stating things the way you are hearing them allows the speaker to rethink what he or she is saying and put it in different words that make it easier for you to understand.

2. "I have an opinion about this; are you interested in hearing it?" When listening to a spouse's or friend's problems, you may want to give your opinion on the situation. Always ask first if it is wanted. Half the time, people just want to vent, and if you interrupt and try to fix something, it may cause contention. By asking, it shows that you are really trying to help the situation. This phrase works especially well with children and teenagers.

3. "Let's just put that book on the shelf for now." Subjects discussed over and over again between spouses or colleagues can often cause tempers to flare. Setting the subject aside for a time allows nerves to calm and the conversation to stay positive. This phrase can be helpful for keeping the peace until a time when both sides can come back to the conversation ready to speak calmly about it.

4. "I need some help. Would you be willing to help me?" Some arguments start because family members or coworkers don't carry their share of responsibility. Instead of accusing the person of being lazy and rude, be assertive and ask for help - and be specific. "I need your help. If you wash the dishes, I will load them in the dishwasher." Say it in a friendly way, and don't be overly demanding.

5. "I am not trying to bring up any problems from the past, but . . . " It's hard to keep the peace between you and a spouse if you are constantly bringing up faults from the past. Don't bring them up unless you absolutely have to. Reassure your spouse, if you must talk about it, that you are not trying to rehash past injuries, but that this topic is important to you, and you feel you should discuss it.

6. "I need to talk. When is a good time for you?" Whenever you want the full attention of someone while you're speaking, scheduling a time to talk is often the best option. Between spouses, it's best to choose a time other than when your husband is watching the big game or your wife is on the phone with a friend. Finding time that fits both of your schedules allows for a more meaningful conversation and the avoidance of an argument. Your boss or coworkers will also appreciate this phrase.

7. "I am sorry you are upset." Oftentimes if friends or family don't take the advice you gave them, they still come back to complain about their situation. Instead of saying "I told you so," try to understand why your advice wasn't taken and really listen to the problem. By making a rude remark and rubbing in that your advice was best, you may start an argument, or worse, lose the trust of that person.

8. "I think you already know my opinion about this, but I can listen." If a friend always finds herself in the same problem and you have already given her your opinion multiple times, set a clear boundary. Tell her that you are willing to listen to the problem, but that she already knows your opinion; tell her if she hasn't liked your opinion so far, you might not be the right person to get advice from on this issue.

9. "Well, I have a different opinion about this subject, but thanks for yours." Most contention occurs because two people disagree. The goal in this situation is to be polite and end the conversation. Find a balance between the "me and you" factor in the conversation, and admit to having a different opinion but thank someone for theirs.

10. "I agree to disagree, and let's leave it at that." If you know that you are never going to see eye to eye with someone about a specific topic during a conversation, just agree to disagree and let the conversation end. It's not worth the time or energy to contend with someone about something when you know neither of you is going to change your mind about it.

Communication is perhaps the most vital element in any relationship. "The most important thing [in avoiding] arguments in communication is to slow down the process, try to hear what someone is saying, and express how we truly feel," Fawcett says. Making the effort to improve communication and prevent contention can allow us to see the other person more clearly and respect their opinions and individuality.

Coming Up Weeds

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 18:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living Staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Ah, weeding. The favorite Saturday pastime of adults and children alike. Many of us can recall fond childhood memories of hot summer days spent pulling, prying, even putting our whole weight behind those stubborn pests. Truly, weeding is one memory that the years can't romanticize. Isn't there an easier way to get it done? Well, yes.

Wet the soil. It's an old tip, but it's an important one, especially when your beds have been baking in the hot summer sun. For best results, water the area thoroughly and allow it to sit for at least 10 minutes.

Break out the tools. A weeding tool, which has a forked tip, is best used for tougher weeds. To use it, push it into the soil and lever the forked end against the stalk and roots. For young, shallow weeds, simply rake over the area and allow the weeds to die, then pluck them out. You can also ensure weeds stay shallow by gently stirring the soil's surface, thus uprooting newly developing weeds.

Lay black plastic or garden weed cloth. This works best in areas overrun with weeds. With time, the heat will kill the weeds, making them easier to pull and lessening their impact on the garden. Be prepared for this method to take some time (maybe up to a whole season).

Weed out seedlings. The proverbial "One year's seeding makes seven years weeding" is true. After you've cleaned up your beds, make sure to stay on top of the weed situation. Get rid of weeds when they are small and before they go to seed, and you'll avoid marathon weeding sessions in the future.

One final tip: Never lay a pulled weed on unprotected ground; the seeds could spread. Either stick the weeds directly in the garbage, or lay them on a surface covered with plastic or newspaper.

Winterizing Plants

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by LDS Living Staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Don't forget your plants as you make preparations for winter!

You take special steps to get your house, car, and kids ready for the winter, but what about your plants? When you start to reach for your jacket, make sure you take the following steps to help your green beauties:

Get rid of your annual plants (flowers, herbs, veggies) right away. Also, trim your perennials back to just above the soil. This will keep insects and disease away during the winter.
Non-hearty bulbs such as dahlias and gladiolas should be removed from the ground. Dry them, then store in a cool, dry place until spring.
After getting rid of any weeds or dead leaves, buy some tough compost and spread it over your beds to keep them protected from winter's unpredictable temperatures.
Put your potted plants in an unheated garage or shed - pots frequently crack in freezing weather. If your pots are too heavy to move, you can insulate them by wrapping them in bubble-wrap and covering the soil in compost.
Once your plants are settled, take the time to clean, oil, and sharpen your garden tools - it will make them much more pleasant to pull out in the spring.
Unhook and drain your garden hoses, then keep them indoors. This will lengthen their lifetime, and you can spend those extra bucks on new flowers next spring!