Mormon Life - Motherhood tag

American Mothers, Inc. chooses state representatives

Wed, 23 May 2012 12:29:00 -0600

source: ldschurchnews.com

Mormon Life says: Several representatives are LDS. Each year the American Mothers, Inc., a non-profit organization established in 1935, recognizes two representatives — a Young Mother of the Year and a Mother of the Year — from each U.S. state and territory. A national convention is held each spring to honor the representatives from each state. Among those representatives are some members of the Church.

Bobbie Jager, LDS mother of 13 children, named Oregon Mother of the Year

Wed, 23 May 2012 11:32:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Bobbie Jager wanted to have 14 children ever since she was a little girl. Her husband, Mike, says that if you count him, she's made it.

Jager, of Sheridan, who was named the Oregon Mother of the Year last February, has 13 children from ages 10 to 33.

Her parents weren’t able to have children, and she was adopted along with her brother. Describing her family situation growing up as "boring" at times, Jager always wanted to be around people — baby-sitting big families when possible and hoping to someday have children of her own.

Stay-at-home mothers find challenge, reward in raising their children

Tue, 22 May 2012 09:55:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

When she turned in a job application, Nichole Whiting always knew what the job entailed. The exception is her current position: Stay-at-home mom, which many feel isn't work at all. It has been, she said, the most rewarding and challenging of positions.

The New York City woman has come to view being a mom as a profession. She looks at her day and its productivity and output, what she accomplished and what her goals are, both short-term and long-term. Like any job she's ever thrived in, it requires networking, sharpening all her skills, doing research. And her college degree and previous jobs all help her in her efforts to be the best mom she can and to help her children mature and thrive.

Relating to Your Son or Daughter Experiencing Same-gender Attraction: Advice to Parents

Tue, 22 May 2012 00:02:00 -0600

by M. Catherine Thomas
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: In conjunction with today's featured article, "Our Story: Living with Same-sex Attraction" by Ty and Danielle Mansfield (click here to read), we offer this excerpt specifically for LDS parents of children who experience homosexual feelings.

The following is an excerpt from Voices of Hope: Latter-day Saint Perspectives on Same-Gender Attraction, taken from the chapter “Perspectives for Parents.” Click here to learn more.

Listening

As we look to our child, we may find it possible to identify some ways in which we have unwittingly made life more difficult for our child; and then we may consider offering a detailed apology. This is self-care as well as child care because our spirit knows when we have not measured up in a relationship; to heal ourselves, we have to come clean in the relationship. During this apology we will not mention the child’s failings, only our own. We will humbly ask forgiveness and ask how we can be more helpful. We will listen undefensively, as dispassionately as we can. Healing communication can then begin. Then, in addition to much listening, we may be able to share with our child, as time goes on, some points of view that can reassure both our child and us.

Shame and Guilt

Our child will likely be suffering from shame and feelings of unworthiness, even if he has not chosen to express his same-gender attraction sexually. He may have felt directly or indirectly the negativity, sometimes amounting to hatred and vitriol, being poured out, even by some members of the Church, on people dealing with same-gender attraction. His feelings of shame will interfere with his ability to draw close to the Lord for comfort.

Following are responses that two people have had as they have confronted both shame and guilt over their same-gender feelings and the issue of sex. A young LDS woman in her thirties who has just begun coming to terms, after a fifteen-year struggle, with her feelings of attraction for other women, and is wondering what this means for her, wrote me the following about her perception that, at their inception, same-gender feelings do not seem intrinsically sexual.

“It’s not about sex. Other people think that those who might be/are gay are struggling with immoral thoughts/feelings and behaviors. But what you will hear across the board is that the first feeling is that ‘I am different.’ As other teenagers or young adults start to explore with giddiness their crushes and dreamy thoughts of an ideal future, those with same-gender attraction start to try to figure out what is wrong with them. I think THIS is the battlefront.

“They begin to feel shame over their nonsexualized attraction to the same gender, where heterosexuals are encouraged in that attraction, understood, given boundaries to work within, etc. Ultimately, heterosexuals can find legitimate physical/sexual expression for that attraction, but many same-gender-attracted people freeze in that shame—never drifting to immoral thoughts/feelings/behavior, but having no route, or reroute, for that part of themselves—and begin to internalize this struggle.”

Another LDS young man who deals with this challenge wrote similarly:

“The shame is a huge problem. . . . I had similar feelings of being ‘different’ when I was younger, and while I occasionally fantasized about being physically close with other boys, I don’t recall it ever feeling sexual until well into high school—and even then I was so afraid of those feelings that I never allowed myself to acknowledge them. More often than not, I just wanted to feel close to other guys, or I would allow myself to overfocus on qualities in them I felt I lacked, and wanted, in myself.

“I remember once wanting to give my best friend a hug when I saw him, and he looked at me funny and asked if I was gay. That was in fourth grade, I think. All I knew about ‘gay’ was that it was bad, and the shame I felt in that moment led me to tenaciously avoid any behaviors that might be perceived that way. I disowned a lot of parts of my personality, and it’s only been in my adulthood that I’ve been learning to reclaim, reintegrate those parts, and learn to love men in the deep and intimate and healthy ways I only ever wanted anyway.”

Caring for your child would include helping him to let go of shame for the feelings themselves and reassuring him of the Lord’s love. Many people who experience same-gender attraction find that, despite the fact that they are dealing with a set of deeply disconcerting feelings, they can exist in a loving relationship with the Lord in the same system of faith, repentance, and having the Holy Ghost that anyone else can. In this way they are able to embrace a sense of worthiness that allows them to move forward spiritually as they manage these feelings within the bounds the Lord has set.

Elder Holland wrote on making the distinction between feelings and behavior: “While same-gender attraction is real, there must be no physical [sexual or romantic] expression of this attraction. The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone. Such feelings can be powerful, but they are never so strong as to deprive anyone of the freedom to choose worthy conduct. In saying this, let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy.”

Labeling

People tend to behave according to the way they see themselves. Help him to take care with the labels he puts on himself. Lift your child’s sights to a vision of who he really is. Elder Dallin H. Oaks offers this counsel to a parent about what he might say to his child:

“You’re my son. You will always be my son, and I’ll always be there to help you. . . .

“Homosexuality . . . is not a noun that describes a condition. It’s an adjective that describes feelings or behavior. I encourage you, as you struggle with these challenges, not to think of yourself as a ‘something’ or ‘another,’ except that you’re a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and you’re my son, and that you’re struggling with challenges. . . .

“You’ve described a particular kind of challenge that is very vexing. It is common in our society and it has also become politicized. But it’s only one of a host of challenges men and women have to struggle with, and I just encourage you to seek the help of the Savior to resist temptation and to refrain from behavior that would cause you to have to repent or to have your Church membership called into question.”

Shaping a Life

As people dealing with same-gender attraction look at traditional lifestyles, they may not see where they fit in. One young man wrote me: “All of the talks at BYU on dating and marriage, including some in which we were told that if we weren’t dating ‘X’ number of times per week we weren’t magnifying our priesthood, left me feeling especially depressed, broken, and like I was failing God and everyone else around me. It wasn’t until I had a very powerful spiritual witness—in association with Isaiah 56:3–4, actually—that all I needed to do was my best to nurture my relationship with the Lord and to cultivate and follow the Spirit in my life (and whether I married in this life or the next, I was completely accepted of the Lord) that I felt so much of that burden of shame and guilt and depression and failure lift. The love I felt was overwhelming and taught me what my central focus should be. Prior to that, the cultural box I was being shoved into was spiritually and emotionally suffocating.”

Another young man, who chose to serve a mission even while dealing with the challenge of same-gender attraction, describes how he had been mentally and emotionally stuck in choosing the gospel way over the world’s way until he found that he didn’t have to live a traditional life and that, indeed, stereotypes can be ignored:

“I understood, finally, that I was an individual on my own path and that it was impossible to know where that would take me. I did have to make choices along the way, but I wasn’t limited by those stereotypes in my head. And the only thing I had to commit to was the gospel of Jesus Christ. The important distinction was between LDS culture, which isn’t necessarily true, and the fulness of the gospel, which is. When I realized that my path might not look like everyone else’s and that it was really just between the Lord and me, I felt a new confidence. I handed that map over to the Savior and let him navigate—I jumped into the driver’s seat. . . . If we truly trust the Lord, we don’t need to fear the unknown vistas that await us. We can listen to the Spirit and the compass of our hearts and look forward to that day . . . when we realize we have happened onto an answer and that it was the Lord who brought us there. But until then, there’s no reason we shouldn’t roll down the windows and breathe deeply, even if we’re not sure exactly where we are. It’s okay, the Lord does.”

Boundaries

At some point parents are faced with situations in which they wonder what boundary lines might be appropriate because their love for their child versus their sense of right and wrong can create conflict in their minds. Such situations might include whether to attend a marriage or commitment ceremony, or what role a potential partner might play within the family. Elder Oaks was asked: “At what point does showing that love cross the line into inadvertently endorsing behavior? If the son says, ‘Well, if you love me, can I bring my partner to our home to visit? Can we come for holidays?’ How do you balance that against, for example, concern for other children in the home?”

Can a parent’s love cross a line and inadvertently endorse homosexual practice? Elder Oaks responded: “That’s a decision that needs to be made individually by the person responsible, calling upon the Lord for inspiration. I can imagine that in most circumstances the parents would say, ‘Please don’t do that. Don’t put us into that position.’ Surely if there are children in the home who would be influenced by this example, the answer would likely be that. There would also be other factors that would make that the likely answer. . . . There are so many different circumstances, it’s impossible to give one answer that fits all.”

Elder Wickman emphasizes a parent’s need to avoid the pitfall of defending a child’s homosexual lifestyle: “I think it’s important as a parent to avoid a potential trap arising out of one’s anguish over this situation. I refer to a shift from defending the Lord’s way to defending the errant child’s lifestyle, both with him and with others. It really is true the Lord’s way is to love the sinner while condemning the sin. That is to say we continue to open our homes and our hearts and our arms to our children, but that need not be with approval of their lifestyle. Neither does it mean we need to be constantly telling them that their lifestyle is inappropriate. An even bigger error is now to become defensive of the child because that neither helps the child nor helps the parent. That course of action, which experience teaches, is almost certainly to lead both away from the Lord’s way.”

One mother remarks that she has said to her son: “‘I love you and respect your feelings, and I know you will respect mine. Because you were reared in the Church, you know what my standards are.’ He is fine with that because he prides himself on being an honest person.”

Elder Oaks mentioned that different circumstances may require different responses. After fasting and prayer, one set of parents in a home where there were no younger children chose to let the child and his long-term partner make the decision as to whether they would share a bedroom in the family home. The key seems to be Elder Oaks’s statement: “That’s a decision that needs to be made individually by the person responsible, calling upon the Lord for inspiration.”

Click here to read the companion piece, "Our Story: Living with Same-sex Attraction" by Ty and Danielle Mansfield.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus

Mon, 14 May 2012 10:49:00 -0600

source: lds.org

Mormon Life says: One last tribute to Mother's Day (even if it's a day late).

Love Her Mother

Fri, 11 May 2012 07:58:00 -0600

source: lds.org

Mormon Life says: You might need a tissue for this beautiful Mormon Messages video.

Favorite Primary songs about Mom have long history

Thu, 10 May 2012 13:13:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Sunday is Mother’s Day, and in most wards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a chorus of Primary children will sing to honor mothers in sacrament meeting.

Diane Maciel, the Primary music director in a Spanish Fork, Utah, ward, let the children in her Primary choose which song from the “Children’s Songbook” they wanted to sing. After singing through several with the children, Maciel said “I Often Go Walking” and “Mother, Tell Me the Story” came out on top.

These and at least five other songs found in the LDS “Children’s Songbook” have been sung on Mother’s Day for many years. Here are some things you might not know about those songs.

Mom, all flowers remind me of you

Thu, 10 May 2012 08:58:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Not long ago my 4-year-old daughter came running inside with an infinitesimal first blossom of the season. In her chubby fingers, she delicately protected a thread-size stem bearing three tiny white petals presumably from some noxious weed.

“A flower for you mommy!” she exclaimed.

I stopped everything to admire her treasure and carefully placed it in my collection of her daily gifts of colorful rocks, “beautiful” wood chips and dried autumn leaves.

All winter long when I pick her up from preschool, she exuberantly empties her pocket to offer another uniquely designed wood chip from the playground symbolizing her thoughts of me while we’re apart for two hours.

{Lifestyle} Mother's Day Gift Ideas

Thu, 10 May 2012 00:09:00 -0600

by Ashley Evanson
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: You still have three days to buy or make your mother a gift--don't forget!

Every year I'm in a panic Saturday night before Mother's Day because I've procastinated getting her a present yet again. This year I'm thinking about it three days ahead of time--a new record! I usually like to combine a store-bought gift with something homemade or a type of service. I found these beautiful items and clever ideas that would make great Mother's Day presents and thought I'd share. What do you like to get your mom?

Photo from Anthropologie

Farmer's Market Baskets, $14

Photo from Deseret Book

Life Lessons from Mothers of Faith, $23.99

Photo from Amazon.com

Skirted Cake Stand, $25.96

Photo from Laura Winslow Photography

Printable Mom Survery

Photo from Deseret Book

Forget Me Not, $13.49

Photo from How About Orange

DIY Bunting Flag Card (of course, minus "Happy Birthday")

Photo from Deseret Book

Marble Christus Statue, $59.99

Photo from House of Earnest

DIY Painted Wooden Spoons

Photo from Make and Takes

Bookmark for Mom

Photo from The 36th Avenue

DIY Cupcake Kit (plus 24 more DIY crafts)

{Poll} Mother's Day vs. Father's Day

Thu, 10 May 2012 00:03:00 -0600

by Kate Ensign-Lewis
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Mothers and fathers are equally important in a child's life. How do the days in which we honor them compare?

Sunday will be my first real Mother's Day. Last year on that day, I was unhappily sitting in church, very pregnant, one day overdue with my son. Why couldn't he have arrived in time for Mother's Day? I thought. (Obviously the wound is still fresh.) But I digress.

More than anything, I've been looking forward to the simple joy of holding my own child on that day for quite some time. But even before I was really a mother, I had been honored along with other women in my past wards for being a future mother. I've seen flowers, heard songs, and eaten chocolate (no complaints there). Occasionally the men of the ward have taken over the women's non-Relief Society Sunday callings so those women could attend Relief Society.

On the other hand, I vaguely remember that Father's Day has been celebrated in these wards, though I honestly can't remember if my dad or my husband received any small gifts. However, growing up, my dad got just as much attention as my mom did on her day (with perhaps slightly fewer presents).

What's been your experience? How have the two days compared in your life, and do they get a different amount of attention?

Mother's Day Tribute - "She Put the Music in Me" by Calee Reed

Wed, 09 May 2012 11:41:00 -0600

source: youtube.com

Mormon Life says: Beautiful video. Grab a tissue. Hooray for good women and mothers!

Primary general president reflects on her mother

Wed, 09 May 2012 10:02:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Editor's note: The following is an excerpt from the book "Life Lessons from Mothers of Faith," published by Covenant Communications.

The kitchen table was the spiritual center of my mother’s home, and when our family surrounded it, we drew from our mother’s faith. My mother, Mary Cannon Mix, did not preach to us. She simply lived her life so we could be taught. She did not demand our presence. Her warmth was an invitation. Her service to our family was not a burden — it was the air she breathed. She was and is not perfect. She is real.

How do I know this? I observed her while I was growing up, and I still observe her today in her 92nd year. Much of the time with my mother was spent within the walls of our family home. It is a humble home, but to her it is a castle, because it can compare to the sacredness of the temple. Each member of our family feels it when we walk through the front door. The Spirit draws us to her, and then we gather at the kitchen table.

2012 LDS Primary Mother's Day Gift Idea

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 11:09:00 -0600

source: sofiasprimaryideas.blogspot.com

This is an activity for primary children to do with their "special lady". I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I don't think kids should ever feel bad on mother's day if they don't have a mother.

Book excerpt: Ann Romney: A mother first

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:53:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Editor's note: The following is an excerpt from the book "Life Lessons from Mothers of Faith," published by Covenant Communications. Previous published excerpts from this book came from Jimmer Fredette and Kyle Whittingham.

My mother, Ann Davies Romney, attended Kingswood School in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. It was an all-girls high school and was sister schools with Cranbrook, the boys school my father attended. They grew up just miles apart, attended the same elementary school and later became high school sweethearts.

After high school, my mom and dad’s relationship blossomed, and they talked of marriage, but they both knew my dad would soon be leaving on a mission. When my dad was called to Paris, France, he encouraged her to wait for him. Although not a member of the church, my mom attended BYU, and on her own accord sought out the missionaries and subsequently joined the church.

Is it open season on Mormonism?

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 10:14:00 -0600

source: washingtonpost.com

Mormon Life says: It seems journalists have a moral dilemma when it comes to covering the LDS Church: to remain unbiased, or to portray it as "weird" for the sensational effect? The BuzzFeed piece is misleadingly titled,”Why Ann stayed home.” In fact the reporter, McKay Coppins (who has identified himself as a Mormon), reveals nothing about her motivations. That, rather, appears to be the “hook” for a discourse asserting the Mormon faith is discriminatory and oppressive toward women. Ann wasn’t interviewed. The Romney campaign didn’t comment for his report. And the reporter doesn’t indicate he tried to reach either. The piece foreshadows, I fear, of what is to come — effort to portray Mormons as weirdly out of step and unmodern, and by implication, Romney as being unfit for the presidency.

Ann Romney ‘stay-at-home mom’ debate: Mormons react

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:50:00 -0600

source: washingtonpost.com

The public dust-up over Ann Romney and stay-home mothers played out in a particular way in Romney’s own community of Mormon women, who are twice as likely to be housewives as non-Mormons.

Mormon culture and preaching is strongly protective of distinct gender roles, with church members more likely than Americans of any other faith group to say it’s better for women to stay home and men to work outside the house.

A Time and Season for Family History

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:25:00 -0600

source: mormonmomma.com

Before I had children, I spent a lot of time working on my family history. I also served for many years in the Family History Center (now called FamilySearch Center) and as a Family History Consultant. I had this marvelous vision of families doing family history research together, and met with church members many times teaching them how to do it together—how to use this great work to strengthen and teach their families.

LDS women's group enjoys spiritual expression through dance

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:03:00 -0600

source: standard.net

Mormon Life says: What a lovely dance group. I really like the idea behind it. Members of the Diamond Dance Company have a hard time pinning down exactly what they love most about their group.

They love being able to use the talent they spent their youth developing. They love being able to inspire other women, and they love the strength they gain from each other and their audience.

“It’s a way to utilize my talents through song, dance and sharing testimony. It’s a missionary tool. I try not to take for granted what a unique opportunity it is,” Jessa Layton, of North Salt Lake, said.

Virginia Mormon woman recognized for service as state Mother of the Year

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:41:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Sharlet Rowley Bouchelle was commended by the General Assembly of Virginia for her service as Virginia Mother of the Year on March 9. Bouchelle, from Buena Vista, Va., has been serving in that capacity for the past year.

Bouchelle and her family are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and attend the Rockbridge Ward, Buena Vista Virginia Stake. She is currently serving as the stake Relief Society president. Bouchelle is the wife of Joe Bouchelle and the mother of four children. Their eldest son, Joseph, is currently serving in the California Roseville Mission.

Mormon Life - Motherhood tag

American Mothers, Inc. chooses state representatives

Bobbie Jager, LDS mother of 13 children, named Oregon Mother of the Year

Stay-at-home mothers find challenge, reward in raising their children

Relating to Your Son or Daughter Experiencing Same-gender Attraction: Advice to Parents

Mary, the Mother of Jesus

Love Her Mother

Favorite Primary songs about Mom have long history

Mom, all flowers remind me of you

{Lifestyle} Mother's Day Gift Ideas

{Poll} Mother's Day vs. Father's Day

Mother's Day Tribute - "She Put the Music in Me" by Calee Reed

Primary general president reflects on her mother

2012 LDS Primary Mother's Day Gift Idea

Book excerpt: Ann Romney: A mother first

Is it open season on Mormonism?

Ann Romney ‘stay-at-home mom’ debate: Mormons react

A Time and Season for Family History

LDS women's group enjoys spiritual expression through dance

Virginia Mormon woman recognized for service as state Mother of the Year

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