Mormon Life - LDS How-to tag

{LDS How-to} Use LDS Employment Services

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:03:00 -0600

by Alexa Justesen
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Unemployment can be stressful and scary, but the Church has provided some great resources to find work quickly.

Whether you’ve just graduated from college and are looking for a job, or the economic downturn got the best of you, most of us will have to worry about unemployment at some point in time. Below is a quick guide for using LDS Employment Resource Services to help you get back on your feet by making a great impression in the job market.

The first step is to go to the LDS Employment Resource Services website at ldsjobs.org and create a free online account. This will allow you to upload a resume and find job listings based on your location. Employers will also be able to find your information.

Next, browse the website for job advice (which it is chock-full of), such as how to build a resume, dress for an interview, or network successfully. The website covers lots of information and is easy to use. You can even sign up to receive regular e-mails full of tips and success stories.

But what if you want some face-to-face counseling or resume-building help? Luckily, you can also set up a one-on-one advisement meeting at your local Employment Center with a career adviser. Employment Centers are located all over the world, generally in LDS meetinghouses. Full-time senior couple missionaries or part-time service missionaries are called specifically to help the unemployed find work. These meetings are especially successful because the career advisers can tailor the job search to you and your skills. They will also keep you updated on any career fairs, workshops, or meetings going on in your area.

With all of this information available, LDS Employment Resource Services maintains that there are a few things anyone can and should do when it comes to searching for a new job, whether you use their help or not:

• Build a network. Start with one person who knows and understands your career interests. Ask them to introduce you to others in your field of interest, and build a network from there. Success stories usually start from beginning a network.

• Create a power statement. In an interview, the employer wants to know why they should choose you over the other guy sitting in the lobby with his resume in hand. So tell them! A lot of people fear that they will sound like they are bragging if they talk about themselves too much in an interview, but that’s exactly what the prospective employer wants to hear. Create a strong statement about yourself, your accomplishments, and why you think you would be a great fit for the position. Don’t hold back during your interview.

• Find someone to look over your resume and cover letter. Make sure your materials are grammatically correct, and that you have included necessary information. Some employers base their judgments on resumes more than interviews, so you want yours to look as professional and informative as possible.

• Invest in an interview outfit. It’s called a “power suit” for a reason. If you saw two men or two women walking down the street, one dressed casually, the other in a sharp suit and shined shoes, who would get your positive attention first? We know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but in the case of a job interview, that book cover is the first thing the employer sees. Wear your new duds with confidence.

• Take a career test. LDS Employment encourages everyone without a job, regardless of whether you quit, were let go, or are a recent graduate to take a career test before starting the application process. The test helps you scope out your talents and abilities,and might even help you discover that your interests have changed, prompting you to look for completely different employment. You can take a career test by meeting with an LDS Employment Specialist.

No matter where you are on the job hunt, utilizing resources that are available to you will only increase your chances of finding long-term employment. With a little patience, a lot of effort, and with the help of LDS Employment Resource Services, finding a job will be that much easier.

{LDS How-to} Start Writing Your Life Story Now

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 00:19:00 -0700

by Sunny Morton
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Does the daunting thought of writing your life story overwhelm your desire to record it? Take a deep breath. The project is entirely doable if you start with a few simple steps. Recently my friend Cindy Johnson expressed frustration that she hasn’t recorded her richly-lived life in journals. “Now I’ll have to resort to writing my memoirs!” she lamented. “I don’t even know where to start.”

Whether you’ve kept regular diaries or not, you may easily find yourself like Cindy—wanting to write your life story but overwhelmed by the prospect. There are so many reasons to write: to share life lessons, relive cherished memories, introduce ourselves to future generations, or acknowledge the hand of the Lord in our lives. But life isn’t just one story. It’s a series of stories about events, people, circumstances, struggles, and growth. Some of these stories unfold simultaneously and some aren’t over yet. Some are painful; some are half-forgotten. We’re not even sure what some of them mean. So where do we start?

Start with What’s Interesting
Some people think they should begin their story-telling with the story of their births. But you don’t remember your own birth, and it’s likely not your most interesting story, anyway. Don’t bore yourself at the outset. Instead, begin with a memory that is:

   ·   interesting or meaningful to you right now;
   ·   clear and vivid; or
   ·   on your mind lately.

The point is to get something on paper without getting stalled by hazy memories, raw emotions, or boredom.

Write a few of these interesting, vivid memories before attempting a full life history. You’ll get your memories flowing and find your story-telling voice. You’ll be drawn into your own story, which will give you the motivation to tell more.

Fill in the Blanks
Don’t forget to give your stories some substance. Do you describe your “characters” (including you)? Do you provide meaningful details: how something smelled or looked, or what you thought of Uncle Merle’s toupee? Who changes in the story, and how and why? (That’s the meaning of the story, which you may not even discover until you write it.)

After you’ve got a few stories under your belt, consider putting them into a logical, readable order. What do you see emerging? A narrative that follows you through every step of life? Several episodes about the most important events? Stories about family relationships or friendships? There’s no rule that says you need to chronicle every part of your life. You might not even want to.

At some point, you may want to fill in some blanks between the tales you’ve told. You may want to create a timeline to organize and prioritize your writing. Consider using a life-story journal like my new book, My Life & Times: A Guided Journal for Collecting Your Stories, which gives you story-telling tips and prompts, and an overall structure for organizing your memories.

Consider Others
A story about your childhood—or teenage or mid-life years—will include the people who shaped it. Do you have the right to share their private pains and joys? Should you describe sibling rivalries, parents’ character flaws, or a spouse’s temper?

Each writer will solve these dilemmas differently. It may be possible to write around someone’s secret that really isn’t ours to share, or doesn’t bear directly on our lives. When someone’s personal life directly affected our lives, we can still consider what we say with compassion for those who might in turn be affected by what we say.

Don’t Forget the Happy Stories
Every life has times worth celebrating. Moments when testimony and character are built, when love and loyalty and faith are rewarded, people show their best selves, or a hard-won goal has been achieved. Moments when we feel the Lord’s grace, or the mercy or kindness of others. These are all worth recording—both for our own sake and the sake of those who might read our stories.

Are happy stories boring? Not if you write them well. Use the same techniques mentioned above: meaningful details, characters with strengths and weaknesses, and honest portrayal of how and why people changed. Include details that build suspense or really show what you were up against. Don’t forget the funny parts. Tell how you felt at the turning point of the story—grateful, humbled, speechless, changed, surprised, moved, confused, angry, blindsided—and why.

Just Do It
Remember, nobody can tell your story like you can. You were there. You know what you felt. Even if you have had the same lifestyle or career pattern as most of the people you know, your experience of these will be unique. Your conversations, moments of clarity, humor, triumphs and trials all have their own special flavor. The way you reacted to a chain of events is always your own story.

So get started. Write something down. Then write something else. One story is better than none; two stories are even better, and so forth. You don’t have to tell your whole life in one sitting. Tell it the same way you lived it—one story at a time.

--
Sunny McClellan Morton is a Latter-day Saint heritage writer and author of My Life & Times: A Guided Journal for Collecting Your Stories. Learn more about her at sunnymorton.com.

{LDS How-to} Jumpstart Your Family History

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:03:00 -0700

by Sunny Morton
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: You’ve finally realized how much you don’t know about your family stories, and you want to learn them. But you’re no genealogist. How can you start capturing your heritage today in a fun and interesting way?

1) Learn at home from:

Your own memories. There’s probably more stored in your memory banks than you think. Start a notebook or computer file in which you record any family stories that come to mind. Fill out as much as you can on a pedigree chart, which shows you several sets of parents at a glance, or on family group sheets, which each show one set of parents and their children. Pray for sharper recall of these stories and facts or opportunities to rediscover them.

Your loved ones’ memories. Ask a relative to help you fill in the blanks on your charts. Contact anyone in the family who has done some genealogy or who has all the clan documents or photos. Gather favorite stories from loved ones. (The next segment of this series will give you detailed tips on how to interview family members.)

Family paperwork. Look for birth, marriage, and death certificates; baby books; family Bibles; funeral and burial paperwork; school and church records; news clippings; old medical or insurance paperwork; legal documents; letters and diaries; books of remembrance or family histories; and photographs. Watch for names, dates, and places but also descriptions of people and their stories.

2) Narrow your focus. Family trees branch rapidly as you move further into the past. How can you choose where to focus your investigation? Ask yourself these questions:

•    Is any relative’s memory or health fading? Capture endangered memories first.
•    What fascinates you? Are you curious about who may have served in a war, immigrated, joined the Church, died in the Spanish flu epidemic? Chase those topics you care about most.
•    What information is most available to you right now? Which people or stories could you document most easily? Pick that low-lying fruit before reaching higher.

Next, decide whether to learn a little bit about many generations or a lot about one person or generation. There are advantages to each. Reaching far into the past helps you identify your ethnic heritage(s), immigrant ancestors, family migration patterns, and more ancestors for whom temple ordinances may be performed. Delving more deeply into a few lives allows you to “get to know” those who have gone before, the better to appreciate their characters, choices and circumstances.

3) Search out more information. Billions of individual records have been extracted from government, church, and other sources and entered into huge databases that you can find online. Go to lds.org's new Family History section and click on "Search Online Records." Stop by a FamilySearch Center near you (click here to find one) to use other popular databases like ancestry.com for free.

When you find a record that appears to relate to your family, consider it carefully. Does the information match what you already have? If not, which source do you trust more? Could this easily belong to a different family of the same surname? Try to view a digital image or track down the original to verify what it says. Ask a FamilySearch Center volunteer for help locating original records. Keep notes on where you find every piece of information.

4) Flesh out the stories. Names, dates, and places can be boring without personalities and stories to bring them to life. Use what you know to learn more. Read old letters or stories carefully: what do they tell you about a relative’s personality, tastes, or attitudes? Take a fact and run with it: if grandpa was a firefighter in Olyphant, Pennsylvania, contact the local historical society or Google the town’s history to see what else you can learn about his fire company.

When personal accounts of ancestors don’t exist, study the culture, town, or era in which they lived. Visit a historic site to get a general sense of their lives. Quote the stories of people like them. Find books or documentaries on everyday life during that time or the experiences of particular ethnic or laborers’ groups. If you are tracing many generations, look at where they lived over a long period of time. See if their migrations match a larger national, regional, or cultural pattern.

5) Share family history meaningfully. Your discoveries will do no good if they sit in a file. Share short snippets in conversations. Type up interviews and write up what your research reveals. (Check out part one of this series, “Write a Family History Others Want to Read,” for more guidelines.) Print heritage books and give them as gifts. At lds.org's Family History section, click on "Getting Started with Family History" to learn how Latter-day Saints can build a family tree online and arrange for temple ordinances to be performed.

Everything you learn about your heritage builds your relationships with relatives, both the living and the dead. After all, these are the folks with whom you hope to spend eternity! So get started today, with little efforts or big ones. Soon you’ll know enough to spot an ancestor, whether you find them now in old records or someday in the halls of heaven.

--
Sunny McClellan Morton is a Latter-day Saint heritage writer and author of My Life & Times: A Guided Journal for Collecting Your Stories. Learn more about her at sunnymorton.com.

{LDS How-to} Write a Family History Worth Reading

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:06:00 -0700

by Sunny Morton
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: This is the first of a four-part series on family history, so keep checking back each week for more great advice!

Some people think they can’t write an interesting family history. “My ancestors were boring,” they say. There’s nothing to tell.” Others find too much drama in the past, and find it painful or embarrassing to record. Still others haven’t taken interest in writing their family stories at all.

The truth is that all family histories are fascinating, and all of us can write them well. It just takes careful research, imagination, and a willingness to add your own voice. Use these five strategies to write a captivating narrative of anyone’s life story.

1. Find stories in the facts. Study names, dates, and places to see what stories they tell you. Was your great-grandmother’s youngest child born five months after his father died? Did your aunt move 600 miles away from home as a teenaged bride?

Study larger facts about your ancestor’s culture, history, religion, occupation, etc. What was life like for that Southern sharecropper or poor Russian immigrant? Get more tips on this kind of research from Bringing Your Family History to Life through Social History by Katherine Scott Sturdevant.

2. Gather living memories. If your family history project covers recent generations, interview your relatives. Ask what were the most important relationships and events in someone’s life and why. Ask for sensory details (What did he look like? How did it smell at the machine shop?). Ask for that person’s opinions or feelings about the way things happened.

The more respect you show for someone else’s memories and opinions, the more interesting stories you are likely to get. Listen closely and ask specific followup questions. Don’t judge or condemn perspectives different from yours. Be willing to depart from your interview questions to listen to what the speaker wants to say. Show compassion for difficult memories or tender feelings.

3. Lead with an interesting story. “Silas Hornsby was born 11 August 1804 inNewport, Rhode Island. . . .” Are you bored yet? I am. When you begin writing your family stories, don’t start with someone’s birth unless it’s a real whopper of a story.

Instead, pretend you have 30 seconds to interest a total stranger in the lives of your great-grandparents (or whomever you’re writing about). What would you tell them? What do you find unique, ironic, amazing, or inspiring about that generation or person? Was there a life event or turning point that you find poignant? Put that first, then go back and tell the rest of that person’s story.

4. Think creatively—while sticking to the facts. Let’s say your great-grandparents lost six of their eight children as infants. You have no proof of how they felt, but you can imagine it. Your imagination can make their story more vivid.

“I can only imagine how they felt each time they buried another tiny body,” you write. “Four died in the winter. It must have been like a repeating nightmare each time they hacked a small grave from the frozen, rocky soil.” The phrases “I can imagine” and “It must have been” show which parts of the story the writer is filling in with imagination.

5. Show yourself. You can put yourself in the story even if you’re writing about ancestors who lived hundreds of years ago. Your thoughts and emotions can substitute for theirs, which may be lost to time. I’ve given you one example already, in which the writer imagines what something must have felt like.

You can also write about the process of discovering your family stories. For example: “After years of searching for any details about her life, I suddenly had her diary sitting in front of me. Suddenly I was nervous about who she would turn out to be. My hand trembled as I turned the first page.”

If you don’t want to put yourself into the story, at least explain why you have written it. Ian Frazier, who lost his parents, does this in his book Family: “I wanted my parents’ lives to have meant something. . . . I didn’t care if the meanings were far-flung or vague or even trivial. I wanted to pursue them. I hoped maybe I could find a meaning that would defeat death.”

“Meanings that defeat death?” There’s nothing boring about that! Isn’t that what family history is all about? So don’t be shy about searching out and writing your family history. You’ll find plenty of meaning in it, and so will those who read it.

Sunny McClellan Morton is a Latter-day Saint heritage writer and author of My Life & Times: A Guided Journal for Collecting Your Stories. Learn more about her at sunnymorton.com.

{LDS How-to} Love Life and See Good Days

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:27:00 -0600

by Emily Freeman
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: A horribly embarrassing trip to the grocery store in PJs turned into a funny experience and then a life-changing lesson.

Several years ago we spent the Christmas holidays skiing at a cabin. That was a really good idea for the first two days, but by the end of the third day I could no longer walk, so I ended up lounging in my (very cute) pajamas. Later that evening I agreed to go to the store because my kids decided they didn’t want what had been prepared for dinner, but I really didn’t want to change. My sisters-in-law were sitting at the kitchen table and I asked them, “Do you think it would be a big deal if I wore my pajamas to the grocery store?” Their reply? “No, you will be there for five minutes; no one will even notice what you are wearing.”

So I went to the store. I answered a phone call as I walked in and also noticed there was no one in line at the Redbox machine. (As I am sure you are aware, that never happens.) So I decided to return the three DVDs we had rented the day before. I don’t know if you know this, but the Redbox is the slowest machine invented. Before too long a line had formed behind me. Since I was now happened to be first in line, I decided to rent another movie for the night. As I waited for the movie to vend, a lady from the back of the line came up to me and asked, “Are you on the phone?” I looked at her and smiled and waved. Of course I was on my phone; she could see me talking into it. She continued, “Because you can’t use this machine while you are talking on the phone.” Now, in my defense, I thought she was telling me that you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to use the Redbox machine, so I giggled and winked and waved again, and she got back in line.

My phone call ended just as my DVD came out of the slot. As I turned to leave, the woman returned and said, “You are rude! And you’re wearing your pajamas!” I was mortified, and not quite sure what the correct response would be. I took my DVD and wandered into the grocery store, completely forgetting why I had come.

I walked aimlessly through the produce and thought to myself, That lady is right, I should never have been talking on my cell phone while I was using the Redbox. By the time I got to the frozen food section I was saying to myself, What were you thinking? You should never have come to the grocery store in your pajamas! By the time I got to the check stand I was thinking, If you would have taught your kids to eat white chicken chili you wouldn’t have had to come here for nuggets and fries. By the time I drove to the first stop sign I was in tears. I was a terrible citizen, an awful mother, and somehow I had managed to ruin the entire Christmas holiday.

I walked into the house, past my two sisters-in-law who were still sitting at the kitchen table and said, “The pajamas were a bad idea!” One of them asked what happened, and by the time I finished telling them, we were all hysterical with laughter. Through her laughter one sister-in-law asked, “Why didn’t you tell her, ‘I know I am wearing my pajamas, I dressed myself!’” (Why is it you never think of the right thing to say in the moment?)

Isn’t it amazing how one second we can be completely on top of the world, and all it takes is one person questioning our actions for the whole world to come crashing down around us? Sometimes these moments are funny, like when we wear our pajamas to the grocery store. But sometimes these moments are painful, like when we begin to doubt our abilities as a mother, a spouse, or a friend. All of the sudden it doesn’t feel like a good day anymore.

I love a scripture found in 1 Peter 3 that says, “For he that will love life, and see good days…happy are ye” (1 Peter 3:10&14). Peter’s suggestion is simple but profound—love life, and see good days. I find it so interesting that the scripture does not tell us to love life and have good days. Instead the counsel is clear—see good days.

In my determination to acquire this gift, I have discovered several hints that have helped me to see good days. Perhaps some of these might work for you.

•    Change your perspective.
•    Look at things in a different light.
•    Laugh.
•    Uncover the good that may be concealed.
•    Turn each day over to the Lord and let Him guide the way.
•    Keep a blessings jar.
•    Pray.
•    Find balance.
•    Live Happy.
•    Ask for an understanding heart.
•    Look for someone you can serve.
•    List what you love.
•    Find miracles in the ordinary moments.
•    Try something new.

I challenge you to do one of these things today. Start a happy book and fill it with the memories of your days of gladness and your good days. Looking back at those moments will help you to see how many good days make up your life.

Emily Freeman is the author of the bestselling 21 Days Closer to Christ and has just released her new book, Love Life and See Good Days.

{LDS How-to} Help the Church in 5 Minutes

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:23:00 -0600

by SarahJo Ciotti
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: In addition to the many traditional ways of providing service within the church, through callings, service projects, or setting up tables and putting them away, the Church now offers several opportunities to serve that can easily be managed in a short time frame and from the comfort of your home.

You can take five minutes from your day to visit Helping in the Vineyard (vineyard.lds.org) to apply your skills and talents to a greater cause. This official Church website for online service provides opportunities we can accomplish from our homes or offices for five minutes or however long we have to devote.
And with a variety of opportunities that are constantly updated, you can find something that perfectly suits your interests and abilities. Here are some of the ways you can serve right now:

1. Translation. One of the projects the website features is translating English documents into 31 different languages. Whether you’ve studied languages, gone on a foreign-speaking mission, or English is your second language, you will find several opportunities to use these skills to help the Church provide magazines, manuals, and other works to countries that would otherwise have to wait a much longer time to get the information translated in their language. If you know another language but do not feel comfortable translating, you can still help by voting on the translations. Volunteers right now are working on the Teachings of the Living Prophets institute manual that will encourage more people worldwide to listen and follow the words of the living prophets.

2. Document comparison. Don’t speak another language? Don’t worry about it. There are still many more activities to choose from. You can assist by comparing text from an original document to the online version, identifying page breaks, and paragraph matching. Each of these activities has an easy-to-follow how-to video that explains the steps you take. By making sure the information is correct and double checking the articles, publication of these works is able to continue at an increased speed. This feature will be available soon, and in the meantime, there are still plenty of other options to participate in.

3. Indexing. The Vineyard also connects the user to the Church’s indexing program as a free download. This quick and easy activity allows you to preserve and register important genealogical information into the Church database so others can more readily view and use information about their ancestors. This activity is simple and can be done while watching television, or in between other daily activities. This was my favorite activity out of the ones I tried out, and I was amazed at how simple it was to accomplish once I started. I think I’m an indexing addict now.

4. Photo reviews. Are you a photography nut? You can upload your own pictures to be used in church publications, blogs, and online searches. The website provides a list of images that they are looking for specifically with some suggestions on quality and demand for each category. Don’t have a camera? Pinterest addict? You can review pictures that already exist on the website and add search words to enable easy use.

These are just a few simple things available to do every day. Within each broad category, there are multiple activities to choose from, so check the site out even if one of these doesn't tickle your fancy. And since the website updates regularly with new opportunities and activities, you don't have to worry about getting bored. Whether you have two minutes, half an hour, or an afternoon to devote, the Church can use your help. The most important service comes from a simple thing: a smile, a word of appreciation, or five minutes. All of these things are manageable no matter your schedule.

SarahJo Ciotti works two jobs (one of which is interning for LDS Living), rides a tiger-striped bike, and doesn’t have time to do laundry.

{LDS How-to} Create Your Own Book of Wedding Letters

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 10:04:00 -0600

by SarahJo Ciotti
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Everyone gets (and needs) advice when they get married. Why not organize preserve that advice in a beautiful book for the bride and groom?

The Wedding Letters, a new book by a New York Times Bestseller Jason F. Wright (author of The Wednesday Letters and The Christmas Jars), goes on sale today. And just as The Christmas Jars spurred a new Christmas tradition for families around the country, this book set me to thinking of how you could do your own wedding letters – letters of advice, encouragement, and happiness for the bride and groom – either for your own wedding or as a surprise gift for someone else’s.

So I came up with a few tips.

1. Designate someone to be in charge of the project. This should be someone who doesn’t already have a lot of responsibility with the wedding—and definitely someone other than the bride and groom.  If this is something you want for your own wedding, find a member of the family or a family friend that you trust and who would be excited to be a part of your big day to coordinate the letters. That way you will have one less thing to worry about, and you will make someone else feel valued and a part of the excitement. Then pass this guide on to that person and relax.

2. Collaborate with someone who knows the other side of the family; you want to include friends and family of both the bride and the groom. If you only know one side well, look for a partner who may know the other side as well. You can each gather the letters from the respective sides individually to combine later or have them sent to whomever is compiling the actual book.

3. Start with plenty of time. It’s never too early to start a wedding letters book. Once you find out the couple is engaged, get prepared.  Have a submission date, but plan with enough time that you can be flexible. Be patient. Follow up with a phone call (if possible) the week after you send invitations, and send out a reminder post card somewhere between the time you sent the invitation and the submission date.

4. Create a website. If you send out a hard copy invitation, or send e-mails, it’s probably a good idea to have a website where people can go if they lose your address or other information on the letters. You can create a professional website, or you can use one of the many free blog sites that are available. Just make the address simple enough that people can remember such as thejonesweddingletters.blogspot.com. For those who are more tech savvy, you can also use Google documents to allow people to easily input their information and advice into a submission form and send out e-invites using email and social networking sites.

5. Include tips or a prompt. Each letter should be a personal note of love, encouragement, and congratulations to the couple as they celebrate their wedding. Encourage the participants to send handwritten notes to add a personal touch but accept typed letters as well. Suggest that the letters be uplifting and hopeful, not lengthy lists of do’s and don’ts.

6. Provide postage and stationery if budget allows. This increases your chances for the contributor to respond, cutting out a trip to the post office or dollar store to get envelopes. You may even consider printing and providing custom stationary. Be sure the letters go directly to you, the letter gatherer. That way they are all in one place and you don’t have to track down who sent their letter to whom.

7. Presentation is everything. After you send out the invitations and while you wait for the letters to come in, take this time to arrange the way you want to present the gift to the bride and groom. Some ideas you may consider include: a three-ring binder (using sheet protectors to safeguard the contents); a personalized leather binder with their names, date of the wedding, or some other meaningful phrase; a professionally bound book; or an unbound collection in an attractive gift box.

To learn more about Jason Wright's new book The Wedding Letters, click here.

{LDS How-to} Survive and Thrive at a Non-LDS University

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 13:03:00 -0600

by Molly Gray
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Deciding to go to a non-Church school isn't easy, but, to borrow a common phrase, it can definitely be worth it.

“So, are you excited to go up to BYU?”

I so wanted to lie to the sweet old woman who had watched me grow up in her ward, but, alas, I knew that if I was making this decision, I had to stand by it or no one would ever understand why I did it.

“Well, no actually. I decided to go to Ohio State University in Ohio. But I’m really very excited to head out there!”

It seemed as if everyone was dumbfounded that I had chosen to attend a non-LDS university and that, out of the goodness of their hearts, they were concerned about what might happen to me.

Luckily for me, I thrived in college—I was a walk-on varsity athlete for a year and the managing editor of the student newspaper, I graduated with two majors and I had both ward and stake callings. I saw everything from the power of the world’s influence on those around me to the power of the Savior’s love to change people’s lives.

But it wasn’t easy. I had a lot to learn along the way and I was far from perfect. Here are my best tips for surviving and thriving at a non-LDS university.

1. Be loud and be proud. When I first moved into the dorms and started classes, I was pretty quiet about my faith. I thought that people would judge me and I wouldn’t make any friends. Once I was unafraid to address my faith in casual conversation (it took a little practice), I was pleasantly surprised by the reaction from most people. And I realized that people who wrote me off weren’t people I wanted to associate with anyway.

2. Attend institute. This might seem trite or like an advertisement for the Church Educational System, but truly, attending institute was the best decision I made during college (outside of regular church attendance, of course). The institute building itself is usually more conducive to studying than any library on campus, and I made many friends and future roommates in class.

3. Pray for missionary experiences, but be okay when people turn you down. I saw many conversion stories of wonderful people while I was in Ohio. But I also had many friends meet with missionaries and have no subsequent interest in the Church. At first that was painful to take, but I had to remind myself that because I was a daily example and friend, I was planting gospel seeds.

4. Have good friends. I think this tip holds true for LDS schools as well, but find good friends who will support you. I made many good friends in the Church while I was at school. But I also had several good friends outside of the Church who knew my standards and always made sure that I felt comfortable with what we were doing.

5. Keep a journal. Often times, at a non-LDS school, you might feel like no one around you understands your trials and tribulations. Aside from prayer, I have found that keeping a journal was one of the best ways to debrief—to unload all of the drama, worry, pain and concern and move on.

6. Stay away from sororities and fraternities. As Ice-T once put it: Don’t hate the playa, hate the game. I have met many wonderful people who happen to be “Greek,” but the fact of the matter is that Satan has a lot of power in those places. Just stay away. Plus, singles wards pretty much act like a co-ed fraternity—and the activities are uplifting!

7. Do service. I think college students can be some of the most selfish people on the planet. You can’t blame them, it is human nature. When you are young and single you really don’t have to think much about anyone but yourself. To avoid this casualty of the single life, engage in service! It will bring you closer to others and closer to the Lord. And it will always bring missionary experiences.

So there you have it. A foolproof (well, almost) way to survive and thrive at a non-LDS school. Now go out and be examples to the world!

---
Molly is a 2011 graduate of journalism at Ohio State University. She is now getting a master's degree in digital journalism at the University of Southern California. She loves blogging, reading, crafting and meeting new people.

{LDS How-to} Host a Cyber FHE

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 00:08:00 -0600

by Alexis Sanders
source: MormonLife.com

Many of us have come to the truth that as our children grow up they fly the coop. Some may end up around the block, but many relocate to distances over hundreds or even thousands of miles away. While in the past the only means of connection required weeks of waiting for snail-mail letters, today’s technology has made distances smaller, and for LDS families that connection can allow for a continuance of family traditions. Family Home Evening doesn’t have to be a thing of the past for diffused families. With today’s well-connected world, families can maintain their weekly time together even after children have moved away. Just follow these simple steps below, and voila! Your very own cyber FHE will become a reality.

Get wired.
First things first, you will need a few equipment items. You will need to secure a computer with an internet connection, a microphone—stick style microphones work best for groups so everyone can talk freely—and a webcam. Webcams don’t have to be pricy; on average they range from $20 to $30, and being able to see each other will add a fun dimension to your long distance family night.

Go online.
Next you will need to download a video chat program. (If you have a Mac, your computer should already be equipped with iChat, which can easily connect to other Macs or to PCs through AOL Instant Messenger.) Although there are many to choose from, Skype (skype.com), and others like it, are effective and free. This will prove especially useful for family in foreign countries, because while phone bills can add up, these programs remain free overseas. What’s more, some programs allow you to make group calls, where you can see and talk to multiple users at once.

Voiceover.
Understand that VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) has a bit of lag time. You won’t notice when people are talking, but it may prove problematic for trying to sing opening songs. You can avoid late choruses by having one family sing, while the rest mute their microphones and sing along with them.

Props and pictures.
Having video allows for the use of pictures and visual props. These are easily incorporated into lessons since all you have to do is hold them up in your video to share them with the rest of the family. Skype even has a Screen Sharing function which allows you to share presentations, photos, or other information without having to send it through e-mail.

Mute and un-mute.
Take turns between families on who presents the lesson each week. Have everyone except the family presenting mute their microphones to reduce background noise and talking over each other. Be sure to un-mute your microphone to interject comments or questions. Cyber FHE is also a great option for families with unique situations—where Dad or Mom travel for work or to care for ailing loved ones.

Helpful equipment.
A Laptop: A portable laptop with an integrated webcam and built-in microphone can be useful for families on the go. Not only can you mobilize the location you hold FHE, but you can bring it over to other family members who may not have the equipment necessary to access it, with ease.

Microphones: Microphones include several different styles. While the stick style is useful for large groups, because you can place it front and center, a headset, which includes a microphone and a headphone speaker, has a much better audio quality and is great for single users.

Webcam: While the most practical webcams are those already built into computers, there are many other options to choose from. Webcams that clip to the top of your computer screen are useful to large groups, since it’s easier to adjust the angle to show everyone all the faces of their family.

Lesson Props: Because online chats use video, you can take advantage of video by showing pictures relating the your lesson, such as those found in the Gospel Art Book, or even by conducting your favorite object lessons in front of the webcam. This will get everyone involved and will prove much more interesting for teens and children than a more simple discussion.

{LDS How-to} Talk to Your Neighbor About a Mormon Candidate

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 00:05:00 -0600

by Whitney Sorensen
source: MormonLife.com

In case you haven’t heard by now, Jon Huntsman Jr. is running for president. Now that Huntsman has joined fellow Mormon Mitt Romney, you’re probably going to have more than one conversation with a neighbor or co-worker about these prominent Mormon candidates.

Here are some tips for talking to your neighbor about a Mormon candidate.

1. Be informed about Mormon candidates. Your neighbors and co-workers who are not Latter-day Saints may assume that you support political Mormons because you are one, and they may use a candidate’s policies or promises to start a conversation. If you do endorse a Mormon candidate, it’s a good idea to be able to defend him or her on political merits and not just religious affiliation. And if you’re not supporting them, you’ll probably still want to know where Mormons who are running for office stand on the big issues. Often this goes beyond just knowing their political party.

2. Separate politics from religion. Take a lesson from the Church’s stance of political neutrality. Remember that a Mormon politician plays many roles, just like anyone else. The duties of an elected official are separate from the responsibilities of a member of the Church. While some political topics overlap with moral issues—abortion, defending marriage, stem-cell research—all candidates ultimately take their own stand on these issues. Church leaders do not “make them” vote a certain way or defend a certain side.

3. Know your own views on the issues. Any political conversation you are a part of should be a place for you to express your own views, not just to reiterate someone else’s. Newspapers and web pages are a good place to start, but look to a variety of sources because every source has a little bias. To compare your views with those of a specific candidate, look at official websites or watch recent speeches so you’re taking the words straight from the candidate’s mouth.

4. Listen as much as you talk. This is no time for a filibuster! A sure way to keep someone from hearing your opinion is to not offer them a chance to share their own. A good way to avoid this is to know your stance and be able to state it quickly. Also, don’t plan your next statement while your friend is talking. If you listen courteously, your friend will likely do the same.

5. Be civil. There’s a reason discussing politics is a taboo topic: people tend to have strong opinions about it, and yours could vary widely from your neighbor’s. Remember to be respectful of the opinions of others and refrain from throwing insults. Instead, ask questions about your concerns with a particular policy or stance to prompt more discussion with your friend. If a topic gets heated, politely change the subject.

Think we missed something? Leave a comment below to tell us your tactics for talking Mormons and politics. Not everyone loves discussing politics—some people even avoid it—but with these tips hopefully your next political conversation won’t be a painful one.

{LDS How-to} Help Your Kids Keep the Sabbath Day Holy

Mon, 16 May 2011 11:31:00 -0600

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

We’ve been told to keep the Sabbath day holy, but with a spirited eight-year-old, a flighty Valiant 11, and a misunderstood teen, teaching them to choose the right may appear to be more of a cross to bear than a duty to do with a heart full of song. So what can you do to truly make Sunday a special day, other than trimming your nails on Saturday? Here are some ideas.

1. Reserve the day. The Sabbath is supposed to be for the benefit of man. Think of it as a weekly holiday from the world, the day that you don’t have to do your housework. If your kids are in school, help them get their homework done on Saturday. Likewise, if you work, save your job for the weekdays, unless necessity demands otherwise. Keep worldly things for the worldly days and sacred things for this sacred day.

2. Discussion time. Always ask your children what they learned in church. Ask them to relate the lesson they were taught, then find out if they have any questions. Maybe even ask them questions to show your own interest and to get them thinking. Sunday is a day of learning, so give your children a setting in which to learn.

3. The Sunday box. Make a special box and fill it with treats and Sabbath day activities (like acting out scenes from the scriptures, or watching an uplifting movie), then hide it during the week. Especially for younger children, the anticipation for the mysterious delights of the Sunday box, only seen once a week, should help them recognize how unique the seventh day is and how certain things are set aside specifically for it.

4. Family time. If you have family that live out of state, or even simply in another house, write letters to them with your children. Have them write what they are learning in church, in school, what they did on Saturday with their friends. Take pictures to include with the letters. If your family lives nearby, visit them or have dinner with them.

5. Service. Contact your Relief Society president and other leaders to find out if there is anyone in the ward that needs service. Whether it’s cooking meals, singing songs, or just talking, take Sunday as your golden opportunity to teach your children (and maybe even yourself) the importance of service.

6. Be consistent. It won’t do you or your family much good if you do something one Sunday, then don’t do it the next. Children are quick to sense hypocrisy. If you want your Sabbath day plans to succeed, you must do them every week, or else they will become meaningless.

*How do you help your kids keep the Sabbath day holy? Leave a comment below.

{Lifestyle} Chore Charts for Kids

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 13:07:00 -0600

by How Does She?
source: MormonLife.com

Learn how to make and implement a chore chart for multiple children from the ladies at the popular blog How Does She?.

Happy, well adjusted, self sufficient, gracious, competent, and helpful; are these some of the attributes you would like to use when describing your children? How do we turn this wishful thinking into reality? These questions and others like it, plague me and many other moms. In order to help foster these desirable qualities we need to go back to basics, good old work.   “We often miss opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas A. Edison.   This quote has a double meaning as it applies to teaching our kids to work. First, we don’t want our kids to miss out on wonderful opportunities because they are unwilling or unable to work for them.   Second, training our kids to work, sometimes can seem like more work for moms than it is worth, but we really can’t let the opportunity pass us by. I often hear moms say, “It is just easier for me to do it myself.” This is the stone cold truth, if the issue was just getting the job done.   But the larger picture is what we must keep in mind. Training our kids to be productive, contributing adults is the end goal. Regular chores and work as a family is the means to that end.

Photo from How Does She?.

But how do we accomplish this worthy goal? I believe the answer lies in a balance between structure and variety. Experts say that kids thrive in a structured environment. The paradox is that kids also get bored easily. My mother grew up in the 60’s. She cleaned the bathroom every week for 10 years, and guess what? She hates cleaning bathrooms. My two older sons loaded and unloaded the dishwasher daily for 5 years, until they were sick of it. Without variety, we run the risk of our kids hating chores (work) and we also deprive them of learning skills associated with doing a variety of household duties. Don’t get depressed if you have tried multiple systems and they have all fizzled out. To keep it interesting, we must change up the system when it gets boring or stale. In our home, we have tried dozens of ideas for handling chores.   My older kids cynically jest with each other, “I wonder how long this one’s going to last.” But the fact is, they have been doing some type of regular chores for their whole life. So really I have the last laugh.

Photo from How Does She?.

We are currently using a system that is working very well. We stick to a routine for when and how we accomplish our daily chores, but rotate specific jobs weekly to keep it fresh. Bear in mind, that I have four sons ranging from 5-13. We are at a great stage in life where everyone can contribute. The kids rotate through all the jobs. I just help the 5 year old a bit. This eliminates any complaining about whose jobs are harder. Kids as young as three could easily do a modified version of these routines, and I say it’s never too early to get started. Your most eager helpers are the youngest.

My kids have a morning, afternoon, and evening routine. These are on checklists posted on their metal squares (you can see in the picture.) I love these magnet type charts because you can change it up easily by just adding lists, individual jobs or even notes. The morning routine is the same every day and includes their hygiene check off list, (boys will not shower, snip their fingernails, or brush their teeth unless instructed to do so) and bedroom responsibilities. After school, along with homework, and practicing instruments, they put away any clean laundry from the day. The evening routine is where we use our old fashioned chore wheel.

Photo from How Does She?.

This great chore chart was a product of the 70’s and still works great today. We use a four tiered chart: 1-Name of kid, 2-kitchen chore, 3- bathroom chore, 4- room of responsibility or ROR. Having four kids makes it easy, but I won’t bore you with the merits of having four kids. If you have one to three kids you can add mom and/or dad to the wheel.   If you have five plus kids doing chores, good for you! More helpers means less work for you and dad.   You may actually have a hard time coming up with enough chores. In this case, you can assign the job of Sheriff. This was a coveted job in my home, growing up with five siblings. The Sheriff inspects the other jobs and makes sure the quality is up to snuff.

We keep the same chores all week and rotate the wheel on Sunday. After dinner before anyone is excused, we do the kitchen chores: everyone clears their own plate, rinses and stacks them in the right hand sink. The kitchen jobs are 1. load, 2. clear & wipe countertops, 3. sweep 4. unload. Dad takes out the kitchen trash.   This system ensures that the kitchen is always presentable and sanitary.   Then before bed, the kids do a bathroom job 1. Wipe down toilet exterior, swish bowl 2. Wipe down countertop, sink and mirror. 3. Disinfect floor and wipe down 4. Spray and rinse shower and tub. And they also do an inspection of their ROR, putting away anything out of place, 1. Living room 2. TV room 3. Downstairs Bathroom 4. Stairs and hallways. On Saturday, they do a full scrub job on their bathroom job and dust and vacuum their ROR (obviously I vacuum for the 5 year old.) When they are out of school, I give more detailed jobs in their ROR. You can also use the detail jobs for penalties for infractions.


Photo from How Does She?.

Infractions are like little citations for all those bad habits you would like your kids/husband to break. For example, leaving out coats, shoes, backpacks, towels on floor, toothbrush on countertop, not cleaning up the kitchen after a snack, or if they don’t do a chore, or do a poor job. The penalty for infractions must sting a little bit, so find out what really motivates your kids. At our house it’s allowance money, and privileges. The consequence is to pay 50 cents per infraction or forfeit an hour of video game time. I give them 10 minutes to correct the mistake before I fine them. They are pretty good about getting on it because if they don’t do it right away sometimes they forget and when the timer goes off, it’s too late. We keep infraction cards in a recipe file box in the kitchen. For the readers out there, this whole concept is detailed in Pam Young & Peggy Jones book “Get Your Act Together.” The reason I love this system is that it eliminates nagging, or yelling on the part of mom. If you end up doing the job, you aren’t angry about it because it seems like you are in control.

If you are serious, or even just curious about training your kids to be high functioning adults, I highly recommend the book “Parenting Breakthrough” by Merillee Boyack. She developed a grand plan, a list of tasks kids should be able to perform at certain ages as well as detailed instructions for how to train kids to do each job. Even if you aren’t a reader, this book is a great resource to have in your home.

I am terribly long winded about this topic, but for those of you still hanging with me, here is your take away: It really doesn’t matter how you go about setting up a chore system for your family. What is important is that you start something, and do it now. Don’t wait around trying to find the perfect idea, or procrastinate by making cutesy frou-frou charts (or even reading umpteen parenting books). Don’t get discouraged when something you try doesn’t work. Grab your whip, get back on the horse and get those kids working. They’ll thank you for it someday.

For more awesome posts like this one, visit the How Does She? blog.

{LDS How-to} Unite Your Relief Society

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 00:15:00 -0600

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Do the gaps in your Relief Society span a little bit farther than the space between seats? When Relief Society sisters come together and work with one heart and one mind, miracles happen. Here are some tips for reaching that goal:

1. Do your visiting teaching. You might be thinking, “Is that really a tip?” Our answer is: Very much so. When women visit each other, they share more than a simple thought or message—they share a strong bond of womanhood and the gospel. In times of happiness, talents are shared, joys are celebrated, and smiles are spread. In times of need, shoulders are cried on, burdens are lifted, and hearts are mended. Getting to know just one sister on a more personal level will help generate unity.

2. Unite the old and young. Between the 18-year-old high school student and the 81-year-old widow, there may not seem to be much in common, except, that is, the gospel. Try pairing up the two for visiting teaching. Start an “Adopt a Grandmother/Granddaughter” program, or have a “Then and Now” activity night to compare the lifestyles of two generations. Teach dances, watch movies, dress up—you may be surprised what the younger girls will tell you is cool again.

3. Perform service projects. “Charity never faileth,” and it definitely won’t fail here. Brainstorm service project ideas during your Relief Society meetings. Make simple dolls for local hospitals or silk flower arrangements for the church building. Not only will you be making a difference and having fun, but you’ll be forming friendships along the way.

4. Mix it up. If you’re a Relief Society leader, give your sisters opportunities to meet each other rather than wait for them to do it on their own. Try this: When you stand to make announcements, ask the sisters to also stand up. Tell them to look around the room and find someone they don’t know to sit beside.

5. Have sister spotlights. Each week, give one sister in your Relief Society the responsibility to find out some information about another sister, such as: her favorite personal memory, where she sees herself in ten years, her dream vacation, and her most embarrassing moment. Read the spotlight in Relief Society, then reveal who it is. The woman who is spotlighted chooses another woman, and the process is repeated.

6. Help transition the new young women. The transition from Young Women to Relief Society can be exciting, but it’s proven to be one of the hardest. As a Relief Society leader, work closely with the Young Women presidency. Create Relief Society activities that the Young Women could participate in, plan mother-daughter activities, or find things that will help the younger girls feel like Relief Society has something to offer them personally. Make a very special effort to welcome transitioning girls in.

7. Have secret sisters. Who doesn’t love surprise gifts or unexpected acts of service? Each month, have each person draw the name of another Relief Society member to be their “secret sister.” During the month, the sister should leave a treat for her secret sister or do some form of service—secretly, of course.

*What do you do to unite your Relief Society? Leave a comment below.

{LDS How-to} Combine Scouting and Duty to God

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 10:28:00 -0600

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Help a young man earn the two most important awards of his life. One might not think Scouting and Duty to God go hand in hand. One is doctrine-related, and the other is all about tents, badges, and fire, right? While both programs have a unique take on fostering development in a young man, these programs complement each other in many ways.

1. Involve the youth in service activities. Both programs call for service. Requirements of some service permeate every office of the Aaronic Priesthood, and the latter ranks of Boy Scouts—Star, Life, and Eagle—require service as well. Know what your Scout is doing for service and count it toward his Duty to God, or vice versa. Use merit badges such as Painting, Pet Care, Home Repair, and Citizenship in the Community to find service ideas.

2. Teach boys principles of morality. Duty to God involves a lot of pondering and studying the gospel. Scouting can help reinforce that with the Scout Law. Scouts are asked to live trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent lives. Mix in these principles with his gospel study.

3. Learn and expand their perspective. In the American Cultures merit badge, Scouts are asked to learn about other cultures in their area. What a great opportunity to share the gospel with others—a key requirement in Duty to God. Also, if you have non-members in your Troop, the interaction can produce positive missionary and moral discussions.

4. Interact with others. Scouts are encouraged to help inactive Boy Scouts return to service. Sound familiar? What’s more, Duty to God has a “Share” activity in every segment. Who better to share a testimony, a lesson, or a skill learned than with Scout buddies?

5. Measure success and growth. A Scout Board of Review is eerily similar to Priesthood and worthiness interviews. Leaders of both groups check on the boy’s progress and support him. This is easily a combined activity with LDS Scout leaders.

Make a master list to streamline your boy’s life. Make three columns—one on each side for either Duty to God or Scouting, and one in the middle for the activities he does from day to day or at school or work. Match requirements of the programs with things he already does and find where the two programs line up, then assign activities. Better yet, let him pick ones that will progress him simultaneously.

{LDS How-to} Lead Music

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:00:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Don't let conducting music intimidate you. Learn how with these tips. Conducting music in church can be intimidating or downright confusing. Here is a simple breakdown and tips for leading music.

1. Time signatures and Waving Routes:

     a. The most common is 4/4 time. The top four represents four beats in a measure while the bottom four states that a quarter note gets one beat. Use this same style for a 12/8 time signature. Make a plus sign in the air to signify the four beats per measure. The down beat—the first beat in a measure—is the most important one to mark. The pattern is down, left, right, up. Down, left, right up.

     b. In 3/4 time, there are three beats in a measure. Use 3/4 technique for 9/8 as well. Make a triangle in the air, hitting a point at each beat: DOWN, right up. Down, right up.

     c. Songs in 2/2 time are the easiest of all. There are two beats in a measure, and a half note gets one beat. You can use this same conducting technique with 6/8 and 2/4 time. Make a backwards J-shape in the air: Swoop down, up. Swoop down, up.

2. Dynamics: Dynamics are a measure of how loud or soft the music is. If you are brave enough, use your left hand to cue volume while conducting with the right hand. An upward facing palm means to get louder (crescendo), a downward palm to get softer (diminuendo).

3. Ritardando: Ritardando (rit. in music) means to slow down. We do this instinctually at the end of many songs, but some ask for a ritardando specifically. When encountering a rit., slow the tempo (speed) of your hand/conducting, but maintain the same shape.

4. Fermata: A fermata looks like a dot with a half circle and indicates to hold the note for an extended period of time. There is no specific amount of time you are supposed to hold the note, so do what feels comfortable. Slowly drag your hand out to cue the fermata. When ready to carry on, begin conducting according to the time signature again. Body language cues can also be a big help to those who are following you.

*Want to test out your fermata skills? Try “We are all Enlisted” (Hymn #250)

5. Picking Hymns: Use the “Topic” reference guide in the back of the hymn book to find appropriate Sacrament and holiday songs as well as hymns on specific subject matter such as repentance, love, and missionary work.

{LDS How-to} Support Your Sister Missionary

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 10:30:00 -0700

by Ashley Jones
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Five ways to show your sister missionary some love. Just over two years ago, I returned home from serving a mission in Frankfurt, Germany. I also have a younger sister serving in the Russia, Moscow mission right now. We’re the only two girls in our immediate and extended families to serve missions, so the points below are things that have mattered most to the two of us in sustaining support from our family while serving the Lord. (Most of these ideas also apply to Elders.)

1. Print her emails. When you get her weekly emails, print them off and store them in a binder for her. When she returns home, those emails will be some of her most prized possessions. (They are for me.)

2. Girls love variety. Every once in a while, send her a new shirt or skirt, or a pair of earrings. (I don’t know about every other sister missionary who has served, but after nine months of wearing the same clothes, I ran out of options for mixing and matching. Just one new shirt opens up a lot of possibilities!)

3. Prayer works. Pray for her, her investigators and her companions. (I promise, she will feel your prayers. They make a difference.)

4. Send pictures and family updates. Send her pictures of her friends and family. Get nieces and nephews or little brothers and sisters to draw pictures for her. These pictures were great reminders of how much I love my family, and also a motivation to help find other families who don’t have the gospel.

5. Don’t forget her. When I say “don’t forget her,” I mean, remember that she hasn’t fallen off the face of the earth just because you don’t see her every day. Write her letters and emails. Hand-written letters were some of the most uplifting things I received on my mission. They helped me know my family still thought about me!

--

Ashley Jones practices public relations for Deseret Book. She loves writing, emailing her missionary sister, and making/ eating home-made popcorn.

{LDS How-to} Teach an Etiquette Night with the Youth

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:31:00 -0700

by Ashley Jones
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Tips for how to throw a fun YW/YM mutual activity on etiquette. A couple of weeks ago, the young women president in my ward asked me to be the guest speaker for the youth etiquette night. You want to know the first thought that ran through my head? “Alright, Ashley. You’ve got this. You’ve had plenty of experience eating (sad thought), so this should be a piece of cake.” (No pun intended. Alright, maybe a little pun intended.)

I was given about 15 minutes to talk to the youth, which when you think about it, isn’t that much time to talk about dining etiquette. (I was also assigned to talk about dating etiquette, but for the sanity of you readers and my word count, I’m sticking to “dining” in this post.)

When I got down to planning for the presentation, there were a lot of resources and differing opinions. I knew I only had so much time to keep their attention spans focused on me and my words, so I made sure to implant a few jokes and funny YouTube videos throughout my presentation. I think the YouTube videos were the biggest hit. The award for my biggest beneficiary in preparing this presentation goes to a YouTube clip of Randy, from the movie, A Christmas Story. (You know, that one movie that plays on repeat on TBS all of Christmas day? “’Fraaagile,’ must be Italian!”)

Do you remember the part in the movie where Randy, the little brother, is sitting at the kitchen table playing with his undesired meatloaf. In order to get him to eat his food, his mother asks him,

      “Randy, how do the little piggies go?”

      “Oink, oink, oink!”

      “That’s right! Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat!”

Randy proceeds to lift his plate to his face and makes more of a face painting, than a meal, out of his meatloaf. A disgusted father and brother look on as they shake their heads.

Thank you, Randy, for teaching the youth what not to do. After I showed the youth that clip I asked somewhat sarcastically, “Okay – is this a good or bad example of how we want to eat?” A resounding “GOOD!!!” rang through the gym. I gave them the smuggest look I could put on my face and they burst out laughing. Typical. But, the point was made and understood.

So besides lifting your plate to your face and making a Picasso out of meatloaf, what other tips should you give your youth about dining etiquette? Sure, they aren’t going to go out tomorrow and need to learn how to use a shrimp fork, (I still don’t know how/where to use it) so I kept my tips, in the form of a quiz, basic and applicable.

1: When do you put your napkin on your lap?

            A: When your food comes

            B: When you sit down

            C: You only need a napkin if you’re eating soup or spaghetti

            Correct answer: B. As soon as you sit down at the table, you put the napkin on your lap. You may have not even received your menu or food yet, but the napkin goes in your lap.

2: When you excuse yourself to use the restroom, where do you place your napkin? (If you’re coming back to your table.)

            A: On the seat of your chair

            B: To the left of your plate

            C: Hand it to your neighbor to hold for you

            Correct answer: A. According to “Miss Mary’s Manners,” there is a “silent code language” between restaurant patrons and the staff – if you leave your napkin on the chair, it’s a “signal” that you’re not finished with your meal and that you’re coming back. (My junior high must not have offered that language elective, because I had no idea there was a secret language.)

3: When is it appropriate for you to begin eating?

            A: Once you have received/ dished up your food?

            B: Once everyone has been served.

            C: As soon as the host/ hostess says you can begin.

            Correct answer: B/C. It’s kind of a trick question. Technically, you should wait until the host or hostess says you may begin, but generally the polite thing to do is wait until everyone at your table has been served. Then you can start digging in.

4: Where do you place your silverware when you are finished with your meal?

            A: Parallel, next to your plate

            B: In your cup

            C: Left to right, parallel, on the plate

            Correct answer: C. The tops of the knife and fork should be pointing to the ten o’clock position on the plate. That is the “code signal” for being done. (See everything that you’re learning today? Code words and etiquette. Wow.)

How did you do? How do you think your children or the youth in your wards would do? Of course, I touched on the basics:

    * Chew with your mouth closed.
    * Cut small pieces of food.
    * Don’t hunch over your food – sit up straight.
    * Don’t “shovel” your food – never pick up your plate and bring it to your mouth. (The only exception to that rule is a Saturday morning bowl of Cheerios.) You take a bite and bring the bite to your mouth… not your mouth to the bite.

I asked them more questions than I posted here, but you get the gist of where I went with the presentation. We had a lot of fun, to be honest. I was excited to see that they were sincerely intrigued by what they didn’t know. I bet your youth would be too!

I think our world is falling into a level informality that is becoming normal. It’s okay to be formal. It’s okay to know the proper etiquette for holding a fork and knife. In fact, if I may be so bold, I suggest it. Being aware of dining etiquette doesn’t mean you’re stuffy or prideful. It is a simple, respectful formality that everyone appreciates. Even Randy.

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Ashley Jones practices public relations for Deseret Book. She loves writing, emailing her missionary sister, and making/ eating home-made popcorn.

{LDS How-to} Write a Missionary

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:15:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: A letter from a loved one can make a world of difference for a missionary in the field. But staying in communication can be a bit tricky. Here is some practical advice for those who want to effectively boost their powerful priesthood proselytizer!

1. Emails. Most missionaries are only allowed to email immediate family, but email rules are often up to the discretion of the mission president. If a missionary is allowed to email anyone, remember they have limited time on the computer and should use it to primarily communicate with their mission president and family. However, it is perfectly acceptable for family members to forward a missionary’s family emails on to others. Dearelder.com is another online option. They offer free same-day letter delivery to the Provo MTC, and charge the cost of a stamp for all pouch mail services. Simply go to dearelder.com, select the mission and missionary, and start typing.

2. Letters. Nothing is better than a hand-written letter—especially if it includes pictures, drawings, and stories—but be disciplined in what you include. President Hinckley gives some advice when it comes to letter writing: “Missionaries love to hear from home, especially from close friends. What makes it tough to concentrate is what is contained in the letters. Write about their mission. Share personal missionary experiences you are having at home. Write about insightful things you’ve learned in the scriptures. It’s all right to write about home; just don’t dwell on it. If you are focused on his mission, he will be too.” When in doubt, err on the side of too many stamps.

3. Pouch. The pouch provides a cheap and reliable mail service to many places where receiving mail is difficult, but be warned! Sometimes, the pouch service can take a LONG TIME and any letters that do not meet the requirements will be returned. The service does not accept envelopes or packages. In order to use the pouch, you have two options: either write a postcard or write a letter on one side of a single sheet of printer paper. If using a piece of paper, fold it into thirds, fastening the top with tape and placing a stamp in the top right corner. Address the sheet to church headquarters:

Name of the missionary
Mission name
P.O. Box 30150
Salt Lake City, UT 84130-0150

4. Packages. In the United States, most packages are sent to the missionary’s mission office. Packages to foreign missions are usually sent to the mission home, but the mail service outside the country is not always timely or reliable. Valuables may be stolen and cookies may get moldy.
When in doubt about how to communicate with your missionary, feel free to contact the secretary of the mission, the MTC, or the missionary to find regulations and suggestions specific to each mission.

{LDS How-to} Transform a Cultural Hall into a Wedding Reception

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:03:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: How to turn a cultural hall into a reception hall. Not that basketball hoops, brown carpeted walls, and accordion dividers aren’t fabulous décor for a wedding, but a bride usually wants a little more glamour when it comes to this special day. So how can you transform a church cultural hall into a beautiful reception? Easy!

1. Reserve the venue. As soon as you have a wedding date you need to call the stake clerk. The cultural hall can be booked as far as three months out, so the sooner the better.

2. Make it cozy. If your cultural hall is a larger space than you need, use the dividers to make the room smaller. For obvious reasons, it’s easier to decorate a smaller area, but also, a large, empty space is less inviting than a smaller, more intimate one.

3. Camouflage the ceiling. There’s nothing wrong with bringing in a big, white tent to hide the ceiling tile. No tent? Instead, create the illusion of one by draping sheer fabric from the middle of the ceiling down to each wall. Or you can create a dropped-ceiling effect by draping the fabric straight across the room. You might also consider hanging flowers, pom-poms balls or any type of décor on strings from the ceiling.

4. Hide the walls. Again, draping fabric over the walls is a great way to hide them and add elegance to the cultural hall. Set up plants along the walls for further concealment.

5. Add mood lighting. Try not to use the harsh lights from the cultural hall. Instead, bring in all your own lighting; the softer light is more flattering. For a European look, string lights from one wall to the other in parallel rows. You can amp up the look by attaching paper lanterns. Another idea is to hang netted lights along the walls. Make sure to bring floor lamps to set up around the perimeter.

6. Add pretty props. A cultural halls can be transformed into outdoor gardens with added props like trickling fountains, fake plants (like Baroque-style hedges), columns, arches, etc. You can rent items like these, or even borrow them from neighbors’ gardens.

7. Decorate beyond the cultural hall. Who says you can’t decorate the hallway and entryway leading up to your reception? Continue your reception’s theme from the front doors all the way to the cultural hall. Your guests will never even feel like they’re in a church building.

{LDS How-to} Win a Pinewood Derby

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:02:00 -0700

by LDS Living staff
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Tired of losing the pinewood derby? Biting your nails to know the winner’s secret? No matter how hard you try, your car never seems quite up to par. Here’s the good news: it’s not you, it’s your technique (which can be fixed!). For decades, the pinewood derby has been a dad’s running ground to show his son—and the ward—his mechanical savvy. Pretty obvious when you say it, but winning really lies in the skill of the design. Here are some easy tips to consider when planning your car.

1. Follow the rules. You can’t win if you don’t get the chance to race.

2. Consider aerodynamics. Cars with a low profile offer the least air-resistance. You’ve got to sacrifice hood ornaments for a more practical aerodynamic design.

3. Let’s talk axles. The biggest issue is turning the wheels and axles. Cars weighing 5 oz. don’t have much weight to keep their wheels moving, and let’s face it, the nails in the box are rough and slow down movement. Try filing off the rough spots with a drill to decrease friction, making them as smooth as possible. In addition, use a good, dry lubricant to will allow for a faster spin on your wheels.

4. Make sure your car is tracking straight. Cars that bump the lane guide are slowed down. Once your wheels are mounted, check their alignment by letting your car down a homemade 6’’ long board at an incline. If your car moves significantly to one side, or your wheels have moved in and out, move the axles up or down to adjust your alignment.

5. Check your wheels before you race. Spin each wheel with your finger and let them run to a stop. A good wheel should take about 20-30 seconds to stop completely. If it’s sooner, try rubbing dry graphite around the wheels and on the surface of the car body where the inner wheel hub touches. Decreasing friction will always help.

6. Put your weight in the back. With such a short track, heavy equals fast. Putting your weight in the back of your car will maximize your speed on the flat of the track.

7. Don’t race your car on the ground or concrete. This can ruin your wheels.

8. Be careful of modification. Once you’ve achieved a fast car, don’t make any changes. You don’t want to ruin a good thing.

9. Keep a good attitude. Once your car is ready, head to your race, check your wheels, and let it go!