Mormon Life - Forgiveness tag

Book of Mormon Lesson 20: "My Soul Is Pained No More"

Fri, 11 May 2012 00:05:00 -0600

by Ted L. Gibbons
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Sometimes it's hard to forget our own mistakes - so it can be heard to believe God can fully forgive us if we repent. But Alma the Younger is a supreme example that God means it when He says "I will forgive."

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“Like the Bible, [the Book of Mormon] is a volume of holy writ that speaks forth the mind and will of the Almighty. Like the Bible, it invites men to forsake the world and live as becometh saints. Like the Bible, it has such an impact upon the hearts of men that they are prepared to die in defense of their beliefs. Already the ten thousands of Ephraim and the thousands of Manasseh have left Babylon and come to Zion with songs of everlasting joy because of it. And before the end of the world, which is the premillennial destruction of the wicked, and before the end of the earth, which shall not occur until after the Millennium, the Book of Mormon shall so affect men that the whole earth and all its peoples will have been influenced and governed by it.” (Bruce R. McConkie, The Millennial Messiah, p.170)

INTRODUCTION:

If you were a bookie making bets in Zarahemla between 100 and 92 BC, with the fore-knowledge provided by the Book of Mormon, you could have made a million dollars a day by giving long odds on this proposition: “I'm willing to wager 10,000 senines that Alma the Younger will one day be President of the Church!"

Anyone with money would have been delighted to get some of that action. The chance that Alma would one day be President of the Church was about the same as the chance that a curelom would learn to play the clarinet. But in about 91 BC, Alma became the leader of the Church, and the Chief Judge as well. All of which teaches us a major message of these chapters: WHEN THE LORD SAYS, "I WILL FORGIVE," WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS, "I WILL FORGIVE!"

1. LIMHI AND ALMA'S PEOPLE JOIN MOSIAH'S PEOPLE IN THE LAND OF ZARAHEMLA (Mosiah 25)

At the end of Mosiah, the Nephite nation consists of the Mulekites, the Nephites of Zarahemla, the people of Limhi, the people of Alma, and the children of the Amulonites (see Mosiah 25:12). These five groups became one group under the leadership of king Mosiah II, son of Benjamin. But “there were not so many of the people of Nephi and of the people of Zarahemla as there were of the Lamanites; yea, they were not half so numerous" (Mosiah 25:3).

The decision of Limhi and Alma and the Amulonites and the Mulekites to join the people of Mosiah is instructive. They had a desire, I suspect, to associate with people led by a prophet of God. They wanted the fellowship of disciples of Christ. The request of the people of Limhi for baptism shows their commitment to this concept.

Lucifer would like to divide us. If he could find a way to drive a wedge between us and the people of the Lord, between us and the prophet, between us and the Spirit, between us and members of our family, his efforts to make us miserable would be much more effective.

2. MANY CHURCH MEMBERS ARE LED INTO SIN BY UNBELIEVERS (Mosiah 26; 27:1-7)

The challenge of conveying the testimonies of the fathers to the hearts of the children confronts every generation. But some generations seem to have handled it better than others. Many Nephites must have agonized when they saw their children make some of the same mistakes and suffer some of the same consequences as their parents. The dilemma facing the Nephites in Mosiah 26:1-4 is a classic example.

Benjamin's sermon was instrumental in helping convert a nation (see Mosiah 2-5). Everyone who heard that sermon, believed, repented, and received a mighty change of heart. Is it possible that these converts assumed that their children would acquire the same conversion experience by osmosis? By association? By the trickle-down effect? We do not know, but is it possible that they were so converted that they failed to pay the price to convert their kids, never dreaming that their children would need more than the opportunity to live among believers? Whatever the cause,

it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God (Mosiah 26:1-4).

These members of the 'rising generation' had three problems, and the sequence in which those problems are mentioned is critical. First (because they had been too small to understand the words of Benjamin), they did not believe the traditions of their fathers. The did not believe in the resurrection nor in the coming of Christ. Their first problem was THAT THEY DID NOT BELIEVE in Christ and his mission.

And “because of their unbelief", the word of God was incomprehensible to them. Their second problem, which came directly as a result of the first, was that THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND. This increased the problem, for their hearts were hardened.

The result of this lack of understanding was that “they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church . . . they would not call upon the Lord their God (Mosiah 26:1-4). Simply stated, THEY WOULD NOT OBEY the commandments.

I believe that this is the way it always happens. When people will not obey the word of the Lord, it is not necessarily because they do not want to obey. It is often because they do not understand. And they do not understand because they do not believe. President Packer spoke of this matter in a Christmas devotional at BYU.

. . . we have every encouragement to adopt the attitude, "seeing is believing." The remarkable thing is that if you hold that spirit, you do not have the hope or the chance of ever finding Christmas as it ought to be, because, you see, it is just the other way around, "believing is seeing." (Boyd K. Packer, BYU Speeches, December 19, 1962, p.5, emphasis added)

People who believe will see—will understand—the meaning behind the commandments; and seeing, they will have an increased inclination to obey.

I have attended some wonderful firesides about the importance of missionary work and temple marriage. Stakes have reviewed their statistics, felt concern, and gathered the youth and some great speakers to proclaim the importance of this gospel duty that needed attention. We had a missionary fireside a few years ago in my current stake. A returned mission president spoke. A returned missionary spoke. A missionary who had just received his call also spoke. My son was electrified by the meeting. He had never been more excited to go on a mission. But he had always planned on going. My guess is that such a meeting will never inspire one who does not believe in Christ enough to give two years of his life to serve. The solution for those who do not want to serve is to help them believe in Christ. Everything else will come in its place, for when they believe they will understand. And when they understand, they will be more likely to obey.

Of course, one of the best ways to get people to believe in Christ is to get them into the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ. Perhaps part of the condemnation of which President Benson spoke so frequently, a condemnation related to our use of the Book of Mormon, devolved from our failure to use this book to impart belief and testimony to our children. When I first began to understand this principle from the first four verses of Mosiah 26, I discussed it with my wife. We decided that for one year we would focus on Christ in every Family Home Evening in order to assist our children in learning to believe in Christ and his mission.

The problem among the people of Mosiah increased.

For it came to pass that [the unbelievers] did deceive many with their flattering words, who were in the church, and did cause them to commit many sins; therefore it became expedient that those who committed sin, that were in the church, should be admonished by the church (Mosiah 26:6).

This was new ground of course, for “there had not any such thing happened before in the church" (Mosiah 26:10). Alma took the matter to the King who deferred to Alma, who then went to the Lord, “for he feared that he should do wrong in the sight of God" (Mosiah 26:13).

Note that the Lord answered Alma about this matter “after he had poured out his whole soul to God" (Mosiah 26:14). Consider that phrase. What does it mean to pour out your whole soul in prayer? This is a phrase that appears 12 times in the Book of Mormon. (Here is a list: Enos 1:9; Mosiah 14:2; 24:12; 24:21; 26:14; Alma 19:14; 34:26; 46:17; 58:10; Hel. 7:11; 7:14; Morm. 3:12) Even for one as righteous as Alma (in 26:20, the Lord covenants with Alma that he will have eternal life), the effort to obtain light and knowledge is a strenuous one.

As the Lord conveys his will to Alma, he makes a remarkable statement about forgivenessCa statement that is worth a prominent place on every refrigerator in Zion. “And whomsoever you receive shall believe in my name; and him will I freely forgive." (Mosiah 26:22, emphasis added) Words such as eagerly, graciously, readily, and willingly are synonyms for freely. Mark this verse and memorize it. If we come to Christ and believe in his name, he will eagerly, graciously, readily, and willingly forgive us. He will freely forgive! Note also that the first step for receiving this forgiveness is that we believe in his name. And he also promises “as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me" (Mosiah 26:30)

A related verse in Isaiah teaches this same truth:

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon (Isaiah 55:7, emphasis added).

The Lord's revealed pattern for dealing with those who sin is still followed by the Church (see Mosiah 26:29-32).

In a fast and testimony meeting last Sunday, a member of my ward pointed out a phrase in a chapter I have read often that speaks of this desire of the Lord to bless us. The phrase is in Luke 15:2: “This man receiveth sinners.”

3. ALMA THE Younger AND THE SONS OF MOSIAH ARE VISITED BY AN ANGEL (Mosiah 27:8-31; Alma 36:6-23)

Among the youthful unbelievers tormenting the Nephites were the son of Alma and the sons of Mosiah. Alma gets special attention in the verses of Mosiah 27, although we may assume that he acted in almost every affair with the support of the King's sons and a few others. Notice the descriptions of the wickedness of this man:

-(27:8) “very wicked"

-(27:8) “an idolatrous man"

-(27:8) “he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities"

-(27:9) “he became a great hinderment to the prosperity of the church"

-(27:9) he was guilty of “stealing away the hearts of the people"

-(27:9) he caused “much dissension among the people"

-(27:9) he provided “a chance for the enemy of God to exercise his power over [the people]"

-(27:10) “he was going about to destroy the church of God"

-(27:10) he was “seeking to lead astray the people of the Lord"

-(27:11) he was “going about rebelling against God"

-(28:4) he and his companions were “the very vilest of sinners"

-(Alma 36:14) he had “murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction"

This review of Alma's iniquities is sobering. I have referred to him from time to time as John the Baptist for Satan. He helped prepare the way for Lucifer to steal souls. How it must have pained his father's heart to see him in such a condition. We can imagine that a multitude of words had been spoken as the father tried to reason with his son. But the son would not listen and father Alma turned to the only possible source of assistance. Alma the elder might have said what Lincoln said:

"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go" (cited by Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, April 1963, p.109).

Finally an angel appeared to the rebels, telling them the Church was the Lord's (see Mosiah 27:13) and commanding them to leave it alone. The angel reported to Alma the Younger that the provocation for his visit was the prayers of Alma's father and others of the Nephite people:

Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith (Mosiah 27:14).

Every parent who has a wayward child ought to remember this verse. Prayers have great power! I am convinced that every prayer of faith by an anxious parent for a struggling child is heard and answered. Angels do not often appear, but someone appearsBa bishop, a home teacher, a friend, a seminary teacher with a powerful witness of the Church and the work of God and of the danger of opposing it. Unfortunately, not everyone is as willing to listen as young Alma was. Also, we would be making a mistake if we insisted that every conversion occur in the way that this one began to occur. President Benson taught:

We must be careful as we seek to become more and more godlike, that we do not become discouraged and lose hope. Becoming Christlike is a lifetime pursuit and very often involves growth and change that is slow, almost imperceptible. The scriptures record remarkable accounts of men whose lives changed dramatically, in an instant, as it were; Alma the Younger, Paul on the road to Damascus, Enos praying far into the night, King Lamoni. Such astonishing examples of the power to change even those steeped in sin give confidence that the Atonement can reach even those in despair.

But we must be careful as we discuss these remarkable examples. Though they are real and powerful, they are the exception more than the rule. For every Paul, for every Enos, and for every King Lamoni, there are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible. Day by day they move closer to the Lord, little realizing they are building a godlike life. They live quiet lives of goodness, service, and commitment. They are like the Lamanites, who the Lord said, “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not (3 Nephi 9:20). (Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, October 1989, p. 5).

Alma was paralyzed by the announcement of the angel. The sons of Mosiah picked up their friend and carried him home. The reaction of the father to the appearance of his comatose son was interesting: “and his father rejoiced . . ." Alma the elder had seen his son come home in a lot of ways, but never in a better way than this.

It came to pass after they had fasted and prayed for the space of two days and two nights, the limbs of Alma received their strength, and he stood up and began to speak unto them, bidding them to be of good comfort: For, said he, I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit (Mosiah 27:23,24).

Unless we are careful, the apparent simplicity of this spiritual rebirth may confuse us. Alma, wicked as he was, did not have an interview with an angel, sleep for three days, and then announce his conversion. He said this of the experience his soul had while his body lay unmoving, “after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God" (Mosiah 27:28, emphasis added). Does that sound easy?

Alma uses a word—a verb—in Mosiah 27: 28,29, that is most interesting. The verb is snatch. Alma praises the Lord who “in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning . . . I was in the darkest abyss . . . My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more." The word was used again in the Book of Mormon in Alma 26:17 by Ammon to describe what the Lord had done for him and his brothers.

Think of that snatching from the other side of the veil. Consider the willingness, indeed the longing of the Redeemer to apply his atoning blood to the spiritual wounds of these young men. Alma's witness that he was snatched “out of an everlasting burning" reminds me of a story told by Elder M. Russell Ballard.

I remember reading about a fire fighter in the eastern United States who ran into a burning house to rescue several children from an arson-induced fire. While his colleagues battled the blaze to keep it from spreading to other structures in the neigh- boyhood, this man dashed into the building again and again, each time emerging with a child in his arms. After rescuing a fifth child, he started into the inferno once more. Neighbors shouted that there were no more children in the family. But he insisted that he had seen a baby in a cradle, and he dove into the intensifying heat.

Moments after he disappeared into the fire and smoke, a horrifying explosion shook the building and the entire structure collapsed. It was several hours before fire fighters were able to locate their colleague's body. They found him in the nursery near the crib, huddled protectively over a life-sized . . . and practically unscratched . . . doll.

I'm overwhelmed by that story. I'm touched by the fire fighter's courageous and selfless devotion to duty, and I'm thankful that there are men and women in the world who are willing to put their lives on the line for the sake of others.

As I think about such heroism, however, I'm reminded that the most heroic act of all time ever was performed in behalf of all mankind by the Son of God. In a very real sense, all humanity . . . past, present, and future . . . was trapped behind a wall of flame that was fueled and fanned by our own faithlessness. Sin separated mortals from God (see Romans 6:23), and would do so forever unless a way was found to put out the fires of sin and rescue us from ourselves (Our Search for Happiness, p. 11).

Alma and his friends were not the only ones who have been snatched!

As Alma recounted his conversion to his son Helaman, he added significant insights to our understanding of the atonement and the willingness of the Lord to forgive. Perhaps those insights can be best summarized by this statement from President Boyd K. Packer:

You need not know everything before the power of the Atonement will work for you. Have faith in Christ. It begins to work the day you ask (Ensign, May 1997, p. 10).

As you know, there are many marvelous comparisons in the accounts of Alma's conversion in Mosiah 27 and Alma 36. One of those, for me, has always been especially moving. As Alma the Younger confronted the horror of his rebellion and sinfulness, and contemplated an appearance before the bar of God in such a woeful condition, he said,

the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror (Alma 36:14).

But after the change, what he called in Mosiah 27 being “born of the Spirit" (Mosiah 27:24), he said this:

Methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there (Alma 36:22, emphasis added).

Many times in the scriptures we are told that Christ has made possible through his suffering our reconciliation with the Father, for “all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18) Alma's transformation from inexpressible horror at the thought of God's presence, to a divine longing to be there, is among the most powerful witnesses in the scriptures of the reality of the power of that reconciliation.

4. ALMA AND THE SONS OF MOSIAH DEDICATE THEMSELVES TO TEACHING THE GOSPEL (Mosiah 27:32-28:20; Alma 36:24)

Latter-day Saints believe that individuals who are truly born of God gladly give a life of service to their fellow beings—they share the gospel message, sacrifice their own time, energy, and resources for the benefit of others, and in general hold high the Light of Christ, being faithful to all the commandments (Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Vol.1, BORN OF GOD).

The only proper response, when we are permitted to view ourselves and our lives in the startling light of gospel clarity, is to try to kindle other lights. Having received the witness, we are obligated to share the witness. As the Lord said, “It becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor" (D&C 88:81).

And now it came to pass that Alma began from this time forward to teach the people, and those who were with Alma at the time the angel appeared unto them, traveling round about through all the land, publishing to all the people the things which they had heard and seen, and preaching the word of God in much tribulation . . . (Mosiah 27:32).

But there was more to this mission than reflecting the light of Christ.

And they traveled throughout all the lands of Zarahemla, and among all the people who were under the reign of king Mosiah, zealously striving to repair all the injuries which they had done to the church, confessing all their sins, and publishing all the things which they had seen, and explaining the prophecies and the scriptures to all who desired to hear them (Mosiah 27:35).

CONCLUSION:

I was standing by the side of a busy street in Phoenix years ago, my 4-year old son Michael by my side, waiting for a break in traffic. The road had no parking spaces at the sides. The outside lanes ended at the curb where we stood, automobiles racing by just a few feet away from us. Suddenly my son jerked his hand from mine and started across the street. A vehicle swerved and raced by, missing him by the tiniest of margins. As my mind and eyes registered the impending disaster and the narrow escape, my legs gave way. I grabbed (snatched!) my son and sat down on the grass by the thoroughfare. My heart rate had leapt to triple digits in seconds. My legs could not support me. I was trembling in every extremity from the most devastating fear I had ever known.

That experience has come back to me from time to time as I have read about the conversion of the Sons of Mosiah and their associates, and about their longing to serve a mission among the Lamanites. They were motivated by their own rescue, and their own forgiveness. But most of all they were motivated by fear—

Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble (Mosiah 28:3).

What I had experienced at the thought of a physical catastrophe, they experienced at the thought of a spiritual catastrophe. And that is a lesson worth learning. Which is worse? To break an arm or a commandment? To poison a stomach or a spirit? To lose a limb or to lose a testimony. The record in Mosiah makes it quite clear how Alma and his companions would answer that question.

Professor discusses repentance and the miracle of forgiveness at BYU Devotional

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0700

source: news.byu.edu

Michael Dunn, an associate professor in the Department of Nutrition, Dietetics and Food Science, spoke to students Tuesday in the Marriott Center in a heartfelt devotional about repentance and the miracle of forgiveness.

In the New Testament account of the woman who approached Jesus in the house of Simon the Pharisee, as well as the record of Enos, the two experience their sins being forgiven.

FHE: Seeking Forgiveness

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:12:00 -0700

by Shauna Gibby
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: "When we sin, Satan tells us we are lost. In contrast, our Redeemer offers redemption to all—no matter what we have done wrong—even to you and to me." -C. Scott Grow

Conference Talk:
For more information on this topic read “The Miracle of the Atonement,” by C. Scott Grow, Ensign, May 2011, 108.

Thought:
When we sin, Satan tells us we are lost. In contrast, our Redeemer offers redemption to all—no matter what we have done wrong—even to you and to me.

(C. Scott Grow, “The Miracle of the Atonement,” Ensign, May 2011, 108.)

Song:
“Help Me, Dear Father,” Children’s Songbook, p. 99.

Scripture:
Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them. (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42-43)

Object Lesson:
Materials Needed: A doormat.

Procedure: Display the doormat. Point out that it is put in front of the door to let those who enter wipe the dirt and debris from their feet so they will not soil the inside of the home.

Liken the doormat to repentance. Repentance enables us to remove the things from our lives that are not clean. Explain further that unless we cleanse our lives of such debris, we will not be allowed into our Father’s house.

(Beth Lefgren and Jennifer Jackson, Object Lessons Made Easy, [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2010], p. 75.)

Story:
While preparing my talk for this conference, I received a shocking phone call from my father. He said that my younger brother had died that morning in his sleep. I was heartbroken. He was only 51 years old. As I thought about him, I felt impressed to share with you some events from his life. I do so with permission.

As a youth my brother was handsome, friendly, and outgoing―totally dedicated to the gospel. After serving an honorable mission, he married his sweetheart in the temple. They were blessed with a son and a daughter. His future was full of promise.

But then he gave in to a weakness. He chose to live a hedonistic lifestyle, which cost him his health, his marriage, and his membership in the Church.

He moved far from home. He continued his self-destructive behavior for more than a decade, but the Savior had not forgotten or abandoned him. Eventually the pain of his despair allowed a spirit of humility to enter his soul. His feelings of anger, rebellion, and militancy began to dissipate. Like the prodigal son, “he came to himself.”1 He began to reach out to the Savior and to make his way back home and to faithful parents who never gave up on him.

He walked the path of repentance. It wasn’t easy. After being out of the Church for 12 years, he was rebaptized and received again the gift of the Holy Ghost. His priesthood and temple blessings were eventually restored.

He was blessed to find a woman who was willing to overlook the ongoing health challenges from his prior lifestyle, and they were sealed in the temple. Together they had two children. He served faithfully in the bishopric for several years.

My brother died on Monday morning, March 7. The previous Friday evening he and his wife attended the temple. On Sunday morning, the day before he died, he taught the priesthood lesson in his high priests group. He went to bed that evening, never to awaken again in this life―but to come forth in the resurrection of the just.

I am grateful for the miracle of the Atonement in the life of my brother. The Savior’s Atonement is available to each of us—always.

(C. Scott Grow, “The Miracle of the Atonement,” Ensign, May 2011, 108.)

Activity:
One of the group leaves the room. While he is out, the other members of the group choose an object in the room which is in plain sight. The person returns to the room and guesses what the object is. For instance, he might say, “I guess that it is the piano.” The group does not tell him whether his guess is right or wrong at this point. He must go on and ask a question to try to verify his guess. He may ask any question about size, position in the room, color, texture, etc. For example if he wishes to check whether or not it is the piano, he would ask, “Is it more than four feet long?” If the answer is “No,” he knows it is not the piano and says, “I’ve made a mistake.” When he says this the family tries to help him by giving him a clue to guide him. He then makes another guess but is not told whether he is right or wrong until he asks a question to check his guess. If he is wrong again he says, “I’ve made a mistake,” and he gets another clue. Again he must ask a question. If he is wrong at the end of three guesses, the group will tell him what the object is.

The purpose of the game is to emphasize the idea that saying “I’ve made a mistake” brings benefits; for instance in this case the benefits are the clues given by the group to help him. If he fails to say, “I’ve made a mistake” when he has guessed wrong, his turn is over. If his guess is right, he should be told so at the end of his question. Allow each member to have a turn going out of the room and coming back to guess an object.

(Alma Heaton, The LDS Game Book, [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1968], p. 46.)

Refreshment
Fruit and Yogurt Parfait

1 quart blueberry yogurt
1 quart peach yogurt
1 quart raspberry yogurt
1 16-ounce box muselix cereal
4 cups raspberries
4 cups strawberries, quartered
4 cups blueberries
Raspberries, for garnish
Mint sprigs, for garnish

In tall parfait- style glasses alternate yogurt, muselix cereal, and berries to fill each glass. Garnish top with whole raspberries and a sprig of mint. Makes 20 parfaits.

(Lion House Weddings, [Salt Lake City: Eagle Gate, 2003], p. 63.)

To get to PDF version of this lesson, click here.

Family Home Evening ideas: Forgiveness

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:18:00 -0600

source: family-home-evenings.com

Purpose: Each of us has done something to hurt or disappoint someone else and most likely have had the same happen to us. These unfortunate acts can be small or they can be life-changing. It is sometimes easier for us to hold a grudge against someone who has wronged us, or hold back from forgiving ourselves if/when we’ve been the one to cause pain rather than exercise the powerful commandment of forgiveness. This lesson hopefully will help share some ideas on how to begin to forgive others and forgive yourself.

Song: “Lord, I Would Follow Thee”

Scripture: Doctrine & Covenants 58: 42-43

Adultery, forgiveness and divorce

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 11:41:00 -0600

source: MormonTimes.com

Mormon Life says: Does forgiving adultery also mean staying in the marriage? A deep article on a heavy topic. What do you think? Many years ago, two of my friends stood at the altar and were married before God, friends and family. Like any newlyweds, they were madly in love and saw nothing but children, happiness and loyalty as far as their loving eyes could see.

It turns out their eyes couldn't see as far as they thought. During a recent discussion with my wife, the woman confided that her husband had an affair.

Our friend had long ago acknowledged struggles in the marriage. They were often apart for days at a time on business. When they were home together, the husband's temper was sometimes short, his language coarse and his mood swings unpredictable. But his wife never suspected infidelity.

Forgiveness and a flying frozen turkey changed Vicky Ruvolo

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:13:00 -0600

source: deseretnews.com

Mormon Life says: An update on that great story told in Pres. Hinckley's 2005 talk, "Forgiveness." The woman's story is coming out in a new book. When you decide there is a greater purpose to your life, it can set events in motion in ways you never imagined. Just ask Vicky Ruvolo.

Six years ago I wrote a column about her ordeal after a teenager on a thoughtless joyride tossed a frozen turkey at the car she was driving on Long Island. The impact shattered her face and nearly killed her. But her reaction to what happened has brought life and renewal to many people.

Ruvolo decided to forgive her assailant, a then-19-year-old Ryan Cushing. She learned all she could about his background, then insisted on pressing for a light sentence. In the emotional courtroom scene that followed, Ruvolo and Cushing tearfully embraced.

Can I Really Forgive and Forget?

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:05:00 -0600

by Jonathan Swinton, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Swinton Counseling
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: By far, the most common relationship questions I have gotten from LDS Living readers have been about rebuilding trust after a violation. These are my thoughts on rebuilding a fractured relationship. How do I forgive when it still hurts so much? How do I get back to how it was before he/she lost my trust? I want to move on, but how do I know if I am ready? How do I control all my thoughts that make me question if I can trust her/him again?

These are examples of questions submitted to me by LDS Living readers. I have received significantly more requests to address trust and forgiveness than any other topic in recent months. Hopefully you will all find this article insightful for your specific situations.

This topic is extremely complicated and addressing it in one article may not be sufficient. However, I hope the tools I outline will be of some assistance to those trying to forgive and trust loved ones again.

We often hear the old adage "forgive and forget." But I have to be honest with you—I hate it. The cruel reality of forgiving others is understanding that we will never really forget what happened. Instead of burdening yourself with the unrealistic responsibility of forgetting, the focus should instead be on finding a way to let it go. Letting go is still extremely difficult, but it is possible.

The key to letting go is to recognize how your emotions are guiding your ability to let go. Research by Olson et al. (2002) brought together many years of research on the emotional experience felt when trust is violated. They identified three phases people go through while processing what happened and rebuilding trust. As you read the first two phases I encourage you to recognize that the difficult emotional experiences you may have felt or may be feeling at present are entirely normal given the difficult circumstances. The third phase is focused on rebuilding the trust.

Phase 1: Roller Coaster. As is evident by the name of this first phase, it is filled with intense emotions that cycle rapidly. It is normal after learning of the violation to feel a roller coaster of emotions. The intensity of emotions is typically directly related to how much you care about the person who violated your trust. If you love the person deeply, the roller coaster may feel more volatile.

During this phase the negative outcomes of trust violation are most apparent. Be patient; this will lessen with time. You may feel extreme feelings of anger, inadequacy, self-blame, and fear of the future. You may also experience increased confrontation with the person who violated your trust. Any pre-existing problems in the relationship may be magnified during this first phase. As you weather the roller coaster, expect that it will be difficult to manage conflicting feelings.

Phase 2: Moratorium. The roller coaster will be followed by an emotional shut down. You may try to close off all the difficult emotions associated with what happened. This is a natural and normal coping mechanism that is trying to remove the pain. You may also want to obsess about the details of the trust violation. This will makes things worse. It is tempting to know every detail, but it can make letting go more difficult.

You may also retreat physically and emotionally from the person who violated trust while surrounding yourself with people who care for you. Seeking the help of loved ones in trying to make meaning of trust violation is also common. It is important to recognize that you will never be satisfied with whatever meaning you may make of the situation. The hard reality is that a horrible thing happened; you didn't ask for it, you didn't want it, and you didn't deserve it. Recognizing that will help you move toward letting go.

An important note before we move on to the third phase, which focuses on trust building: Don't feel like you need to rush the process of letting go. The person who violated your trust will likely expect forgiveness much sooner than you feel ready to give it. This is normal.

However, it is also important not to drag the process of letting go for too long. There is no clear time period that works for every situation, but most that focus on letting go are able to return to a level of normal functioning with the person who violated trust within 3 to 6 months. If it takes more than a year, letting go may need to be a bigger focus. Stewing for longer than that, in most situations, can make the pain last longer than is necessary.

Phase 3: Trust Building. Trust building typically does not occur until the first two phases have been experienced. This can be a long and difficult process. It is important to be willing to re-engage with the person who violated your trust. Don't feel pressure to go over the top all at once. Just share how the experience made you feel on an emotional level. Give them the opportunity to apologize, take responsibility, and show their feelings of remorse. You will appreciate the apology more when you hear it in the trust-building phase.

Try to continue opening channels of communication and positive interactions with the person. Replacing the pain with positive, trusting communication and interactions can help you let go of the past pain. It will take time. Research has shown that negative interactions can hold significantly more weight on our minds than positive interactions. It will take a lot of positive interactions to outweigh the pain from the violation, but fostering the positive and focusing on a new fresh start will be extremely powerful if you allow it. Little by little, the positive interactions will rebuild the safety net of trust.

Weathering these phases is not easy. If you feel that you can’t do it alone, seek out professional assistance from a competent marriage and family therapist who has experience working with trust issues. If you live in Utah, I would be happy to help. Contact me to schedule an appointment (www.swintoncounseling.com).

You deserve to live free of the pain and burden you may feel. The beloved actress Harriet Nelson said, "Forgive all who have offended you. Not for them, but for yourself." You will feel much needed peace and freedom as you focus on forgiving and letting go. Holding on to the pain allows the negative event to maintain an unnecessary hold on your life. You need and deserve better. As with any major trial, also seek the help of the only one who really knows how you feel: the Savior. After all, it has been promised that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Phillipians 4:13).

* Is there a marriage or family relationship issue that you would like our relationship expert Jonathan Swinton to address in future columns? If so, send him an e-mail at jonathan@swintoncounseling.com.

---
Jonathan Swinton is an LDS Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He is an approved LDS Family Services Referred Provider, accepts Bishop referrals, and is available to provide marriage and family therapy services and weekend couple retreats to anyone interested. He is also available to speak on relationship issues at Relief Society and Ward activities. Contact him at Swinton Counseling: 801-647-9951, www.swintoncounseling.com.

Anatomy of a real apology

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 10:00:00 -0700

source: MormonTimes.com

I'm sorry, but when you look at what happened you'll see that I was completely justified. I'm sorry, but it wasn't my fault at all.

All right, OK, I'm sorry. I'm so-o-o sorry. Excu-u-u-u-uze me.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry I got you so upset. If I did anything wrong, I'm truly sorry for it.

All right, whatever I did, I apologize for it. Satisfied? If you don't accept my apology by Friday, then consider it withdrawn. I'll apologize if you apologize, it's not like you were perfect.

Have you ever heard these apologies? Ever used any of them?

Young Men Lesson 31: Forgiveness

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 18:00:00 -0600

by James E. Faust
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. My dear brothers and sisters and friends, I come before you humbly and prayerfully. I wish to speak on the healing power of forgiveness.

In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.

A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman's suffering family. As the milkman's family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, "We will forgive you."1 Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman's funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman's family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, "We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness."2 It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord's teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: "Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you."3

The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:

"To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:

"Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you've extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.

"Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives."4

How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example.

Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.

Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to "get even" with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

"Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves."5

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.

Forgiveness comes more readily when, like the Amish, we have faith in God and trust in His word. Such faith "enables people to withstand the worst of humanity. It also enables people to look beyond themselves. More importantly, it enables them to forgive."6

All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that "God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see."7

President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: "Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. . . . Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation."8

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become "less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed," which leads to greater physical well-being.9 Another of these studies concludes "that forgiveness . . . is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves."10

In our day the Lord has admonished us, "Ye ought to forgive one another," and then makes it requisite when He says, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."11

A sister who had been through a painful divorce received some sound advice from her bishop: "Keep a place in your heart for forgiveness, and when it comes, welcome it in."12 For the Amish, it was already there because "forgiveness is a 'heartfelt' component of [their] religion."13 Their example of forgiveness is a sublime expression of Christian love.

Here in Salt Lake City in 1985, Bishop Steven Christensen, through no fault of his own, was cruelly and senselessly killed by a bomb intended to take his life. He was the son of Mac and Joan Christensen, the husband of Terri, and the father of four children. With his parents' consent, I share what they learned from this experience. After this terrible deed, the news media followed members of the Christensen family around relentlessly. On one occasion this media intrusion offended one of the family members to the point that Steven’s father, Mac, had to restrain him. Mac then thought, "This thing will destroy my family if we don't forgive. Venom and hatred will never end if we do not get it out of our system." Healing and peace came as the family cleansed their hearts from anger and were able to forgive the man who took their son's life.

We recently had two other tragedies here in Utah which demonstrate faith and the healing power of forgiveness. Gary Ceran, whose wife and two children were killed on Christmas Eve when their vehicle was hit by a truck, immediately expressed his forgiveness and concern for the alleged drunk driver. Last February, when a car crashed into Bishop Christopher Williams's vehicle, he had a decision to make, and it was to "unconditionally forgive" the driver who had caused the accident so that the healing process could take place unhampered.14

What can we all learn from such experiences as these? We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us "to forgive all men"15 for our own good because "hatred retards spiritual growth." 16 Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts, just as He did for the Amish community, the Christensens, the Cerans, and the Williams family.

Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice.17 Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, "Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences."18 When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive "those who trespass against us,"19 even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.

Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven. In the words of one of my favorite hymns, "Oh, forgive as thou wouldst be e'en forgiven now by me."20 With all my heart and soul, I believe in the healing power that can come to us as we follow the counsel of the Savior "to forgive all men."21 In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes 1. In Joan Kern, "A Community Cries," Lancaster New Era, Oct. 4, 2006, p. A8.

2. In Helen Colwell Adams, "After That Tragic Day, a Deeper Respect among English, Amish?" Sunday News, Oct. 15, 2006, p. A1.

3. Matthew 5:44.

4. "Amish Shooting Victims," www.800padutch.com/amishvictims.shtml.

5. With Suzanne Simon, Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get On with Your Life (1990), 19.

6. Marjorie Cortez, "Amish Response to Tragedy Is Lesson in Faith, Forgiveness," Deseret Morning News, Jan. 2, 2007, p. A13.

7. "The Opening and Closing of Doors," Ensign, Nov. 1987, 60.

8. Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe (1954), 345.

9. Fred Luskin, in Carrie A. Moore, "Learning to Forgive," Deseret Morning News, Oct. 7, 2006, p. E1.

10. Jay Evensen, "Forgiveness Is Powerful but Complex," Deseret Morning News, Feb. 4, 2007, p. G1.

11. D&C 64:9, 10.

12. In "My Journey to Forgiving," Ensign, Feb. 1997, 43.

13. Donald Kraybill, in Colby Itkowitz, "Flowers, Prayers, Songs: Families Meet at Roberts' Burial," Intelligence Journal, Oct. 9, 2006, p. A1.

14. See Pat Reavy, "Crash Victim Issues a Call for Forgiveness," Deseret Morning News, Feb. 13, 2007, p. A1.

15. D&C 64:10.

16. Orson F. Whitney, Gospel Themes (1914), 144.

17. See Alma 42:25.

18. In Deseret Morning News, Feb. 13, 2007, p. A8.

19. Joseph Smith Translation, Matthew 6:13.

20. "Reverently and Meekly Now," Hymns, no. 185.

21. D&C 64:10.

Young Men Lesson 25: Forgiveness

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by Gordon B. Hinckley
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way. My dear brothers and sisters, I thank my Father in Heaven that He has prolonged my life to be a part of these challenging times. I thank Him for the opportunity of service. I have no desire but to do all that I can in furthering the work of the Lord, in serving His faithful people, and in living at peace with my neighbors.

I recently traveled around the world, more than 25,000 miles, visiting Alaska, Russia, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, India, Kenya, and Nigeria, where in this last place we dedicated a new temple. We then dedicated the Newport Beach California Temple. I have just been to Samoa for another temple dedication, another 10,000 miles. I do not enjoy travel, but it is my wish to get out among our people to extend appreciation and encouragement, and to bear testimony of the divinity of the Lord's work.

I often think of a poem I read long ago. It goes like this:

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, Where the race of men go by- The men who are good and the men who are bad, As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner's seat, Or hurl the cynic's ban;- Let me live in a house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

(Sam Walter Foss, "The House by the Side of the Road," in James Dalton Morrison, ed., Masterpieces of Religious Verse [1948], 422)

That is the way I feel.

Age does something to a man. It seems to make him more aware of the need for kindness and goodness and forbearance. He wishes and prays that men might live together in peace without war and contention, argument and conflict. He grows increasingly aware of the meaning of the great Atonement of the Redeemer, of the depth of His sacrifice, and of gratitude to the Son of God, who gave His life that we might live.

I wish today to speak of forgiveness. I think it may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed. There is so much of meanness and abuse, of intolerance and hatred. There is so great a need for repentance and forgiveness. It is the great principle emphasized in all of scripture, both ancient and modern.

In all of our sacred scripture, there is no more beautiful story of forgiveness than that of the prodigal son found in the 15th chapter of Luke. Everyone should read and ponder it occasionally.

"And when [the prodigal] had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

"And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

"And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

"And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

"I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

"And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

"And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

"And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son" (Luke 15:14-21).

And the father caused that a great feast should be held, and when his other son complained, he said to him, "It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found" (Luke 15:32).

When there has been wrongdoing and then there has come repentance, followed by forgiveness, then literally the offender who was lost is found, and he who was dead is made alive.

How wonderful are the blessings of mercy and forgiveness.

The Marshall Plan following World War II with the gift of millions of dollars helped put Europe on its feet.

In Japan, after this same war, I saw great steel mills, the money for which I was told had come from America, Japan's former enemy. How much better this world is because of the forgiveness of a generous nation in behalf of its former enemies.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord taught:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

"And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

"And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

"Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matt. 5:38-44).

Those are very strong words.

Do you really think you could follow that injunction? They are the words of the Lord Himself, and I think they apply to each of us.

The scribes and Pharisees brought before Jesus a woman taken in adultery so that they might entrap Him.

"But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

"And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

"And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

"When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

"She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:6-11).

The Savior taught of leaving the ninety and nine to find the lost sheep, that forgiveness and restitution might come.

Isaiah declared:

"Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;

"Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isa. 1:16-18).

The great crowning love of the Savior was expressed when in His dying agony He cried out, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).

In our day the Lord has said in revelation:

"Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:9-10).

The Lord has offered a marvelous promise. Said He, "He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more" (D&C 58:42).

There are so many in our day who are unwilling to forgive and forget. Children cry and wives weep because fathers and husbands continue to bring up little shortcomings that are really of no importance. And there also are many women who would make a mountain out of every little offending molehill of word or deed.

A time back, I clipped a column from the Deseret Morning News, written by Jay Evensen. With his permission, I quote from a part of it. Wrote he:

"How would you feel toward a teenager who decided to toss a 20-pound frozen turkey from a speeding car headlong into the windshield of the car you were driving? How would you feel after enduring six hours of surgery using metal plates and other hardware to piece your face together, and after learning you still face years of therapy before returning to normal - and that you ought to feel lucky you didn't die or suffer permanent brain damage?

"And how would you feel after learning that your assailant and his buddies had the turkey in the first place because they had stolen a credit card and gone on a senseless shopping spree, just for kicks? . . .

"This is the kind of hideous crime that propels politicians to office on promises of getting tough on crime. It's the kind of thing that prompts legislators to climb all over each other in a struggle to be the first to introduce a bill that would add enhanced penalties for the use of frozen fowl in the commission of a crime.

"The New York Times quoted the district attorney as saying this is the sort of crime for which victims feel no punishment is harsh enough. 'Death doesn't even satisfy them,' he said.

"Which is what makes what really happened so unusual. The victim, Victoria Ruvolo, a 44-year-old former manager of a collections agency, was more interested in salvaging the life of her 19-year-old assailant, Ryan Cushing, than in exacting any sort of revenge. She pestered prosecutors for information about him, his life, how he was raised, etc. Then she insisted on offering him a plea deal. Cushing could serve six months in the county jail and be on probation for 5 years if he pleaded guilty to second-degree assault.

"Had he been convicted of first-degree assault - the charge most fitting for the crime - he could have served 25 years in prison, finally thrown back into society as a middle-aged man with no skills or prospects.

"But this is only half the story. The rest of it, what happened the day this all played out in court, is the truly remarkable part.

"According to an account in the New York Post, Cushing carefully and tentatively made his way to where Ruvolo sat in the courtroom and tearfully whispered an apology. 'I'm so sorry for what I did to you.'

“Ruvolo then stood, and the victim and her assailant embraced, weeping. She stroked his head and patted his back as he sobbed, and witnesses, including a Times reporter, heard her say, 'It's OK. I just want you to make your life the best it can be.' According to accounts, hardened prosecutors, and even reporters, were choking back tears" ("Forgiveness Has Power to Change Future," Deseret Morning News, Aug. 21, 2005, p. AA3).

What a great story that is, greater because it actually happened, and that it happened in tough old New York. Who can feel anything but admiration for this woman who forgave the young man who might have taken her life?

I know this is a delicate and sensitive thing of which I am speaking. There are hardened criminals who may have to be locked up. There are unspeakable crimes, such as deliberate murder and rape, that justify harsh penalties. But there are some who could be saved from long, stultifying years in prison because of an unthoughtful, foolish act. Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.

The great Atonement was the supreme act of forgiveness. The magnitude of that Atonement is beyond our ability to completely understand. I know only that it happened, and that it was for me and for you. The suffering was so great, the agony so intense, that none of us can comprehend it when the Savior offered Himself as a ransom for the sins of all mankind.

It is through Him that we gain forgiveness. It is through Him that there comes the certain promise that all mankind will be granted the blessings of salvation, with resurrection from the dead. It is through Him and His great overarching sacrifice that we are offered the opportunity through obedience of exaltation and eternal life.

May God help us to be a little kinder, showing forth greater forbearance, to be more forgiving, more willing to walk the second mile, to reach down and lift up those who may have sinned but have brought forth the fruits of repentance, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more. For this I humbly pray, in the sacred name of our Redeemer, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Young Women Lesson 23: Forgiveness

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by James E. Faust
source: MormonLife.com

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman's suffering family. As the milkman's family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, "We will forgive you."1 Amish leaders visited the milkman's wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman's funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman's family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:

"To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.

Here in Salt Lake City in 1985, Bishop Steven Christensen, through no fault of his own, was cruelly and senselessly killed by a bomb intended to take his life. He was the son of Mac and Joan Christensen, the husband of Terri, and the father of four children. With his parents' consent, I share what they learned from this experience. After this terrible deed, the news media followed members of the Christensen family around relentlessly. On one occasion this media intrusion offended one of the family members to the point that Steven's father, Mac, had to restrain him. Mac then thought, "This thing will destroy my family if we don't forgive. Venom and hatred will never end if we do not get it out of our system." Healing and peace came as the family cleansed their hearts from anger and were able to forgive the man who took their son's life.

Notes

1. In Joan Kern, "A Community Cries," Lancaster New Era, Oct. 4, 2006, p. A8.

2. In Helen Colwell Adams, "After That Tragic Day, a Deeper Respect among English, Amish?" Sunday News, Oct. 15, 2006, p. A1.

3. Matthew 5:44.

4. "Amish Shooting Victims," www.800padutch.com/amishvictims.shtml.

5. With Suzanne Simon, Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get On with Your Life (1990), 19.

6. Marjorie Cortez, "Amish Response to Tragedy Is Lesson in Faith, Forgiveness," Deseret Morning News, Jan. 2, 2007, p. A13.

7. "The Opening and Closing of Doors," Ensign, Nov. 1987, 60.

8. Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe (1954), 345.

9. Fred Luskin, in Carrie A. Moore, "Learning to Forgive," Deseret Morning News, Oct. 7, 2006, p. E1.

10. Jay Evensen, "Forgiveness Is Powerful but Complex," Deseret Morning News, Feb. 4, 2007, p. G1.

11. D&C 64:9, 10.

12. In "My Journey to Forgiving," Ensign, Feb. 1997, 43.

13. Donald Kraybill, in Colby Itkowitz, "Flowers, Prayers, Songs: Families Meet at Roberts' Burial," Intelligence Journal, Oct. 9, 2006, p. A1.

14. See Pat Reavy, "Crash Victim Issues a Call for Forgiveness," Deseret Morning News, Feb. 13, 2007, p. A1.

15. D&C 64:10.

16. Orson F. Whitney, Gospel Themes (1914), 144.

17. See Alma 42:25.

18. In Deseret Morning News, Feb. 13, 2007, p. A8.

19. Joseph Smith Translation, Matthew 6:13.

20. "Reverently and Meekly Now," Hymns, no. 185.

21. D&C 64:10.

Thoughts on Gospel Doctrine Lesson 35

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 12:09:00 -0600

source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Lesson 35 studies Paul's council on overcoming tribulation, forgiveness, godly sorrow, and reconciliation as found in 2 Corinthians. Be sure to read the following commentary by Richard Lloyd Anderson, Bruce R. McConkie, Neal A. Maxwell, Ezra Taft Benson, and Robert L. Millet.

Richard Lloyd Anderson on Paul's Teachings on Sacrifice:

No one leads others to a higher level without experiencing unawareness, insensitivity, or even rejection from them. Few realize what it takes to help others until they also reach that higher level. How many children or students appreciate their parents and teachers before they become parents and teachers themselves? Christ and Paul both reveal the struggle to lead others spiritually, but there is a corresponding joy that is highlighted in 2 Corinthians: "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows" (2 Cor. 1:5, NIV). Paul "boasts" in this letter, but only to remind his enemies of his credentials on knowing Judaism, suffering, and the visions of the Lord. He does not boast of the inner peace of the Spirit, but his inner composure emerges in 2 Corinthians as vividly as the sacrifices and hardships that he consciously reviews. This book quietly shows that God's rich blessings are sure when one performs his errands.

Paul needs no earthly status, for he is satisfied to hold heavenly treasures with other Saints in "earthen vessels," referring to the common pottery around him (2 Cor. 4:7). He validates Jesus' beatitudes, for in literally hungering and thirsting he is filled with the joy of the Spirit. Can one be "blessed" when persecuted? Paul answers that he is "troubled on every side, yet not distressed . . . persecuted, but not forsaken" (2 Cor. 4:8-9). Part of Paul's burden of sacrifice was risking danger—some of these persecutions were mentioned in the biographical chapters of this book. He wanted his Corinthian detractors to know his integrity by the measure of his discomfort and his risking his life for the gospel: whether the blows of being beaten, whether prisons, whether mobs (2 Cor. 6:5), whether fatigue, hunger, or physical discomfort (2 Cor. 11:27). But how easily he moves from such outer afflictions to anxiety over the Saints' righteousness and the criticisms of self-righteous Saints. After exposure to thieves on lonely roads, he was certain to be mobbed in the cities when he preached the gospel (2 Cor. 11:26). And after making converts, he was certain to meet problems from many and rebelliousness from some. After all perils "without," he assumed "the care of all the churches" (2 Cor. 11:28). Paul's longest letters express his deep concerns over serious problems: "For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears" (2 Cor. 2:4).

What parent, leader, or concerned friend has not had the same feelings? Even Jesus wept over unrepentant Jerusalem. Paul was not sacrificing for an institution but for people. The principle of sacrifice means discomfort in finding his missionary contacts, means facing any scorn in sharing the gospel, means care in leading converts through immaturity to godliness. His list of sacrifices seems inexhaustible. With this record of what one apostle gave for the kingdom, can one smugly think of going to Paul's glory without being able to turn off the television and talk with family members and fill Church assignments? Missionaries look back at the "happiest years of their lives" because they sacrificed for the Saints and for converts. Parents similarly look back at their busiest involvement with their families. Bishops and Relief Society presidents experience the same illogical combination of giving beyond their capacity and receiving unimagined joy. Latter-day Saints are deeply committed to the principle of sacrifice, and the above examples show that selflessness is not a burden but the essence of life's opportunity. Jesus said, "Whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it" (Matt. 16:25). Paul was in the midst of visible dangers and demanding travel when he wrote 2 Corinthians, but he could say that the "inward man is renewed day by day" (2 Cor. 4:16, 2 Cor. 4:16). And he gives a convincing glimpse of the Lord's resources and rewards that were deep wells of refreshment as he labored "by pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned" (2 Cor. 6:6).

(Richard Lloyd Anderson, Understanding Paul [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1983], 130.)

Bruce R. McConkie on the Weaknesses of Men:

Weaknesses cause men to rely upon the Lord and to seek his grace and goodness. If all men excelled in all things, would any develop the humility and submissiveness essential to salvation? As shown by Paul's life, even the greatest prophets—for their own benefit and schooling—though strong in the Spirit, are weak in other things. Some have physical infirmities, others are denied financial ability, or are lacking in some desirable personality trait, lest any think of themselves more highly than they ought.

When Moroni complained to the Lord that the Gentiles would criticize the literary weaknesses of the Nephites, the Lord replied: "Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness; And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness." (Ether 12:26-28.)

2 Cor 12:7. A thorn in the flesh] Some unnamed physical infirmity, apparently a grievous one from which the Apostle suffered either continuously or recurringly.

2 Cor 12:7 Messenger of Satan] Whence come diseases and infirmities? From Satan or some other source? Without any question sickness, distress, and physical incapacity arise because of the laws which God has ordained. Obedience to the laws of health brings health; disobedience to these laws opens the door to disease and deformity. This principle is implicit in the very fact that Deity has given us such revelations as the Word of Wisdom. (D. & C. 89.) If it were otherwise, Satan would smite apostles and prophets, and the good and great in general, with disease and affliction, so that universal anarchy, disability, and plague would reign over all the earth.

On the other hand, the devil uses and delights in diseases and afflictions, and in some cases he has power to impose them, as when "Satan . . . smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown" (Job 2:7), or when Jesus loosed from her infirmity "a daughter of Abraham, whom," he said, "Satan hath bound, lo, these eighteen years.' (Luke 13:11-17; Acts 10:38.)

(Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965-1973], 2: 448.)

Neal A. Maxwell on Overcoming Tribulations:

An equally hard but essential doctrine, if we are to understand life itself, is the reality that since this is a gospel of growth and life is a school of experience, God, as a loving Father, will stretch our souls at times. The soul is like a violin string: it makes music only when it is stretched. (Eric Hoffer.) God will tutor us by trying us because He loves us, not because of indifference! As already noted, this sort of divine design in our lives clearly requires the omniscience of God. No wonder those who wrongly think of Him as still progressing with regard to the acquisition of knowledge will not be able to manage well the hard doctrines in this chapter.

Because our lives are foreseen by God, He is never surprised by developments within our lives. The sudden loss of health, wealth, self-esteem, status, or a loved one—developments that may stun us—are foreseen by God, though not necessarily caused by Him. It is clear, however, that this second estate is to be a learning and a testing experience. Once again, it is relevant to remind ourselves that when the Gods discussed us and our earth experience, their declaration was, "And we will prove them herewith." (D&C 98:12; Abraham 3:25.)

Clearly, we had to be moved on from the first estate—where the truth that "all these things shall give thee experience" no doubt seemed so very logical to us—moved on to this earth, where all these experiences are sometimes so inexplicable and even nearly intolerable.

C. S. Lewis put it well when he gave us the analogy of remodeling the human soul and a living house: "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace." (Mere Christianity [New York: Macmillan, 1960], p. 174.)

It should be clear to us, however, that when we speak of meeting life's challenges and suffering, it is wise to distinguish between the causes of suffering. There are different kinds of "remodeling."

Type I

Some things happen to us because of our own mistakes and our own sins, as contrasted with suffering brought on because we are Christian. Peter makes this distinction very well: "But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters. Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf." (1 Peter 4:15-16.)

Even indecision—about whether or not to be a believer—can produce its own unnecessary trial and sorrows, as President Brigham Young observed: "As to trials, why bless your hearts, the man or woman who enjoys the spirit of our religion has no trials; but the man or woman who tries to live according to the Gospel of the Son of God, and at the same time clings to the spirit of the world, has trials and sorrows acute and keen, and that, too, continually." (Journal of Discourses 16:123.)

Type II

Still other trials and tribulations come to us merely as a part of living, for, as indicated in the scriptures, the Lord "sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." (Matthew 5:45.) We are not immunized against all inconvenience and difficulties nor against aging. This type of suffering carries its own real challenges, but we do not feel singled out.

Type III

There is another dimension of suffering, and other challenges that come to us even though we seem to be innocent. These come to us because an omniscient Lord deliberately chooses to school us: "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth" (Hebrews 12:6); "Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith" (Mosiah 23:21).

Abraham, for instance, had his faith tried as he took Isaac up to Mount Moriah. The Lord later described this as a deliberate chastening experience for Abraham. (D&C 101:4.) Fittingly, Abraham, who was later to become a god, learned through obedience what it was to be asked to sacrifice his son. (D&C 132:37.)

A good friend, who knows whereof he speaks, has observed of trials, "If it's fair, it is not a true trial!" That is, without the added presence of some inexplicableness and some irony and injustice, the experience may not stretch us or lift us sufficiently. The crucifixion of Christ was clearly the greatest injustice in human history, but the Savior bore up under it with majesty and indescribable valor.

Paul indicated that "there was given to me a thorn in the flesh." (2 Corinthians 12:7-9. Italics added.) Use of the word given suggests that Paul knew wherefrom this affliction came. Further, as it must be with anyone who seeks sainthood, Paul had to be "willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him." (Mosiah 3:19.)

There may be those who choose to debate the significance of whether or not an omnipotent God gives us a particular trial or simply declines to remove it. The outcome is obviously the same either way; God is willing for us to undergo that challenge. Yet He promises us that His grace is sufficient for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9; Ether 12:26-27.) He even indicates that some of the weaknesses and infirmities given to us can actually become a strength to us. It is in our weakness and extremity that God's power is fully felt. Only when, of ourselves, we are helpless is His help truly appreciated.

Parenthetically, those who worry if they currently seem to be untested should not feel guilty or anxious, nor should they pray for trials. First of all, the absence of major tribulation can, ironically, produce the trial of tranquillity with its very grave risks of careless ease. Second, the Lord does require a few intact individuals and families to help others manage their trials and tribulations, even though these roles often rotate. (Moses, who was very "anxiously engaged" and who was in the midst of having his leadership of ancient Israel tested, was blessed by the solid counsel of an observing—but somewhat less involved—Jethro about delegation.) Third, life is not over yet, and there can be, as we have all seen, a tremendous compression of trials. Finally, the absence of Type I trials, those arising out of our own sins and mistakes, is obviously never to be regretted.

... The justice, mercy, and love of God blend appropriately in providing us with adequate growth opportunities in this life. We will not be able to say shruggingly at judgment time, "I was overcome by the world because I was overprogrammed or overtempted." For the promises are that temptation can either be escaped or endured. (1 Corinthians 10:13.) The promise is also that throughout tribulation God's grace is sufficient for us—He will see us through. (2 Corinthians 12:9; Ether 12:26-27.)

The thermostat on the furnace of affliction will not have been set too high for us—though clearly we may think so at the time. Our God is a refining God who has been tempering soul-steel for a very long time. He knows when the right edge has been put upon our excellence and also when there is more in us than we have yet given. One day we will praise God for taking us near to our limits—as He did His Only Begotten in Gethsemane and Calvary.

But would one so submit to a God who was not both omniscient and all-loving and enter the "furnace of affliction"? Might we not resent it all otherwise?

How much glorious inner comfort came to Christ in Gethsemane and Calvary from His knowing that, literally, He did "nothing" save that which "he seeth the Father do." (John 5:19-20.)

(Neal A. Maxwell, All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1979], 28.)

Richard Lloyd Anderson on Forgiveness and Repentance:

The gospel seeks to alleviate guilt, not produce it. Confusion, misunderstanding, and sin all produce guilt. Christ's atonement illuminates dim human paths with the glow of assurance. Everyone is included in "God so loved the world" (John 3:16). Yet many things are implied in God's giving of his Son—not only the Atonement, but the missionary commission to spread the message and include all willing in Christ's Church. This does not mean handing people tracts and ignoring them thereafter. Paul's church was a system of caring, above all for spiritual welfare. Paul says that God set the example by "the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering"—and that these qualities develop steadfast love, which "leads you to repentance" (Rom. 2:4, NKJB). Paul's Corinthian letters show him exercising just such concerned leadership to motivate the Corinthian Saints to repent.

Paul wrote his first letter not to wound, but "that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you" (2 Cor. 2:4). He encouraged the Saints to "forgive . . . and comfort" an offender (2 Cor. 2:7); to "confirm your love toward him" (2 Cor. 2:8). Paul's "increase of love" was especially appropriate because the Corinthians had taken seriously Paul's letter and the leader sent to follow it up. The apostle's heart went out to them because of "the obedience of you all, how with fear and trembling ye received him" (2 Cor. 7:15). Thus, Paul's duty of confrontation had produced only temporary pain because lives were changed (2 Cor. 7:8). A slight modernization clarifies Paul's powerful explanation of this "first principle": "Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death" (2 Cor. 7:9-10, NKJB).

There is indeed the bitter pain of the results of sin in a person angry because he immaturely refuses to learn. "It is hard for you to kick against the goads" (Acts 26:14, NKJB), the Lord had told Paul at his conversion. But when one sincerely reaches to God for growth, he takes the pain of sin as a lesson. This "godly sorrow" brings repentance "not to be repented of" because it rests on true principles and never needs to be changed. But the "sorrow of the world" tends to death—in one sense the actions themselves must die because they are counterfeit. The eternal way is the only permanent way to happiness. Second Corinthians shows that those accepting Christ must still struggle for righteousness in their lives, that repentance is a constant, ongoing process necessary for exaltation. Christ's atonement provided hope and forgiveness for the Corinthians but did not relieve them of the personal struggles to develop in their ability to live Christ's principles. As in modern revelation, the measure of their repentance was both regret and change of behavior. One truly repenting of sins "will confess them and forsake them" (D&C 58:43). Repentance is no more restricted to the time of conversion than is faith, for both are lifelong principles of growth in the gospel. Confession of Christ merely opens the way to learn to serve him, another name for repentance.

(Richard Lloyd Anderson, Understanding Paul [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1983], 130.)

Ezra Taft Benson on Godly Sorrow:

As we seek to qualify to be members of Christ's Church-members in the sense in which He uses the term, members who have repented and come unto Him-let us remember these principles. The gospel is the Lord's plan of happiness and repentance is designed to bring us joy. True repentance is based on and flows from faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. There is no other way. True repentance involves a change of heart and not just a change of behavior (see Alma 5:13). Part of this mighty change of heart is to feel godly sorrow for our sins. This is what is meant by a broken heart and a contrite spirit. God's gifts are sufficient to help us overcome every sin and weakness if we will but turn to Him for help. Most repentance does not involve sensational or dramatic changes, but rather is a step by step, steady and consistent movement toward godliness. ("A Mighty Change of Heart," address prepared [but not delivered] 1986.)

It is not uncommon to find men and women in the world who feel remorse for the things they do wrong. Sometimes this is because their actions cause them or loved ones great sorrow and misery. Sometimes their sorrow is caused because they are caught and punished for their actions. Such worldly feelings do not constitute "godly sorrow" (2 cor. 7:102 Corinthians 7:10).

Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. It is the sharp and keen awareness that our behavior caused the Savior, He who knew no sin, even the greatest of all, to endure agony and suffering. Our sins caused Him to bleed at every pore. This very real mental and spiritual anguish is what the scriptures refer to as having "a broken heart and a contrite spirit" (D&C 20:37). Such a spirit is the absolute prerequisite for true repentance.

We must take our sins to the Lord in humble and sorrowful repentance. We must plead with Him for power to overcome them. The promises are sure. He will come to our aid. We will find the power to change our lives. ("A Mighty Change of Heart," address prepared [but not delivered] 1986.)

We must be careful, as we seek to become more and more god-like, that we do not become discouraged and lose hope. Becoming Christlike is a lifetime pursuit and very often involves growth and change that is slow, almost imperceptible. The scriptures record remarkable accounts of men whose lives changed dramatically, in an instant as it were. Alma the Younger, Paul on the road to Damascus, Enos praying far into the night, King Lamoni. Such astonishing examples of the power to change even those steeped in sin give confidence that the Atonement can reach even those deepest in despair. ("A Mighty Change of Heart," address prepared [but not delivered] 1986.)

As we cleanse the inner vessel, there will have to be changes made in our own personal lives, in our families, and in the Church (see Alma 60:23). The proud do not change to improve, but defend their position by rationalizing. Repentance means change, and it takes a humble person to change. But we can do it. (CR April 1986, Ensign 16 [May 1986]: 7.)

(Ezra Taft Benson, The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 71.)

Bruce R. McConkie on Man Reconciling Himself to God:

Through his fall Adam brought spiritual death into the world; that is, man was cast out of the presence of God and died as pertaining to the things of righteousness or of the Spirit. As a consequence man became carnal, sensual, and devilish by nature and were thereby an enemy of God. (Mosiah 3:19; Alma 42:7-11.) Through his atoning sacrifice Christ brought spiritual life into the world; that is, man was given power to return to the presence of God by receiving the companionship of the Holy Spirit; he was able to become alive as to the things of righteousness or of the Spirit.

Reconciliation is the process of ransoming man from his state of sin and spiritual darkness and of restoring him to a state of harmony and unity with Deity. Through it God and man are no longer enemies. Man, who was once carnal and evil, who lived after the manner of the flesh, becomes a new creature of the Holy Ghost; he is born again; and, even as a little child, he is alive in Christ. "Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh," Jacob taught, "and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved." (2 Ne. 10:24.)

(Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965-1973], 2: 422.)

Neal A. Maxwell on Reconciliation:

The Atonement was itself an act of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19). Jesus "hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us . . . that he might reconcile [us] unto God" (Ephesians 2:14-16).

The theme of reconciliation is often found in the Book of Mormon as well: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved" (2 Nephi 10:24).

There is no such thing as one party reconciliation. "And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:18). God stands ready to reconcile us to Him, waiting with open arms to receive us (Mormon 6:17). There is no such thing as a solo embrace.

(Neal A. Maxwell, Not My Will, But Thine [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1998], 99.)

Robert L. Millet on Reconciliation:

Paul explains the reconciliation of fallen man to God made possible through the gospel. (5:11-7:16.) It is God who has initiated this process, "who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ." (5:18.) An individual who enters into the new covenant in Christ becomes a "new creature" (5:17), and the Atonement makes it possible for that person to repent of "trespasses" and achieve reconciliation with God the Father (5:19). Paul links this concept to his defense of the divine authority of his apostleship that follows, noting to the Corinthians: "Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us." (5:20.) His role as their priesthood leader has been a painful one, and he has had the unpleasant task of calling them to repentance. (7:4-9.) He is relieved that finally they have humbled themselves and that they "sorrowed to repentance." (7:9.) While God has initiated the possibility of reconciliation, it is the duty of the individual saints to finally make it effective in each of their lives by repentance and righteous living.

(Robert L. Millet, ed., Studies in Scripture, Vol. 6: Acts to Revelation [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1987], 73.)

A Christmas Glove

Fri, 27 Dec 2002 08:19:00 -0700

by Joseph Walker
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Mom didn't want much that first Christmas after she and Dad were married. Which was just as well. It was the end of America's Great Depression, and there wasn't much to be had. "All I want," she told Dad, "is some nice black gloves."

"But you have black gloves," he protested. "Nice ones. I gave them to you last year."

"I sort of lost one," she said. "The left one. So I've just been wearing the right one."

"Those were expensive gloves," Dad sighed. "And I know how much you liked them."

"I did," Mom said. "So if you could get me some new ones, I don't need anything else."

"I don't know," Dad said with a slight smile. "If you're just going to lose them . . . "

Mom was pretty sure Dad was teasing. Still, she didn't know what to expect when at last the time came to exchange Christmas presents. She would have been pleased with anything, but she really did need the gloves, especially for her left hand. She carefully removed the ribbons and paper and opened the box. There they were! Beautiful new black gloves!

"Oh, Bud, they're perfect! Just exactly what I . . . " She paused. "There's only one glove."

"Yes, that's right," Dad said, smiling proudly.

"But gloves usually come in pairs, don't they?"

"That's true. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find one glove. But there it is!"

"So where did you get it?" Mom wanted to know.

"I got it at Stanley's," he said forthrightly, almost proudly and certainly stupidly.

"Stanley's!" Mom recoiled as she pulled the glove off her hand. "You bought my Christmas present at Stanley's?" Immediately, Dad could see that he was in trouble.

"Well, I looked at some other places," he said, apologetically. "But that's the only place I could find the right glove. Er, left glove. Er . . . "

"That's my present? A glove from a second-hand store? What did it cost? A dime?"

"Twenty-five cents!" he blurted.

The fire shooting from Mom's eyes told Dad that revelation hadn't helped his situation.

The drive to Mom's parents' house for Christmas dinner passed without a word being spoken between them. When they arrived, Dad went with Mom's father and her little brother, Jack, to do some target shooting. Mom went straight to the kitchen to get some sympathy.

"Mother," she said, "you won't believe what Bud did for Christmas."

Her mother smiled and nodded. "Wasn't that something?" she asked.

"You mean . . . you knew?" Mom asked.

"Darling, we've been immersed in it! He was here for hours, looking for your lost glove. Then he started going to every store in town looking for an exact copy. Whenever he found one that was close, he'd buy it and bring it to me to approve. He must've bought 20 left-hand gloves!"

"But that's . . . so . . . "

"Silly? Yes, I thought so, too," Mom's mother said, shaking her head. "And I told him so. But he said, 'Wanda loves these gloves. I'm sure I can find another left glove somewhere.'" A lump began growing in Mom's throat.

"Now there's just one problem," Mom's mother said, picking up a stuffed pillow case. "What do we do with these?" Laughing, she emptied a pillow case full of black left-hand gloves.

The next hour passed slowly, as Mom awaited Dad's return. When at last he walked up the sidewalk she was standing at the door, her arms outstretched, a black glove on each hand.

Which, it turns out, was exactly what she wanted all along.