Mormon Life - Beauty tag

{Poll} Plastic Surgery

Thu, 03 May 2012 00:06:00 -0600

by Jamie Lawson
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: How do you feel about plastic surgery? Is it ever appropriate?

I remember the first time someone I knew chose to get plastic surgery.

My good friend often complained that giving birth to five children had left her body in less than ideal condition—and there were certain things that could not be improved with diet and exercise alone. After saving for a few years, she elected to have a tummy tuck and breast lift. “It’s not plastic surgery, it’s reconstructive surgery,” she told me.

The results were amazing. Not only did her figure look great, but she also enjoyed a new level of confidence that I had never seen in her before.

Another woman I know just finished her third round of liposuction. After getting breast implants, she decided the rest of her body could look better. So she had liposuction on her thighs, back, and upper arms. But now she believes her 42-year-old face doesn’t match her youthful body. She regularly receives Botox injections to help soften the wrinkles in her face, and she is now considering an eyelift.

To me, it seems there can be legitimate reasons for plastic surgery, but it can also be a slippery slope where someone can never be quite satisfied with his or her appearance when there is always another body part to improve upon.

So here’s my question: How do you feel about plastic surgery? Is it ever appropriate? How much is too much?

Take our poll and leave a comment below.

{LDSL Blog} Eating Disorders: My Life, Interrupted

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:40:00 -0600

by Kaela Worthen
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: My senior year of high school, I stopped eating. My freshman year of college, I started throwing up. And the two continued to alternate in my life for the next five years.

I’ve fought and abused my body, trying to destroy it. There were times when my goal really was to starve myself to death and fade away to nothing. Even when I wasn’t fully acting out in an eating-disordered manner, I still combated the desires to starve myself, to be thin as could be.

But I didn’t just starve myself or make myself throw up to be thin. It was a way of dealing with and avoiding depression, hurt, or other issues. It was a way of finding control when I felt I couldn’t handle things. It was an addiction. It was an illness. And even when I was strong enough to resist that temptation, I still desired it.

Even though those actions and thinking patterns are no longer a part of my daily life, the way they changed me is something I carry with me every day.

Some of the physical effects of the eating disorder linger in my body today. I still have a lot of food quirks. I have negative memories that pop up in association with certain foods or situations.

But more importantly, I've become better and stronger. As the Lord promises, weaknesses truly can be made strengths.

Now, I focus on eating healthy, fresh, and local foods. I focus on exercising so I can accomplish my goal of running a marathon, not so I can be thin. I see beauty in a woman who is strong and capable rather than gaunt and frail.

Recovery wasn't easy or quick. It took more than three years to climb out of it in varying stages, plateau at comfortable levels of normalcy, then slip back again even lower than I had been before. It took talking with doctors and counselors and friends, hours of self analysis and more than 50 pages of journaling on the subject, researching the illness, and slowly maturing and gaining confidence in myself as a human being with inherent divine nature.

All of those things were essential parts of my healing, but it wasn't complete until I fully turned myself over to God and followed the promptings I was given. I didn't know why I was supposed to do the things I felt I was being guided to do, until I gradually realized that because I was following those promptings, I hadn't felt the desire to skip a meal or throw up in days--no, weeks--now months.

After a while, I realized it wasn't coming back. The greatest miracle I have witnessed in my life happened inside me without my realizing it. And now, my eating disorder lingers with me today in one most important way: I know God loves me and he healed me.

It is possible to recover from an eating disorder. It may not come quickly, and it may not come the first, second, or 12th time. It may not come if you only try one approach. But if you rely on the Lord, in addition to all the other resources available, it can come.

Looking back at the years I struggled, I don't regret them. Without them, I wouldn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much God loves me and looks out for me. I wouldn't have had the trials that make me stronger now. I wouldn't be able to share my experiences with others as a source of hope or empathize with those who need a listening and understanding ear when they're struggling with their eating disorder. Even though, in many ways, my eating disorder was a hindrance to my life, in the end, it became a catalyst for my progression.

As Marleen Williams said in my interview with her, "Your body and your spirit are your soul; your body is your eternal ally. You're supposed to work together in a good relationship with your body. And when you're in a good relationship, you listen to each other. You don't subjugate each other. You don't get in a power struggle with each other. It's a cooperative, collaborative relationship."

I try to live by that every day.

To read Kaela's full article on eating disorders and their impact on body, mind, and spirit, click here.

Eating Disorders: Not Just About Food

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:05:00 -0600

by Kaela Worthen
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Anorexia and bulimia are about more than food, and they aren't just a "phase." They're serious illnesses involving the body, mind, and spirit, and all three must be addressed in order to save the sufferer. I know – I struggled with eating disorders for five years.

My senior year of high school, I stopped eating. My freshman year of college, I started throwing up. And the two continued to alternate in my life for the next five years.

Some people didn’t understand my seemingly irrational behavior. “Just eat,” some would say. “Stop forcing yourself to throw up.” But I couldn’t. Because those actions were just physical symptoms of a deeper problem: I wasn’t good enough.

When I felt I couldn’t live up to the expectations of myself and others, I turned to food—or, more specifically, the lack thereof—as a coping mechanism. When I couldn’t handle everything I was given to deal with in life, I turned to anorexia as a support. Because the more out of control things got, the more I had to find something I could control. And that something was food, calories, exercise, my weight. When I was overcome with self-hatred, I turned to purging as a way to try to empty myself of all of myself that disgusted me.

Eating disorders aren’t about the food, and they aren’t just a phase that someone gets over. They are serious illnesses about much more than the calorie content and carb count of every item on the table, and the effects—on body, mind, and spirit—run deeper and broader as well. But in the midst of all the pain an eating disorder can cause to those who suffer from it and those who love them, there is a bright light of hope in recovery.

Body

Eating disorders are a physical manifestation of an intangible problem. Because women often can’t fix something they can’t see or touch, and because some situations are out of their control, they aim for the closest thing they can fix and control: their bodies.

“Satan is so jealous of our bodies that he wants us to hate our bodies and to mistreat them, and he uses eating disorders as a way for that to happen,” explains Beth Allen, a recovered anorexic and bulimic who now leads a 12-step eating disorder recovery program in Arizona through the Church.

And mistreatment is an understatement. The documented effects of eating disorders upon the body are devastating.

Anorexia, which consists of severe calorie restriction and is often accompanied by excessive exercise, can result in an abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, increased risk for heart failure, osteoporosis, low body temperature, infertility, lowered immune system function, muscle loss and weakness, fainting and fatigue, dehydration and kidney failure, hair loss, and, at advanced stages, the development of a furry peach fuzz of hair over the whole body called lanugo.

Bulimia is equally destructive. The repeated cycles of taking in extremely large amounts of food in a brief period of time and then forcing vomiting (commonly referred to as a binge-and-purge cycle) causes electrolyte imbalances, irregular heartbeats and heart failure, gastric rupture, swollen glands and facial features, tooth decay and gum disease, ulcers, headaches, sore throats, and inflammation and possible rupture of the esophagus.

But it’s not just the systemic symptoms that are problematic. The brain itself is also altered. “When you have an eating disorder, it changes everything,” says Michael Berrett, a licensed psychologist and CEO and co-founder of eating disorder recovery clinic Center for Change. “It changes your hormone levels, the biochemistry of the brain, the level of neurotransmitters in the nervous system. It changes everything, to the point that in severe cases, body distortions can actually be hallucinations—it’s to that gravity. . . . It’s not ‘just a phase.’ Let’s get serious about these illnesses. They can—and do—kill people.”

In fact, one in ten diagnosed with anorexia die from it, making it the most deadly mental illness out there. With so many and such drastic repercussions, it seems obvious that such risks would not be worth the rewards, yet, for many, they continue to take them.

Mind

Eating disorders are a coping mechanism, a way of handling life when a person doesn’t know how to deal with struggles or emotions. People (most commonly women, though some men are affected as well) turn to them in pursuit of happiness and solace they feel they cannot find elsewhere. Sometimes they feel it will give them control, make them stand out or achieve perfection, give them a sense of identity, or earn them approval. Other times it is a manner of communicating pain, atoning for mistakes, or avoiding responsibility.

And it’s not just teen and college-age girls who are struggling. Older women are susceptible to relapses, and often they can have their first experiences with eating disorders in middle age.

“The pressure to look a certain way is not just for the younger; it’s felt by young adults and middle-aged and mature women. It’s ever present,” says Berrett. “Any time there’s a difficult life transition—divorce, financial duress, loss of any kind, or any of the difficult things that can and do happen—in those times people are more vulnerable and naturally seek something that will help them feel like they have some sense of control in their lives and like they are bettering their lives in some way.”

Unfortunately, what starts as something to make one’s self feel better quickly becomes something that makes life worse and increases the self hatred that instigated the actions in the first place. What begins as a control mechanism quickly spirals out of control until it controls every single thought and action in every single moment.

“It becomes everything,” says Berrett. “It is their life. In the development of the illness, it goes from an attempt to improve one’s life to a way of coping with life and then to a full-blown addiction. Eventually, it becomes to them their complete identity.”

Spirit

When an eating disorder becomes the sole identity of a person, the sole manner of existing, it doesn’t matter what the physical effects are. And when the body and mind are so drastically affected, the spirit is, too.

“It chases the Spirit away because it becomes an obsession and it takes up your whole thought processes,” says Allen, “and you can’t have the Spirit with you—you can’t even let Him in. For me, when I was struggling really bad with [my eating disorder], it was easier for me to make other bad decisions.”

But there is still hope.

It has been thought in the past that eating disorders would be more common in the Church than in other cultural groupings, due to the high pressure of perfectionism, focus on dating and marriage, and other risk factors, such as socioeconomic status and race. Studies, though, are more and more suggesting the opposite.

One found that religious women who had a secure attachment to God felt less pressure to be thin and experienced less body dissatisfaction and dieting behavior compared to those with a less defined relationship with God. Specifically, Mormon women were found to be more intrinsic in their religion when compared to some members of other faiths and also to have lower levels of disordered eating.

A recent BYU study seems to confirm this finding, though the results have not been finalized. While BYU professor Lane Fischer, who headed up the study, and his co-workers expected to find a higher incidence of eating disorders at BYU, they were actually lower than rates at other universities throughout the nation, and eating disorder risk continued to decrease the longer students stayed at the university. Fischer has a few hypotheses to explain this surprising find.

“When you come here as a freshman, you immediately have a visiting teacher, a home teacher, a family home evening group, a bishop, and a Relief Society president to look out for you,” he explains. “[You] have an immediate social support system.”

One of the buffering agents against some of the influences of the world that would normally contribute to the causality of an eating disorder, Fischer believes, is the doctrine taught within the Church—teachings like the sacredness of the body and our inherent divine worth. Teachings like these can be instrumental not just in preventing eating disorders but in recovery as well.

Recovery

Before we talk about that, though, let’s get one thing clear: eating disorders are an illness, and they do require professional help to be overcome.

“I think one thing that makes it difficult for some [people] actively engaged in a theistic religious faith—including the LDS faith—is the tendency to believe that if they were living good lives, living the gospel well, connected to God, and doing all the right things, they wouldn’t have these problems,” says Berrett. “And so their answer becomes, ‘I’ve got to be and do better.’ In this state of inappropriate guilt and blame, there is less willingness to reach out for help.”

But that’s a mistake, says Marleen Williams, a professor of counseling psychology at BYU and editor of Matters of the Mind. “If your car breaks down, you need to see a mechanic,” she explains. “If you get cancer, you need to see a cancer specialist. If you have a heart attack, you need to see a cardiologist. Then you couple that with faith, prayer, and a priesthood blessing. . . . You can rely on blessings and spiritual things, but you also need to deal with the medical end of the eating disorder, because it is a serious medical problem.”

That being said, the gospel can be an amazing tool in assisting with recovery. Several studies and interviews with both current and former eating disorder patients have concluded that many women cite spirituality as a crucial part of their recovery.

“When women with eating disorders affirm their faith in God and seek to grow spiritually, their strength and capacity to cope with and overcome the problems and challenges of life improve, regardless of whether their challenges are emotional, physical, relational, spiritual, or educational,” Randy Hardman, PhD, explains in Matters of the Mind.

While eating disorders are a traumatic and life-altering disease, they can be overcome. You can reach the point at which your eating disorder fades—eventually to something you think about but don’t act upon, and eventually to something you don’t think about at all—until it ceases to exist. I am a living testament of that. Two years ago, I thought it would be a part of my life forever. You may feel the same way, but it’s not true. You can get help, you can recover, and you can live a normal life again.

To learn more about the author's personal experience with an eating disorder, click here.

One of the many contributing factors to body image dissatisfaction and disordered eating can be the images we see daily in the media. You can learn more about the harmful effects of teh negative beauty images in the media and how to comat them at ldsliving.com/beautyredefined.

This article was originally published in LDS Living's March/April 2012 issue. Click here to learn more.

Take Back Beauty

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:02:00 -0600

by Lexie and Lindsay Kite
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: We know women are capable of much more than being looked at. These are our strategies for taking back beauty and teaching girls and women everywhere how to be confident in their God-given loveliness.

We are 26-year-old twins finishing up the last leg of our PhDs studying how women are represented in media. Our nonprofit work, Beauty Redefined, is all about rethinking our ideas of “beautiful” and “healthy” that we’ve likely learned from profit-driven media that thrives off female insecurity. We believe it so much we got that message up on billboards and sticky notes we send across the world! We know our bodies are gifts from a Heavenly Father who loves us and knows what we are capable of becoming. Below are several research-driven strategies we can use to recognize and reject harmful messages about female bodies and then redefine “beauty” for ourselves in much more worthwhile ways.

Stop Negative Self-Talk: Too many girls and women have a constant script of mean thoughts about themselves running through their minds. That kind of negativity is not motivational or inspirational. In fact, it tends to show up on the outside. Recent studies show us that girls who don’t like their bodies become more sedentary over time and pay less attention to having a healthy diet. And that makes sense. If you think you’re gross and worthless, why would you take care of yourself?

Think Nice Thoughts Instead: On the flipside of the last study, research has found that girls who feel good about themselves, regardless of their weight, are more likely to be physically active and eat healthy. They are less likely to gain unnecessary weight and they make healthy lifestyle choices way into the future. Remember that what we THINK about our bodies has a strong connection to how we TREAT our bodies.

Unreal Ideals: Remember it is reasonable to assume no image we ever see of a woman in media has gone un-manipulated. As early as 1991, a media industry insider referred to the digital alteration of women as a “retouching epidemic.” And today magazine editors refer to airbrushing as an industry standard. Plus, vertical film stretching to make women appear taller and thinner is a common technique, as are filtered lenses on cameras and soft lighting, which do away with wrinkles, pores, and other so-called “blemishes.” Remember, even the ideally beautiful celebrities don’t fit the ideals!

Go on a Media Fast: Choose a day, a week, a month, or longer to steer clear of as much media as you can. That way, you can see how your life is different without all those messages and images, and when you return to viewing and reading popular media, you will be more sensitive to the messages that hurt you and those that are unrealistic.

Fight for Fitness: You can choose anything you want to work toward, whether that is running a mile in a set time, doing a certain number of push-ups or sit-ups, etc. When you set a fitness goal and work toward it, you will find you spend less time thinking about the way your body LOOKS and more time focusing on what it can DO. Reminding ourselves and encouraging others to engage in physical activity as a means for improving physical and mental health, rather than a strategy for achieving unattainable beauty ideals, is vital.

The Power of Kindness: Choose to compliment the girls and women in your life for character traits, actions, or talents you admire about them. When we choose to only acknowledge each other’s appearance, we reduce ourselves to our bodies. Females are capable of so much more! The compliments that stick with you for a lifetime are those that acknowledge your valuable qualities, like a good attitude, selflessness, talents, honesty and so much more that has nothing to do with a cute outfit or pretty hair.

Object to Objectification: Girls and women exposed to sexually objectifying messages (which are inescapable in today’s media landscape), prove to experience body hatred, learn to primarily view and value themselves for their outward appearance and actually endorse objectifying images in the future. And a particularly scary fact is that research proves these harmful messages leave females preoccupied with their physical appearance, which then hurts their performance in school (including mathematics, logical reasoning, spatial skills) and athletic activities. Yikes.

Redefining Healthy: Getting back to reality involves figuring out what “health” really means – and it’s not what media shows us. For-profit media like fitness magazines or TV shows would have us believe health and fitness are all about what we look like, and any doctor can tell us that simply isn’t true. Talk to a doctor or other health specialist to figure out what healthy really means for you individually. Work with them to set healthy goals for yourself that aren’t based off profit-driven beauty ideals.

Be Critical of Media, Not Yourself or Others: While the U.S. is the No. 1 producer and exporter of media, we are also the only industrialized country in the world without some form of media literacy in public school curriculum. We need to feel an obligation to put media under closer inspection for the influence it has in our lives. Next time you are flipping through a magazine or watching a movie, train yourself to ask important questions about what you see. If you don’t like the answers you find, remember you can turn away from the messages that hurt you!

Questions to ask yourself:

Do you feel better or worse about yourself when viewing or hearing this media?

Who is advertising here? (Look at the ads and you’ll see who is paying the bills for your favorite media messages)

Who owns the media messages you choose? (Research the company and you’ll find out who the powerful decision makers are behind the scenes)

Is the media you read and view promoting real health or impossible ideals meant to make you spend money and time?

How are females presented here? Are they valued for their talents and personality or just being looked at? Do they look like the females in your life?

To view more strategies from Beauty Redefined, go to beautyredefined.net.

{Single Saints} Inner Beauty Is Not Enough

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:05:00 -0700

by Ryan Kunz
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Author’s note: Though my message was meant to be encouraging, I failed to clarify a few sensitive points. I didn’t consider that in today’s unrelenting assault of negative body messages, my blog might be misconstrued as an invitation to conform to society’s ideals. We should recognize that we each have a personal best that exists independently of what society tells us, one that should be attained out of a sense of personal achievement, not solely to attract a mate. I was wrong to address the article primarily toward women, because men can be equally guilty of failing to care for themselves. I also realize that one cannot simply look at another person and make an accurate judgment on how well that person cares for him- or herself. Nevertheless, the overall message of this blog remains: “Figure out your personal health and appearance standard, then work toward it.” Please bear that in mind as you read the following.

We’ve all heard that beauty is on the inside, in the eye of the beholder, or somewhere else beyond the realm of the physical. And while I will not argue against the idea that inner beauty—a combination of a good personality, a shining spirit, and other internal qualities—is crucial, I will contend that beauty on the outside should not be neglected.

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among women. On Facebook and in conversations with girls, I’ve heard girls embrace supposed feminine liberation and tell us that they’re beautiful no matter how they look. Before I have to dodge a flurry of thrown stiletto heels, let me clarify: Yes, you are beautiful. You’re a daughter of God, and don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. But . . . you shouldn’t let the “beauty on the inside” argument hinder your quest to achieve your physical ideal. Some girls I know tell themselves it doesn’t matter how they look because they’re beautiful on the inside, and then they just . . . well, let themselves go.

I'm a single male and that reflects in the audience I write to, but regardless of our marital status or gender, we should all take care of our bodies. After all, aren't they gifts from God? We're instructed to abstain from tattoos and extra piercings in an attempt to show respect for our bodies, and shouldn't that respect be extended to how we treat the body itself? We are stewards of our mortal shells, and as such should care for them like the prized possessions they are.

For those who are still dating, failing to take care of yourself can easily delay association with potential eternal mates. The right person will love you eventually, but it’s your physical aspect that often catches the eye. If you don’t take the time to care for yourself, that doesn’t exactly encourage anyone else to care for you, either. How many people who would love you once they got to know you have passed you over? Maybe you’ve even been the one who’s passed on someone because that person failed to care for his or her God-given body.

If you are truly happy with the body you have, I’m glad for you. We should recognize that none of us is going to have a perfect body, at least not at this stage in our eternal existence. (Or maybe you already do have a near-perfect body. Congrats. You should still keep reading.) Women, we guys will accept that not all of you are swimwear models if you accept that few of us have managed the abs of a certain werewolf from Twilight.

I’m sorry if I come across as harsh. There are also plenty of people who go the opposite direction and become Barbie dolls with personalities as bland as the plastic dolls they so resemble. In our journey to improve our inner and outer selves, we should seek balance. We should be satisfied with who we are, but we should strive for healthy improvement. This principle applies to men as well. So how do both genders reconcile this paradox? How do we attain the right body while neither being satisfied with the sub-par nor going too far?

I propose that we find a realistic perception of the person we can become on the inside and outside. Discovering our exact physical potential may take some time, but we can gain a reasonable expectation of the best we can be. Then we simply become content with the progress we’re making toward being our best selves.

President Kimball said, "How nice and easy would it be if we had a magic wand! But we haven't. You might take a careful inventory of your habits, your speech, your appearance, your weight, . . . and your eccentricities. . . . Take each item and analyze it. What do you like in others? What personality traits please you in others? Are your dresses too short, too long, too revealing, too old fashioned? Does your weight drive off possible suitors? Do you laugh raucously? Are you too selfish? Are you interested only in your own interests?”

Elder Joe. J. Christensen adds, "The Lord expects us to do the best we can with what he has given us. President McKay said, 'Even a barn looks better when it's painted.'"

Girls (and guys), a little regular exercise and some healthy eating habits will be a good start toward becoming that reasonable paragon. Go running. Take a racquetball class. I think you’re capable of filling in the rest of this list yourselves. I really believe that as we all set attainable physical goals and work to reach them, we can be satisfied both with ourselves and with what we’re becoming.

What do you think? Am I off base? Do I have unreasonable expectations for girls?

Thoughts on the Next Big Birthday

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 09:35:00 -0600

source: segullah.org/blog/

Mormon Life says: A great post on aging and loving ourselves. What are some goals you want to accomplish by your next big birthday? I am turning thirty this week. Really. Finally. And I haven’t dreaded it at all. I don’t fear wrinkles. I’m not scared of being older than I have been. I like to think I am the type of person to embrace it. I like myself ever so much more at thirty than I did at fifteen, nineteen or twenty-three. And I am beginning to realize why. I know myself better now than I did then.

At one point I dreaded aging because I was afraid of being unsatisfied with myself. I feared that I would reach a milestone and only see what I hadn’t done, what I wished I would have done, and felt miserable at the waste of time. How I should’ve taken those art and guitar classes I have always wanted to. I could’ve gone to graduate school, learned to crochet, and gotten over the asthmatic anxiety that snorkeling gives me. I didn’t do any of those things.

Instead of marking achievements and the lack thereof, I am learning to look at who I have become rather than just what I have done.

Beauty Secret of Mormon Wives, 1923

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 12:10:00 -0700

source: keepapitchinin.org

Mormon Life says: This is pretty funny. It's an ad from 1923 (see it by clicking on the link). This newspaper and magazine advertisement dates to 1923.

Beauty Redefined: Rejecting the Media's Impossible Standards

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 00:07:00 -0700

by Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: They’re sad facts that many of us know: You will never see an average American woman represented in the mass media as a “beauty ideal.” And it is completely reasonable to assume that every image of women you see in the media has been digitally manipulated. So why is that where we get our standard for what is normal and beautiful? In a world where a constant—and we mean constant—flow of media images far exceeds the number of women we could ever see face to face, this abnormally thin and digitally-enhanced feminine ideal has become the norm in our minds. A counterfeit, dangerous, unattainable norm.

Be Ye Therefore “Perfect”?
Unfortunately, we as Latter-day Saints are not immune to these harmful media messages. Though no religion-specific data exists to show rates of eating disorders or body image issues, numerous accounts from diligent parents, priesthood and auxiliary leaders of struggling girls, and women speak for themselves. And one of Forbes magazine’s annual rankings may indicate that our quest for perfection took a wrong turn somewhere along the way: Salt Lake City, home to the worldwide headquarters of the LDS Church (and where an estimated 50 percent of the population is LDS), was ranked the “Vainest City in the Nation” in 2007 and 2008, and was in the Top 5 in 2009. This ranking is due to the city’s record-breaking amount spent on beauty products and treatments like Botox, an amount that is ten-fold the amount spent in cities of comparable size. If you’ve looked at the billboards along any Utah freeway, you won’t be shocked to hear Salt Lake City has the most plastic surgeons per capita, at six per 100,000 residents, trumping New York City and Los Angeles.

When Thin is Too “In”
In the last 15 years, the media’s depictions of women have compacted into a standard of beauty that is further from reality than ever. Consequently, women’s body hatred has skyrocketed. When asked their ideal body weight, 75 percent of U.S. women chose a number that was actually 10 percent or more underweight. This is particularly significant considering 67 percent of U.S. women are classified as overweight or obese by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And as obesity doubled in incidence from 1980 to 2004, there was also an incredible rise in eating disorders during the same time period.

Women’s reported bodily “disgust” doesn’t seem so shocking when we consider the dramatic shift in our definition of beauty over the past 60 years. Take the iconic Marilyn Monroe of the 1950s, at 5 feet 5 inches tall and 140 pounds during the height of her fame. Though corseted and exceptionally busty, her figure represents a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of 23.3. (BMI is the standard used by the World Health Organization to determine a healthy weight.) Her fuller figure stands in stark contrast to today’s beauty elite, who most often take the form of a rail-thin and surgically enhanced feminine ideal. The “Sexiest Woman Alive,” as ranked by men and women alike, is actress Angelina Jolie, at 5 feet 7 inches tall and close to 100 pounds, which equates to a 15.7 BMI.

This is startling, considering a BMI of 18.5 and below is considered “underweight,” a distinction that can result in dire consequences like malnutrition, bone loss, organ failure, infertility, and a severely weakened immune system—none of which we ever hear about in a media industry that represents underweight as normal.

The Lies We Buy
While it would be easier to call this a media conspiracy and pin the blame on a scheming mastermind, the truth is that there is one simple motive behind it all: money. The beauty product and weight loss industries are flourishing at our expense—somewhere to the tune of $100 billion per year.

In one revealing example from the 90s, a prominent women’s magazine featured gray-haired models in a fashion spread. When one of their foremost advertisers, a hair color company, withdrew its entire ad campaign from the magazine upon seeing the un-dyed hair, the magazine was forced to avoid featuring gray-haired women in a positive light in any of its pages. The same pressure exists throughout any media outlet that features advertising for appearance-focused products, and it would be a challenge to find one that doesn’t.

This plan to convince viewers that female worth is dependent upon appearance is incredibly successful. But once we recognize we’re in a battle, we can start to defend ourselves.

The Battle to Take Back Beauty
If you’ve read this far, you’re already equipped with a few self-defense skills. We can start by training ourselves to ask and answer pivotal questions, such as the following, about the media we’re exposed to on a regular basis:

• Who is advertising in these pages or on this screen? (Look for ads, commercials, and product placement that may affect the media content.)
• Do I feel better or worse about myself after viewing this media?
• Is the media I consume promoting real health or unattainable ideals that focus solely on appearance?
• How are women presented in my media choices? Are they valued for their talents and personality? Do they look like me or the women in my life?
• Are my health and weight-loss goals based on concrete measures of fitness or wellness, or are they motivated by a desire to look a certain way or fit into a certain size?

By acknowledging that very few girls and women feel comfortable in their bodies, we can begin to realize it is the standard that needs changing—not us. We should never feel like our bodies are some sort of burden to bear instead of a precious gift we’ve been given!

Learning to recognize and reject the negative ideas so prevalent about women’s bodies is a wonderful step toward being comfortable with our looks and taking better care of ourselves. The ongoing process of redefining what “beauty” and “self-worth” mean ignites a spark of change that can spread to many others within our realm of influence, from a daughter who sees her mother appreciating her body rather than criticizing it, to sisters who forsake worldly judgments and embrace every woman as a friend.

Redefining Reality
When it is so easy to get caught up in the way we look, sometimes the best way to improve self-esteem is to forget ourselves for a moment. That might involve visiting someone with stories of a time when media consisted of radio melodramas and newspapers, or shoveling the driveway of a friend whose health restricts him or her from being able to do so. Forget about expensive makeup and diet pills—the best way to improve your appearance is to have a little more light in your countenance! Service in any capacity fills us with love and light that radiate from within and draw people near.

Since we’ll see more images of women in one week of media than we’ll ever see face to face, we must regularly give ourselves a reality check by remembering what real beauty looks like. This definition accounts for much more than superficial attractiveness, whether it’s the acknowledgment of an inspired church lesson or a well-played soccer game, a tasty meal or endearing laugh lines on the face of a friend. Though media definitions of beauty aren’t going to loosen up, we know we can reclaim our power by turning away from images that hurt us and looking directly at one another. We can take control every time we turn away from media that causes us to feel sub-par or portrays women as sexual objects instead of thinking, feeling humans, or when we speak out about what we perceive as harmful.

When billions of dollars and countless hours are spent fixing perceived “flaws,” we must recognize that where we spend our time and money reflects our priorities. When appearance is our concern over other things, such as health, cultivating relationships, or developing Christ-like characteristics, we must re-prioritize. When girls and women judge and are judged based on their appearances, we must redefine what we value. If we find media ideals have more influence in our lives than we’d like, we can work to reject those distractions that prevent us from moving on to more uplifting things.

Since these controlling ideals are held in force by silence, with women feeling shamefully alone in their “disgust,” we all need to keep the conversation going. We can constantly point out the unrealistic nature of media images and talk to loved ones about re-thinking beauty. Using these strategies to recognize and reject harmful media messages, we can not only defend ourselves in the battle to define beauty, but we can win the fight for girls and women everywhere.

*Read the full article in the January/February 2011 issue of LDS Living.