Mormon Life - Exclusive Articles

Autism in Our Primary

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by Wendy Green
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Working with autistic children in a church setting, when you may not be trained in how to work with the disability, can be a great challenge. But with patience, the right attitude, and some essential tools, it can be a tremendous blessing. "A new family is moving into our ward!" This statement always brought an air of joy and excitement to our small congregation. Our Primary wasn't very big, so the thought of more children and potential leadership help was pretty exciting.

During the next meeting, *Brother Johnson, an older member of our ward, shared information about the new family - his family. The husband, Chad, was Brother Johnson's son. Chad and his wife, Anne, had five children. The family was wonderful, Brother Johnson explained, but a few of the children had special needs. One boy was autistic and two other children had Asperger's syndrome. I wondered, what this would mean to our ward, to our Primary. Because our ward is very kind, I knew the next question most people would ask was, "What can we do to help?"

Brother Johnson asked for our patience and understanding as a ward. He explained that his son's family was amazing, though the children could be a challenge. What an understatement that turned out to be!

The Johnson family's first Sunday in sacrament meeting was rough. Their six-year-old son, Gavin, had the hardest time. He made a lot of loud noises, slapped his legs and yelled whenever his mother tried to correct him. His little sister and older brother also caused a commotion. The congregation tried to ignore the distractions, but it was difficult to disregard the loud outbursts from the back of the room.

Primary was worse. Gavin jumped from chair to chair and talked so loudly that whoever was speaking would have to stop until Gavin could be quieted. The older primary children tried to ignore his behavior while the younger ones kept asking why Gavin acted as he did.

The next Sunday, Anne took a few minutes during Sharing Time and explained autism to the children using terms they could easily understand. She talked about the different way Gavin's brain functioned compared to a regular person. Anne explained the noises he made and the leg slapping as the ways his brain made sure he was okay. This helped both the children and the teachers understand more about him. From that point on, the kids were much more accepting of Gavin and more tolerant of his behavior.

Some of the adults in our ward weren't as accepting. I learned that more than one person had complained about the children's disruptive behavior; one woman even said she might stop attending our ward.

My heart went out to Gavin's family. The family itself struggled, partly because Chad also had Asperger's and struggled with his roles as father and provider. I knew that the other auxiliaries were involved with helping the family, so I decided to focus my efforts on helping Gavin.

I was nervous about offering to help because I didn't know much about autism. But I was willing to learn. I approached our Primary President and said, "I'd be happy to sit with Gavin during Sharing Time." A look of relief swept over her face. From that point on, my unofficial calling was to be Gavin's friend, and I learned as much from it as I have from any other calling.

Be patient.

The first Sunday, Gavin wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. I had to corral him just like the secretary had before. I had to block the cabinet doors to prevent his climbing in them, and gently lift him off the chairs he jumped across every week.

I tried to keep my voice calm and offered positive statements like, "Let's keep our feet on the floor," and "Chairs are for sitting." I refrained from scolding him or telling him what not to do. After making the same statements in a calm voice, carefully setting him back in his seat, and modeling appropriate behavior, Gavin began improving and his outbursts lessened.

Keep it simple.

With my children, I often gave detailed instructions with accompanying explanations. I'd say things like, "Please don't climb on the furniture. It isn't polite, it makes the furniture dirty, and you could get hurt." I found Gavin responded better to simple gestures like shaking my head when he did something wrong or clucking my tongue to get his attention instead of repeating his name over and over. Also, using simple phrases like "feet down" to remind him not to kick chairs yielded a better result than lengthy requests.

Be genuine and specific with praise.

Children are perceptive and can tell when praise is patronizing. I made sure to praise Gavin when I noticed him trying to follow instructions. "Thank you for remembering to use a soft voice," brought a bigger smile than, "Thanks for being good."

Gavin was also a very talented artist and would draw amazingly realistic pictures for his age. A specific comment like, "Your dinosaur has super sharp teeth" showed I was really looking at his work more than statements like, "That's nice," or "Good job."

Create predictability.

We went through a ritual each Sunday. It started when I saw Gavin in primary; he would look me in the eye and say, "You're Wendy. You have green eyes." Then we would enjoy our time together drawing, whispering, and quietly playing with the stuff from my "church bag" in the back of the Primary room.

Gavin had favorite items that I was sure to bring in the bag every Sunday: farm sticker books, crayons, Legos, and Smarties. He'd take careful inventory of my bag each week to be certain nothing was missing. One Sunday I left a particular book he liked at home, and he threw a kicking fit on the floor. I learned quickly to maintain a consistent inventory.

Be consistent and reliable.

Along the same lines as creating predictability, make sure you yourself are consistent when working with special needs children. If I was late to Primary, Gavin's screams of, "Where's Wendy? I want Wendy!" would echo down the hall. I learned that to keep the peace, I really needed to be on time.

One Sunday, I went to a baby blessing at a different ward. I'd found a great substitute to be with Gavin and made sure she had "the bag." I shared a few of the tricks I'd learned to help Gavin manage his behavior. I thought as long as she knew the routine and had the all-important bag, Gavin would be fine.

I was wrong. Gavin threw so many fits that the primary president had to have his mother Anne come and take him.

Occasionally you may need to change the schedule, but make sure to account for the repercussions when you do. In my case, notifying Gavin's mother and Gavin himself and making arrangements more fitting to his needs might have ended better.

Love the spirit within.

Over the course of our time together, Gavin and I had become friends. I thought our key to success was the toys and candy I brought, but after the problems that resulted when I wasn't there, I learned my presence meant something.

The week after I missed primary, Gavin ran up to greet me. He climbed onto a chair so he could stand eye-level with me. He'd never touched me before, so I was surprised when he gently placed his hands on my cheeks. He looked me in the eyes and said softly, "You're Wendy. You have green eyes." This time, he added, "I missed you." Then he gave me a big hug - the first hug he ever gave me.

It also turned out to be the last hug we ever shared. Gavin's family situation had worsened, and the next week Anne unexpectedly took the children and moved.

It's been a few years since I've seen Gavin, and I still miss him. Working with him was a challenge, but it was also a tremendous blessing. He taught me patience. It was a different kind of patience than I'd learned from dealing with my own children, a more thorough patience discovered through kindness, compassion, effort, and understanding.

Several months after Gavin had moved, my six-year-old asked, "Do you miss Gavin?" I answered that I did. He asked, "Did you love Gavin?" I answered that I most certainly did. "I already knew that," he said before running off to play.

I'm glad my son knew how I felt about Gavin. I hope Gavin knew I loved him then, and I hope he still knows it now.

*Names have been changed.

More Lion House Recipes

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by The Lion House
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Fall is the perfect time to bake something warm and spicy. Check out these recipes in addition to the great Lion House Recipes in LDS Living magazine! Carrot Cake

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 cup coconut
1/2 cup walnuts
1/2 cup raisins
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
3 cups peeled and grated carrots
1 recipe Cream Cheese Icing (below)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease and flour two 9-inch round or square cake pans or a 9x13-inch pan; set aside.

Whisk together flour, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon in a large bowl; set aside. Combine coconut, walnuts, and raisins in a food processor or blender and process until very fine (or chop with knife until very, very fine). In a large mixing bowl, combine sugar and oil and mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until creamy. Add dry ingredients and mix until well blended. Add ground nut mixture and grated carrots and beat until blended. Divide batter equally into pans and bake 40 to 45 minutes. Allow to cool 10 minutes before removing from pans and placing on cooling racks. When completely cool, frost with Cream Cheese Icing. Makes 12 servings.

Cream Cheese Icing

2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
5 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla

Beat cream cheese until softened. Add butter and mix until blended. Add 3 cups powdered sugar and beat until blended. Add remaining powdered sugar and vanilla and beat until smooth and fluffy. Do not over mix; icing will be runny.

Whole Wheat Bread

1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
3 cups lukewarm water
1 cup oatmeal
1/4 cup molasses
6 tablespoons nonfat dry milk
6 tablespoons shortening
5 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 tablespoons salt
2 cups white all-purpose flour

Directions for mixing with electric mixer: Soften yeast in 3 cups lukewarm water in large mixing bowl. Add remaining ingredients and beat until dough forms a ball and leaves sides of bowl (part of flour may need to be mixed in by hand). Remove beaters, cover bowl, and let dough rise for 1 hour in a warm place, away from drafts. Punch down and shape into 2 loaves. Place in 2 well-greased 5 x 9 loaf pans; cover with a clean towel and let rise until almost doubled in size, about 45 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until a deep golden brown. Turn loaves out onto a wire rack to cool. Brush tops with melted butter.

Directions for hand mixing: Dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup lukewarm water; set aside. Combine remaining 2 3/4 cups water, oats, molasses, and nonfat dry milk; add half the white flour and half the whole wheat flour, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition. Add softened yeast, remaining flour, shortening, and salt. Mix well; knead until dough is smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Place in covered bowl in warm place until doubled in size. Knead 1 minute to force out air bubbles. Shape into two loaves. Place in 2 well-greased 5 x 9 loaf pans. Cover and let rise until doubled in size. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Remove from pans to cool. Brush tops of loaves with melted butter.

Honey Butter

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup honey
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

Beat butter until it is broken up. Add the honey and the vanilla. Beat for 10 minutes, scraping mixture to the bottom twice during the mixing. (It is very important that this mix for the entire 10 minutes or it will separate.) Store, refrigerated, in a plastic container.

Raspberry Honey Butter

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup red raspberry preserves
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

Beat butter until soft; add honey and preserves while mixer is running. Add vanilla and beat for 10 minutes. Store, refrigerated, in plastic container.

Cinnamon Rolls

2 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup nonfat dry milk
2 tablespoons active dry yeast
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon salt
7 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 recipe Buttercream Frosting (see below)

Place water, oil, eggs, vanilla, and milk powder in the large bowl of an electric stand mixer and stir vigorously until milk is dissolved. Sprinkle yeast over liquid mixture then add the 1 cup sugar, salt, and flour.

Put dough hook on mixer and mix for 10 to 15 minutes at low speed. The dough will be very sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let rise until doubled in size, about 1-1/2 hours. Turn dough out onto a floured surface and roll out into rectangle shape. Brush with melted butter. Sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon. Roll up rectangle lengthwise and cut into one-inch slices. Grease a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper. Place rolls on cookie sheet, cover with plastic wrap, and allow to rise until doubled in size, 1 to 1-1/2 hours.

Bake t 350 degrees for 12 to 14 minutes. After baking, let cool slightly before frosting. Frost with Buttercream Frosting. Makes about 18 rolls.

Buttercream Frosting

3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
6 to 8 tablespoons cream or evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

Blend powdered sugar, butter, and 3 tablespoons of the cream in a large bowl with an electric mixer on low speed until combined well. Slowly add the rest of the cream, 1 tablespoon at a time, until creamy and smooth, but not at all runny. Add vanilla and mix again.

Lion House Cheesecake

Crust:

1 1/2 cups finely crushed graham cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
6 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
3 eggs
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons lemon juice

Topping:

2 cups sour cream
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Prepare crust: Thoroughly mix graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and melted butter. Press firmly onto bottom and sides of a 10-inch pie pan or a springform pan; set aside while preparing filling.

Filling: In a large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth; add sugar a little at a time. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Mix in vanilla and combine thoroughly. Pour into crust; fill to within half an inch of top to allow room for topping. Bake 55 to 60 minutes, until set or when the pan is gently moved, the center does not move.

When cheesecake is almost finished baking, beat sour cream with a wire whisk; add sugar and vanilla and mix well. Pour over cake and bake an additional 10 minutes. Cool completely. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Top with desired fruit topping or serve plain. Makes about 8 servings.

Caramel Apple Pie

3/4 cup granulated sugar, plus additional for dusting top crust
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, plus additional for dusting top crust
1 large pinch nutmeg, plus additional for dusting top crust
8 apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
2 tablespoons cream
Pie crust (enough for double-crust pie)
1 recipe Caramel Sauce (see below)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together sugar, flour, kosher salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Toss in apples, and stir in vanilla. Set aside. Stir the apple mixture every 15 to 20 minutes while making the crust.

Once pastry dough is prepared, roll out pastry for bottom crust 3 inches larger than the pie tin. Ease pastry into pan and cut away so only half an inch is overlapping the edge of the pie tin.

Pour apple filling into the pie pan. Dot the butter over the apples. Brush cream around edges of pie crust.

Roll out pastry for top crust, fold in half, and cut three 1/2-inch slits through both layers of crust. Unfold crust and place over the apples. Trim away extra crust, leaving 1 inch overlapping. Crimp edges. Brush cream over top and sprinkle with cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg.

Cover the edges of the pie with foil. Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes or until lightly brown. Remove the tin foil from edges after 30 minutes. Cover the whole pie with tin foil for the last 20 minutes. Cool on a rack for 1 hour. While pie is cooking make the caramel sauce. Drizzle warm sauce over pie before serving.

Caramel Sauce

1/4 cup butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla

In a heavy 2-quart saucepan, melt butter on high heat. Add brown sugar, heavy cream, and corn syrup. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to medium, until sauce thickens slightly, about 5 to 7 minutes. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Allow to cool in pan for 15 minutes. Drizzle over the warm pie.

*Excerpted from Lion House Bakery, Deseret Book. Click here to purchase the book!

Proven Meals for Picky Eaters

Fri, 01 May 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by Jill McKenzie
source: MormonLife.com

Mormon Life says: Try these three meals to turn dinner sorrow into dinner fun! (Excerpted from the book 52 Weeks of Proven Recipes for Picky Kids.) Meal 1

This meal's recipes are flavorful and fun - just what you need as you emerge from winter doldrums. Most of the recipes can be made ahead and/or frozen for a quick meal down the road. They are also very versatile and can be served over rice, on their own, or as a delicious layered dish in individual pie tins - a sure hit with kids. Leftovers are perfect for use in burritos, enchiladas, tacos, or sandwiches.

Baja Bonanza Cilantro Chicken

2 pounds frozen chicken breasts
2 14-ounce cans chicken broth
1 lime, cut into wedges
1 handful chopped, fresh cilantro leaves
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
2 teaspoons seasoned salt

Place the frozen chicken and chicken broth in the bottom of a 4-quart slow cooker. Squeeze lime juice over the chicken. Discard all but 2 of the wedges; place those in with the chicken. Add remaining ingredients and stir. Simmer for approximately 8 hours on low heat. When the chicken is done, take 2 forks and shred the chicken. Keep in the slow cooker and serve in natural juices over rice or as part of another dish. Freeze leftover chicken to use in burritos, tacos, enchiladas, or to make a great chicken sandwich. Serves 6 to 8.

Sweet Rice

2 tablespoons olive oil
4 cups long-grain brown or white rice
1 yellow Walla Walla onion, chopped
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 14-ounce can coconut milk
1/2 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
1 handful fresh, chopped cilantro leaves
6 cups water or chicken broth

Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add rice, onions, lime juice, cumin, and basil and saute until rice is lightly browned. Add the rest of the ingredients. Stir. Bring to a boil for 2 minutes, cover with a lid, and reduce heat. Simmer for 20 minutes. This is a great side dish or filling for enchiladas, tacos, and burritos.

Serves 6 to 8.

Pork Barbacoa

1 2-pound pork roast
3 12-ounce cans Coca-Cola® or Sprite®
1 14-ounce can chicken broth
1 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tablespoons butter
1 20-ounce can pineapple chunks, undrained
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons seasoned salt
1 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

Place pork roast in a large, nonreactive bowl. Pour soda over the top, cover with plastic wrap and marinate in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours, or overnight. In a 4-quart slow cooker, combine chicken broth, brown sugar, butter, pineapple chunks (including juice), cumin, seasoned salt, ketchup, and vinegar. Discard soda marinade and place pork roast in the slow cooker. Simmer on low for at least 8 hours. Shred pork with 2 forks and serve in sweetened natural juices over rice or as part of another dish.

Serves 10 to 12.

Dinner in Pie Tins

6 to 8 10-inch flour tortillas
1 recipe Sweet Rice
1 bag salad greens
1 recipe Baja Bonanza Cilantro Chicken or Pork Barbacoa
Guacamole
Pico de Gallo
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Sour cream
1 recipe Jill's Tomatillo Dressing (see below)
Tortilla chips, crushed
Pie tins for each family member

In each pie tin, let family members layer ingredients in this order (using as many or as few ingredients as each person likes): tortilla, beans or rice, salad greens, chicken or pork, guacamole, pico de gallo, cheese, sour cream, Jill's Tomatillo Dressing, crushed tortilla chips.

Serves 6 to 8.

Jill's Tomatillo Dressing

6 tomatillos
1/2 .87-ounce packet buttermilk ranch dressing
1 1.1-ounce packet Hidden Valley Fiesta Ranch Dip®
1 cup chopped, fresh cilantro leaves
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/2 cup lime juice
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup milk

Peel husks off tomatillos and discard. Wash tomatillos and place in blender along with all remaining ingredients. Blend until a fine sauce forms. Chill until ready to serve.

Makes 2 cups.

Meal 2

Pasta and garlic bread are a staple in most homes with picky eaters. This week, try a new recipe that doesn't involve cooking spaghetti noodles and dumping a can of sauce on top. Let the kids help you stuff the shells and sprinkle the cheese over the top. Extend the "cheesy" theme and add shredded cheddar cheese to your garlic bread. After all, what kid doesn't love gooey, melted cheese?

Cheesy Stuffed Shells

24 uncooked jumbo pasta shells
3 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
1 cup shredded asiago cheese
1 cup ricotta cheese
1 cup cottage cheese
4 tablespoons minced chives
1 10-ounce package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
4 cups meatless spaghetti sauce, divided

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook pasta according to package directions. In a small bowl, combine half the mozzarella cheese, asiago cheese, ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, chives, and 1 cup of the spinach. (Save remaining spinach for other uses.) Spread 2 cups of the spaghetti sauce into a shallow 9x13-inch glass baking dish coated with cooking spray. Drain pasta; stuff shells with cheese mixture and arrange in baking dish. Top with remaining spaghetti sauce and mozzarella. Bake 30 minutes.

Serves 4 to 6.

Cheesy Garlic Bread

1 large loaf French bread
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut French bread in half length-wise. Spread butter onto soft sides of cut French bread. Sprinkle seasoned salt, garlic powder, and cheese onto bread. Bake 5 to 10 minutes, until cheese is melted and bread is lightly toasted. Cut into squares and serve immediately.

Serves 6 to 8.

Meal 3

Never heard of Captain Crunch cereal for dinner? Well, now you have. The secret in this week's main recipe is the Captain Crunch. Just knowing that a yummy breakfast cereal is part of dinner will make kids eager to dig in. This is a great main course or a wonderful appetizer.

Chicken Crunch

3 cups Captain Crunch® cereal
1 cup Cornflakes® cereal
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 egg
1 cup milk
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves cut into bite-sized pieces*

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Put the cereals in a zipper bag and crush with a rolling pin or a cup. Combine crushed cereals, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and pepper in a medium bowl. In another medium mixing bowl, beat the egg with a fork. Stir in the milk. Dredge chicken in the milk and egg mixture. With a slotted spoon, remove the chicken from the egg mixture, and then toss it in the dry mixture until the chicken is evenly coated. Place chicken pieces on a cookie sheet coated with nonstick cooking spray and bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown. Serve with Tangy Mustard Sauce (recipe following) or your favorite barbecue sauce.

Serves 4 to 6.

*Chicken that is slightly frozen is much easier to cut into pieces—and saves a lot of prep time.

Tangy Mustard Sauce

2 tablespoons Grey Poupon® Country Dijon Mustard
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon yellow mustard
1 teaspoon creamy style horseradish sauce
1 teaspoon honey

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Chill until ready to serve. If you are a "saucy" person, you had better double or triple this recipe, because it is good. You can also serve this on grilled chicken or atop a green salad.

Serves 4 to 6.

Quick Summer Slaw

1 16-ounce package coleslaw
1 bunch green onions, finely chopped
1/2 cup shelled sunflower seeds
1/2 cup slivered or sliced almonds
1/2 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons apple cider, balsamic, or raspberry vinegar (your choice)
1 package chicken-flavored ramen noodles

Toss coleslaw, green onions sunflower seeds, and almonds together in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together oil, sugar, vinegar, and the seasoning packet from the noodles until well blended. Just before serving, stir in dry, crushed ramen noodles.

Serves 4 to 6.

Pear Ice

1 28-ounce can pears, chilled
4 cups ice

Pour chilled pears, including juice, into blender. Add the ice and blend. Serve in dessert glasses or freeze into popsicles.

Serves 4 to 6.

Stifling Vain Ambition

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:00:00 -0600

by Robert Millet
source: MormonLife.com

It is so often the case that a virtue can, by a slight misuse or perversion, become a vice. So it is with ambition. We applaud those who are creative, who seek new and unusual ways to do their job more effectively. We teach our daughters to look carefully for spiritual strength, dependability, consistency, kindness, and yes, ambition in young men they date and may choose to marry. We recognize and honor those who are ambitious, who have a strong work ethic, and who know where they want to go in life. Indeed, people without ambition tend to wander, to hop from one attractive enterprise to another. They are unstable, bored, stagnant, and easily distracted. They have trouble focusing on a main idea and difficulty in moving down a planned pathway.

It is worth noting that though some of the dictionary definitions of the word ambition are positive and affirming, a surprising number are negative. For example, "an ardent (orig. inordinate) desire for distinction; . . . ostentatious; . . . display, pomp; . . . personal solicitation of honours; an aspiration to be, to do" (New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, 64). We can thus gain some appreciation of why "vain ambition" is included in the sobering list of sins that prevent those who are called from being chosen. "And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men" (D&C 121:34-35, emphasis added).

Many are called, but few are chosen. President Harold B. Lee pointed out that even though we have our "agency here, there are many who were foreordained before the world was, to a greater state than they have prepared themselves for here. Even though they might have been among the noble and great, from among whom the Father declared he would make his chosen leaders, they may fail of that calling here in mortality" (Ensign, January 1974, 5). That is, they were called there but are not chosen here.

The vainly ambitious in the kingdom of God "aspire to the honors of men." Let us break this thought down. To begin with, there is nothing wrong with aspiring to greatness, aspiring to spirituality, aspiring to be the best we can be. There is surely no sin in seeking to be better, sharper, more proficient, more intelligent, more effective. In fact we really ought to work smarter in the Church and kingdom of God. And, secondly, there is nothing wrong with receiving the honors of men.

Many of our great Church leaders of the past have been acknowledged nationally and internationally for their gifts, talents, and contributions. Elder Ezra Taft Benson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was appointed United States Secretary of Agriculture in the Eisenhower administration from 1952 to 1960. Elder Richard L. Evans of the Quorum of the Twelve served as president of Rotary International. President Thomas S. Monson has received some of the highest recognitions offered by the Boy Scouts of American for a life of dedication to this marvelous organization.

And the same is true for many other members of the Church. Thousands of our youth serve as school or class officers; many of our women have been recognized as Mother(s) of the Year; and large numbers of our academic, political, military, and industrial leaders have become known and sought after, around the world, for their expertise. This is how it should be: the disciples of Christ, the Saints of the Most High, are called to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world, to make a difference because they are different, to allow their influence to be felt.

Where we get into difficulty is not in aspiring, nor is it in receiving honors. It is when we aspire to the honors of men. That is, we cross the line of gospel propriety when we seek for the honors of others.

Let’s be realistic for a moment. Each of us wants to feel needed, to feel appreciated, to be told that our meager efforts make a difference and that we are genuinely valued. In short, we all would like to be counted as persons worthy of recognition and honor. As we mature in the things of the Spirit, however, we begin to find personal satisfaction in a job well done, a good deed rendered, a church calling magnified, even if those contributions are not publicly acknowledged. Ideally, we are content to know what we have done and to know that God knows it.

While it does not appear to be a significant problem, there are some within the household of faith who aspire to Church callings and assignments. In some cases, these desires are not all bad, because the individual would simply like to know that she or he is known by our Father in Heaven, enjoys his favor, and, frankly, is worthy to be called to such an important responsibility.

On the other hand, if a man wants to be bishop in order to have people think highly of him, his motives are impure. If a woman wants to be the Relief Society president in order to be in a position of authority and prominence, her desires are out of bounds. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. stated so eloquently, "In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one takes the place to which one is duly called, which place one neither seeks nor declines" (Conference Report, April 1951, 154).

The warning is not simply against ambition but against vain ambition. Something is vain when it is empty, shallow, meaningless in the eternal scheme of things. We have been called to labor. We have been selected to make choices, to set priorities, to see to it that we value some things more than others. There are men throughout the world who labor long hours in making a living. Some spend the greater part of the day adding to their pile of surplus, expanding upon the affluence they have already attained. Others build houses that more closely approximate castles, residences that almost resemble cathedrals.

Every family, to the extent that it can do so, likes to enjoy the little comforts, luxuries, and niceties that make life pleasurable, but we must, at the same time, take seriously the words of our Lord: "Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth" (Luke 12:15). "He who dies with the most toys wins" is not really true, especially in regard to eternal matters. As Elder Lance B. Wickman taught: "This life is not so much a time for getting and accumulating as it is a time for giving and becoming" (Ensign, May 2008, 105).

It is tragic to witness how often men who would never consider being unfaithful to their wives are less than faithful in their priesthood responsibilities; those who would not think twice about whether to pursue the sexual pollutions of our day who yield instead to the persuasions of pleasurable living and spend most of their time in the lap of luxury. I say all of this to remind each of us how desperately our wives and children and friends and neighbors need our righteous influence and our service, and where exactly peace and contentment are ultimately to be found.

We ask ourselves, though, shouldn’t we seek to excel? Certainly we should do the work of the Lord excellently. We should have an excellent record of home teaching, an outward indication that we are meeting regularly with our assigned families, strengthening our bonds of friendship and nurturing them by the good work of God. Certainly we should seek to hold excellent, as opposed to shoddy, family prayers, family scripture readings, and family home evenings. Certainly we should be excellent in our attendance at church meetings, a regular, active, practicing, and involved member of the body of Christ. And so forth.

What we do not want to do, however, is to "seek to excel," that is, to do things to be considered excellent, to gain the applause of fickle observers. "A desire for such approval is not all bad, especially among Church members, who generally reserve their approval for accomplishments having positive value," observed Elder Bruce C. Hafen. "But other people are not finally our judge, and making too much of either the affirmative or the adverse judgments of others can actually undermine our relationship with God and our development of sound values" (Broken Heart, 97-99).

Our Lord and Redeemer taught a deeply profound lesson in a few words: "I receive not honour from men" (John 5:41). He did not court favor and was no respecter of persons. With all the light and knowledge and power at his disposal, he did not do things to make a good impression; he did not manage appearances, so that the Jews or the Gentiles would be wowed by his presence or his precepts. He "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38), but he did not put on airs. He served his fellow beings on earth, but he did so without fanfare. He lived a life in which he was so constantly inconvenienced, but he never boasted of it. He was who he was, and he thereby stands as our Model and our Prototype. His ambition was sublime, the grandest and most profound of all ambitions, namely, to save every living soul.

Online Exclusive: The Trek of a Lifetime

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:41:00 -0700

by LDS Living Staff
source: MormonLife.com
Mormon Life says: Have you ever wanted to walk in the footsteps of your pioneer ancestors? This summer you can have your chance. Whether you join the wagon trail for a day, a week, or a month, the experience is sure to help you gain a new appreciation for the courage and strength of the early Saints. Danny Van Fleet was in Illinois a dozen years ago when he heard about the sesquicentennial pioneer wagon-train re-enactment heading from Nauvoo to Salt Lake City. He signed up immediately, intending to join the trek for a couple of days. Instead, he spent more than three months on the trail, riding all the way to Salt Lake City. h2. A Spiritual Journey "I wasn't a Mormon at the time," Danny recalls. "I was in it for the horses." But what Danny got out of the experience was much more than a nice horseback ride--he found the gospel. "Doing this wagon train with a group of Mormon people was a great experience," he says. "Learning about their ancestors and experiencing some of the hardships they encountered, it just made a believer out of me. I felt there had to be something about this religion and its ability to withstand so many trials. And I couldn't get over how strong the family ties were." Danny was baptized in January 1998, and he remains in close contact with many who were on the wagon train with him. h2. A Legacy of His Own Now, because of the life-changing experience Danny had on the sesquicentennial trek, he is organizing a wagon train of his own. "I want to give other people the chance to experience what we experienced," he says. "I hope this wagon train builds its own legacy and build bonds and lifelong friendships. It will be the birth of a new family of people wanting to experience the footsteps of our pioneering ancestors as they made their way to Zion in the 1800s." Over the next three summers, Danny will be leading a wagon train over 1,300 miles--leaving Nauvoo on May 31 of this year to cross Iowa and arrive at Winter Quarters in Omaha, Nebraska, on June 28; through Nebraska and westward in 2009; and on to Salt Lake City in the summer of 2010. He plans to stick within three to five miles of the original Mormon Trail. The wagon train will leave at about 8 a.m. each day, and stop about 4:30 p.m. after 15 to 20 miles of travel. Along the way, he'll share some pioneer history, and at some locations people can view cemeteries where members of the original trek are buried. "The wagon train is the greatest thing I've done in my lifetime," says Danny. "This is what I want to give back to the Church." Visit vanfleetwagontrain.com for more information. h2. If You Go So, are you ready to hit the trail for the trek of a lifetime? Here are some things you need to know: * This year the wagon train leaves May 31 from Nauvoo and will stop at Winter Quarters on June 28. People will ride 15 to 20 miles per day, mostly along secondary roads. * People can sign up for a day, a week, a month--whatever they would like. They can also ride for a few days, return home, and join the wagon train again farther down the trail. * The wagon train will not travel on Sundays. * Wagons can be rented to experienced teamsters, but Danny will need to know how many people will ride in the rented wagon. Other registered trail riders can ride in wagons driven by Danny's experienced teamsters. * People can walk along the trail or pull a handcart if they wish. * Horses are available for rent. Call Danny at (309) 337-1100 as soon as possible to make reservations. * If bringing your own wagon, both antique and modern type wagons are acceptable. * Feed for animals will be available for purchase. Water will be free. * Professional horsemen and an on-call veterinarian will be available to riders along the trail. * People will sleep in their own tents, campers or motor homes, or motel rooms if one is near the night's stop. Movers will be available to move vehicles during the day as people ride the trail, or they can bring participants back to their vehicles at the end of the day. * Electricity will be available at some campgrounds. * Shower facilities will be available at some campgrounds, but not all. * Portable restrooms will be available. * People can bring their own food or purchase food along the way. They also can buy a trail ride food package. * There will be entertainment at the camps on some nights. * There are family, group, and early sign-up discounts. Call for a quote. To make reservations, call Danny Van Fleet at (309) 337-1100. Visit vanfleetwagontrain.com to learn more.

Creating a Family Calendar

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 17:00:00 -0700

source: MormonLife.com
Mormon Life says: One of the best ways to organize your family is through the tried-and-true wall calendar. Setting aside some time during a family home evening to determine schedules and responsibilities will help you get your family's act together. Here are some keys to organizing and staying focused on your goal. *1.* Each Monday at the beginning of family home evening have each member of your family list the activities in which they will be involved during the week and which activities are coming up that month. Have children look through school assignments, extra-curricular activity schedules, and church activity schedules so that nothing is forgotten. *2.* Also list upcoming extended family dinners, ward activities, work trips, family vacations, etc., on your calendar. Don't forget to block out Monday evenings for family night. *3.* Next, create a list of chores and determine how frequently these chores need to be done for your family. Assign each member of the family a week or a day for a specific chore (e.g., Week 1: Jessica empties dishwasher; Week 2: Trevor vacuums on Tuesday and dusts on Thursday). List each family member's household responsibilities on your calendar. *4.* Place your family calendar in a central location where everyone will be able to have easy access to it. Encourage your children to check the calendar often to be reminded of what is on the roster and to update it when necessary. *5.* Learn to just say no when activities start mounting up. Creating a family schedule will help you manage your time, but if you simply don't have the time, learn that sometimes "no" must be the answer. *6.* Consider blocking out specific days for each family member during the month. This is a special day to do something fun with Mom and/or Dad.